|Reviews for Benefits of old laws|
| WildlyLaughing chapter 108 . 5/26
Wait, is Tara the character from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"?! Oh dang! I wonder what happened to make THAT pairing possible, lol
| WildlyLaughing chapter 109 . 5/26
Who's Tara? I'm surprised that Harry didn't end up with Luna. Obviously in real life it's most likely that people won't marry their highschool sweethearts but it's still a little sad that we won't find out what happened to their relationship, as well as what happened to everyone else's. Did Theo and Ginny work out? Did Ron ever find anyone? Were Hermione and Viktor ever married after she graduated from Hogwarts? Even though we know that Harry became an artist, what career did everyone else go into?
| Zavod chapter 109 . 5/25
... hit enter early..
Anyway, my suggestions would be:
To tighten up your writing, I would suggest letting your interesting concepts have a decent payoff. You'd regularly build up, something, then have it fizzle out.
At one point, in an Author's Note, you commented that you had passed LOTR in story length. But that story was epic. In this one, people lived they're lives, but nothing important happened.
There was frequently anticipation of conflict, it at least a story payoff, but then zero. (the red eyes, the twins mom, the death eaters, the constant bodyguards, the goblins not getting upset at Severus's potion, that potion itself).
You explored several original concepts (repairing the tapestry, the howlers, the adoption idea, Severus's wife, M writing his OWLs, etc.,) but there was no need for a story about these things to be as long as it was, and they didn't all need to be in the same story. I felt that my time as a reader wasn't being respected.
So my final thought is: Going forward, I'd suggest writing towards a goal, then ending the story. Write with purpose, not to put words on the page.
But do keep writing!
Thanks for the story!
| Zavod chapter 109 . 5/25
Thank you for that well written story.
I would like to offer some constructive criticism, if I may...
I felt that there were a couple of changes that could have improved my interest in the story over time.
1. There were no challenges for the main characters. Any potential threat or challenge ended immediately upon confrontation.
2. Many interesting ideas took ages to build up, and then ended without any significant payoff or event.
2a) Sirius's daughters were interesting and had an enigmatic mother, but Sirius angsted over them for ever, but once we met them, the story line had no real payoff.
2b) Dumbledore seemed like a great (and traditional) foil, then suddenly wasn't.
2c) The idea of the howler terrorist was very clever, but it was obvious who it was, and there was zero actual threat to the main characters at any time. Even the assassination attempt had no sense of peril or urgency.
2d) Harry had a powerful ability in the form of parslemagic, which had zero story impact, other than showing up in Hogsmead that one time.
2e) the Slytherins had a persistent bodyguard around Harry, but he was never in need of them.
1. Ron was annoying in his inability to change
2. Harry repeated the "but he killed my parents, I should hate him", probably a hundred times.
3. Marcus was tedious
4. Hermione likes to study
5. Luna is fuzzy
Harry and Dad changed over time, yes. We'll call this, "the premise".
I kept expecting something interesting to happen with Marvolo. But
| dchupin1 chapter 109 . 5/25
I would like to share my astonishment on the work you have done here. I won't delve into much details, but simply state, that this is my first large fiction text I read in English. I have always preferred reading in my native language, so I started to read this story in translation first. But the story engrossed me enough to continue reading here, with translating every 4th word and guessing what this or that Wizarding term is. (Tbh, Art of War was easier to read) But the result was worth the effort and I thank you for the pleasure.
| fntzmeg chapter 109 . 5/25
Thank you for amazing story! I am fond of parental Lord, and your work is one of the best! I admire your determination, 109 chapters and years of work - you are a hero!
| Christian chapter 109 . 5/17
Thank you for this well written story, it has been a joy to read with many ups and downs, and a very interesting plot line, and I hope to see more from you in the future.
| Guest chapter 32 . 5/16
why would you eat more than 1 kg of strawberries in one sitting?
| kacie1 chapter 109 . 4/30
Somehow I missed the epilogue when I was reading this before, just read it now, and I need the tissues, definitely an emotional ending.
| Mary Gentle chapter 57 . 4/28
"Per Ardua ad Astra" is the Royal Air Force's motto - "through hard work/effort to the stars" was how I always heard it translated.
| Sheelahdog chapter 109 . 4/27
This is a great story! I loved the last chapter, but perhaps not the epilogue...although you still beat JKR in that. I really enjoyed the whole thing. Well done!
| maipigen chapter 109 . 4/21
Did not really like the epilogue tbh but overall the story was beautiful and original and took over way too many of my thoughts hehe thanks for sharing!
| Guest chapter 109 . 4/19
This was such a fantastic story. So glad I finally found the time to finish this. Harry and Tom slowly changed in very realistic ways as time went on. The psychologist was a great idea as was the idea of Tom slowly rebuilding his soul. Thanks so much for all the time and work you put into writing this for us!
| maipigen chapter 72 . 4/18
The romantic in me feels sad Tom wont experience a physical love but I adored thischapter! I too thought about him andBones lol! Oh and i love the luna love shes a favorite! Hope Ginny matures!
| maipigen chapter 69 . 4/18
Not really a fan of yet another oc but i trust youll change my mind as this is an amAzing story so!