|Reviews for A New Life Part 2|
| MysticalKC chapter 3 . 1/5/2013
Amazing! I love it! :D
| Paradoxpixie chapter 3 . 2/21/2011
| irish8888 chapter 3 . 11/26/2010
Okay, best story EVER! i loved it. So cute and touching. I made me want to cry. Terrific plot ever and you are a awesome writer!
| Cipher Nine chapter 3 . 11/19/2010
That was... so amazing! Seriously, I'm speechless. Excellent job!
| TheGallifreyanAtheist chapter 3 . 2/20/2010
an excellent story keep up the good work
| don't-look-for-me5 chapter 2 . 12/19/2008
| the-illuminaughty-confirmed chapter 3 . 9/1/2008
This series was pretty good, but I agree with whoever said it was too sentimental. Luke especially seemed out of character - he hardly acted how I imagine a grown man would act around his father, even in this situation - the tickling, the cuddling, the holding hands, etc. It seemed you rehashed Anakin's and Luke's same trains of thought and emotions over and over again throughout the whole story. And while I am a big fan of emotional moments, this whole story was full of them nonstop, one after the other, from beginning to end. The audience needs an emotional break every so often to stay interested and engaged - even Hamlet had funny bits.
You also don't have to explain how shocked, stunned, moved, etc. the characters are after someone says something important. The audience will usually be able to tell for themselves - you shouldn't have to completely explain everything that's going through their minds. If you talk about every single thing they're thinking upon each reaction, it's like you're forcing the audience to hold your hand as you guide them through the story.
I thought it was a good idea overall, but Luke's extreme out-of-characterness (if that's a word), the over-sentimentality, the hugely long paragraphs (Leia's and Mon Mothma's, I mean - I admit, I skipped those two over, too), and the exclamation points every few sentences made it difficult to read and empathize with the characters. It just didn't seem real.
Please don't be offended - this isn't a flame, and I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm just trying to give some constructive criticism. I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense - I kind of rambled a bit there.
| Emalin chapter 2 . 7/21/2008
A good, deep chapter, once again. :) My favorite part has to be Obi-Wan's visit. He was one of the people that Anakin needed to be reconciled with ASAP. I'm glad, also, that Obi-Wan was able to recognize the part he played in Anakin's fall to the Dark Side. He's right when he says, "It's no one's and everybody's fault."
And it just makes me happy that they were able to talk again as *Anakin* and Obi-Wan. :)
For the rest of the chapter, though, I couldn't shake the feeling that the characters were OOC, particularly Han. I can't picture him as being so not-snarky at this point, or saying anything philosophical or profound (at least, not easily). I don't know... none of them struck me as being themselves, really. Luke is very sweet and innocent here, and while that works for a four-year-old child, it isn't the same for a man in his twenties. I understand you want to give Anakin and Luke the father/son relationship they missed - and perhaps my vision simply differs from yours - but I don't think Luke would be quite so childlike.
Hm... meditate on this, I will. :)
| Emalin chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Oh! One moment I thought was very beautiful: Anakin's "emotional cleansing" while getting ready for dinner. Again, it's the outside cleansing being a symbol of the inside, and I love that. I could feel everything he was feeling in that moment, too. Because, really, I think that's something everyone has experienced. (What? You haven't had an emotional epiphany in the shower?)
Hehe. Well done on that.
Just cut back on the other emotional crisis points, and epiphanies like the above can truly shine.
| Taryn chapter 1 . 5/9/2007
I love this fanfic. I hope you continue it!
| JadedofMara chapter 3 . 4/19/2007
| jakobs00 chapter 3 . 4/8/2007
quite good story. but there is one mistake, dodonna was arrested by empire after battle of yavin an freed few years after endor.
| Dreamera Tear chapter 3 . 11/8/2006
Hi. You're a pretty good writer who can reach into a reader's heart, but I think you do sometimes overdo it... sometimes what makes a story good is that the reader has to infer from the text at certain places, and then finds out that what he/she infered was right/wrong. Also, I think Mon Mothma's speech in the epilogue was a little too long and draggy, and I admit I skipped that entire part. You should split it into paragraphs to avoid that. Paragraphs that are too long will definitely lose the interest of the reader.
For this series of work, I think that it was ok, but you overdid the emotional/spiritual part of it. Too much of love and whatnot. If you toned it down a little, it would have made the characters a little more human and real. Yup. That's pretty much my feedback for this.
| Gabesgurl chapter 3 . 9/7/2006
Wow! Just wow. I read through these three stories of yours and just amazing. They are just as touching as your other and just as beautiful! You pull everything together so very well it's amazing. The way your characters are portrayed and how they express them selves blows me away. I ADORE the father/son bond Anakin and Luke have. They need it and too often stories don't have that in there. People pass up the fact that Luke spent his entire life yearning to be like his father and yearning for his father. Anyway my hormones got away with me and I'm crying but this is amazing!
| FireChildSlytherin5 chapter 3 . 7/3/2006
Like the ending. Well written.