|Reviews for A Family Reunited|
| Ultimateblack chapter 1 . 12/31/2015
Well, I didn't know about this until you pointed out to me. Now that I know that the dentist one is a companion fic, it makes the flow even worse. You left that one on a dark note and it would have been better if this was the next chapter to that story. As for continuing, you could write out the events of how Davis and Kari lost their son, how they try and mend their relationships. Frankly I think Taiki's reaction to him being adopted and meeting his parents was too short. He's old enough to think for his own and develop his own feelings. He could have rejected them, fought, still mourned for his adoptive mom who took care of him since young. He felt SAFE?! That's pretty abrupt for someone who had gone through trauma. Every waking and sleeping moment for Taiki could be a nightmare, seeing his mom lying dead before him. His PTSD was a lot shorter than supposed to. His friends just sent him get well items? Why not more scenes to show them trying to cheer him up? It is a golden opportunity to flesh out the supporting characters in their own way. Akari would try hard to cheer him up but feel helpless, zenjirou would have his blunt ways to getting Taiki to start going again but failing and getting dragged out by Akari, Kiriha would be silent and understanding since he lost his mother at a young age. You missed out on that. Finally, when Matt sang the song, could you have inserted little actions and reactions by Taiki every few verses or lines? Flashback to his past and the fond memories or something, to not feel like we're reading a lyric paragraph copied and pasted from metrolyrics.
After a whole lot of criticism, I guess the TLDR point is the flow of the story was a bit disjointed. It felt like reading a summary rather than a story. Expansions and little details are much welcome, and maybe you'd come back and edit this story some day. Hope you do better in future stories :)
| KumoFuzei chapter 1 . 12/23/2015
All the sentences are quite short and abrupt, which spoils the flow a bit. I'd like some more of their thoughts, a little introspection as well as the obvious plot points. It's a nice story, but yet again the pacing feels really fast.
| The Keeper of Worlds chapter 1 . 10/7/2015
Oh my lord that's like my new OTP kid thing cause it makes sooooo much sense for an AU!