Reviews for The Return |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Good, A 2 female 'Harem' is much more believable. I can't imagine Tsunade wanting to share with even one other woman easily, much less 3. |
![]() ![]() ![]() In Canon Nawaki died before Dan, but after Tsunade, Jiraya, and Orochimaru earn the title of Sannin (which is a really stupid title cause it just means 3 ninja, literally)... I believe at least. Cause Dan and Tsunade didn't meet until after Nawaki's death. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice chapter, considering your age your writing style is very good. The story itself is interesting and it was a good idea to give Itachi a new purpose outside of akatsuki, which will probably change the dynamics of aforementioned group. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Just out of curiosity, instead of 'Raion', have you considered using 'Shishi'? I can't speak for all the fans of this story, but 'Raion no Konoha' sounds sort of... forced in my opinion. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Itachi vs. Fugaku? I really hope you don't kill off Itachi like that xP Itachi is waaay more badass than Fugaku, EMS or not haha Great story, can't wait for an update~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() really good |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great chapter. Can Naruto have chakra chains jutsu. :) I hope Mikoto, Tusunde and Naruto can be a big happy family :) Thank you for the update :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is great |
![]() ![]() As far as the whole 'Flashback' issue goes, a small suggestion would be to summarize a part of it in the current timeline's dialogue. For instance, the Team Hiruzen flashback could be cut off after the quartet headed off towards the compound, with a quick narrative on what happened afterwards. Not only would it probably appeal to more fans, but it'd also help ease back into current-tense, as well as give more opportunities to further character/relationship developments. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Know the pain of high school good luck. Can't wait for itachi being hunting for revenge |
![]() ![]() Wow your nothing more then a low life piece of shit I could and can write a better story then every pathetic little bitch ass author on this website because everyone on this website is nothing more then immature children who suck dick at writing stories |
![]() ![]() Reported for sucking sasgays small pinky sized pecker |
![]() ![]() Reported for homosexual pairings |
![]() ![]() ![]() AmaiJg xhapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interesting story so far, looking forward to the next chapter. |