Reviews for Silver |
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![]() ![]() ![]() hope you continue to write |
![]() ![]() This is really dead right? |
![]() ![]() ![]() "crocea Morse should've worked for an arc" funny way to find out you adopted |
![]() ![]() ![]() when post update... |
![]() ![]() ![]() pls more content |
![]() ![]() ![]() pls when more im beg |
![]() ![]() ![]() jesus christ jaune. you killed nora's pancake eating speedrun. do it again it'll be funny |
![]() ![]() ![]() It's a great story, it would be a shame if it ended up incomplete, do you plan to follow it? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I feel... frustrated by this story. It's got a good premise, but the problem is, almost non of the cast of RWBY are in it, and the story relies on ridiculous anime tropes and conveniences to make things happen, or not happen. You haven't had Nora, or Ren, or Ruby show up, but the parody or meme versions of those characters. Nora is not some insane, cochise infused lolrandom girl who can do literally anything and it's "in character" for her because Nora is "just so wacky and crazy it makes sense." Like the Fandom has taken a single line about Nora wanting pancakes, and decided Nora exclusively eats pancakes and nothing else. Or in your story about Nora targeting legs and commenting about breaking legs. That's not Nora, it's just a meme with her name on it. The same is true for nearly every other character in this story, except for Pyrrha. She is the most in character person so far. As for Jaune... you've turned him into a scatterbrained idiot. He is incapable of doing literally anything because his mind wanders around to absolutely anything except what he around be doing. The only time he can focus on anything is when it comes to Aura manipulation. You've basically turned him into a Hollywood version of an autistic savant. Then comes the anime tropes and plot conveniences. Ozpin just so happens to decided to come down from his office, immediately as class is ending for the next period, to tell Glynda about the expulsion of a team. Not only that, he goes into an excessive spiel about how cheating cannot be tolerated, a Hunters word is their bond, they must be trusted etc... to Glynda of all people. Glynda, who is a hard-core disciplinarian and wants to punish RWBY and JNPR for the food fight and other things and has to be talked down by Ozpin. Especially since Ozpin would have just sent her an email or called her on her scroll, not walked all the way to her class just to inform her of an expulsion. Having a scroll call be overheard by Jaune would have worked just as well, and having Glynda giving an abridged version of the cheating/expulsion thing would have made more sense and been more in character and served the same purpose. You also have Glynda flaring up her aura for no purpose but as a convenient excuse for why Jaune didn't speak up. Then to have Jaune also just conveniently not volunteering to fight. Why? Because you want that dumb dramatic anime reveal. I can almost guarantee that you are going to drag out Jaune forgetting to fight and somehow never getting picked to fight just so Jaune can reveal his new abilities at the Vytal Festival in the most dramatic way possible. Which is dumb, and turns Jaune into a piss poor leader. His team needs to know what he can do before the Festival so they can form strategies and practice together with his new abilities in mind. Because right now, everyone in his team is basing their strategy on how to protect Jaune and keep him from being hurt. If they know he can handle himself, then they can change how they fight. Also, Jaune needs to know how much damage his abilities do to an aura shielded person. Shooting Star deals more damage than Ruby's Crescent Rose rifle, so it would be absolutely horrific if the first time he uses it on a person, it blows a limb off or kills them. I know it's completely pointless to make this review at this point, because you're already well beyond fixing these problems. Not that most reviewers see these as problems, because most reviewers are just going to spout "Great story, looking for more" instead of anything meaningful. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The more I read the less I wanted to, truthfully I wish jaune murdered Pyrrha right then and there during the spar. I'm not reading anymore of this garbage. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Exelente fic bro espero que algún día lo continúes |
![]() ![]() ![]() Honestly good story I read alot in mid 2010s that gave Arc a great ability that isn't those usual OOC or stupidly Overpowered and worldbreaking ones. Cool to see it updated as recent as 2021. |
![]() ![]() ![]() are you okay |
![]() ![]() ![]() so hey when are you going to get back it looks nice but what is what's happening are you all right or just taking a break |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please update I need more of this |