Talk about an exciting chapter! Holy. This one was the best fight against Grass-Orochimary I can remember! Sure, I vaguely recall that some fics were very creative in this fight, but the major selling point for your fic is how... balanced the scene was. As in... it makes use of the previous changes that occurred during the story. Some things had an impact in this battle, making it more interesting and even giving us hope, but the changes, while they had impact, were no miracles...

Anyway, it may be that I'm tired, so I can't explain any better, but yeah, you played with stronger cards and received stronger enemies too, but the way of keeping us on the edge about which factor would be greater was really the best part

The Ichiraku scene was very well done. And I loved the fact that Hinata gave Jiraiya the third degree about his peeping

I've read a few chapters of the fic you recommended and... it's intoxicating. I can't stop reading it. It's really, really that good.

And do you know why it's good? It uses sex as character development, and that is how a real relationship is. There is a lot to be learned during sex, and not just the first time. The way it controls your thoughts, distorts the facts and cloud your judgment... sex is constant development for both. Individually and as a couple.

Now, Naruto and Hinata may be too young to start with those things (I wasn't, at their age), but you should keep that in mind if you want to write true romance. Don't just "they kissed and it was good". No, there is a lot more to it. Many mistakes to be made, many preferences to be discovered, new feelings to deal with and, perhaps the most interesting part, boundaries to be tested. "Should I go further?",Should I let him?"... Yeah...

I'm happy to hear Anko will get some spotlight. I really like her personality, and I think it can be used in many different, unique ways. One that came to me recently was using her as a aunty figure, as in putting her in a spot where she has to care for some of the kids, but not something as serious as a parent or a sensei...

Anyway, the chapter became pretty interesting once we hit Kankuro's fight, specially thanks to how you worked with Hinata. She did a lot in the fight, but still blames herself for things that are a lot more Kankuro's merits.

I won't lie I've read better naruhina fanics on a 2 follower fic, you nerf the two main characters way too much, and you give them more issues then solutions, your end goal like I said in another review I do not know but you will reach a writers block soon enough with the unnecessary obstacles you place on the two main instead of concentrating on solving the ones you've already placed in their way and the ones that come with the package that is their respective characters . I like things logical and realistic, don't just write bullshit "sorry about the cuss" , because people recommend it, it's nothing but a bunch of scrambled plots put together. You build up a character on one chapter only to break them down in the next I'm speaking of hinata here, you bring out her conviction but in the chapter that comes after it's like you the author forgot and instead bring her back down. This is romance and friendship fic but instead I feel like I'm watching a telenovela with the unnecessary drama put in most chapters.

I won't lie I've never read a more detailed naruhina fanfic the plot touches me and the in depth account of the human interactions and emotions you put into your story would peg me to think of you as some kinda bornefied psychologist.
But in the end you make the same mistakes in your plot kishimoto does in his. you lag character development for plot purposes when in reality the plot of your stories should relia on who your character is and how he would react to a situation and that's how a plot is created.

Naruto was made weak and dumb, there is no way someone like that can be reliable in any situation, it's stupid. I for one wouldn't trust him with a single responsibility and yet he somehow became hokage. anywho the best thing about succes is not that you achieved it but how you achieved it,naruto sends a bad message to all underdogs out there because it teaches you to blab before taking action. All his achievements are superficial as they are not his to begin with its like king in one punch man, the right place at the right time. he never achieved true strength instead he became a leech or parasite basking in the power and success of others because if the nine tails had not been sealed within him I'm sure he would be dead in every fight he had, even if he passed the academy normally.

Kishimoto had weakened naruto soo much in the story that when it became time to actually strengthen him it became something he couldn't do realistically without 'cheating' so to say, and that came in the form of the shadow clone jutsu's memory transfer, there were many occasions when naruto had used the shadow clone to do things beside fight and yet he never realised an obvious thing like a memory he hadn't made on his own being there or the fact he had a memory of death yet he wasn't dead. its silly to even imagine kishimoto got away with it. but that ain't the point I'm tryna make if there's one thing I know it's that I for one know part 1 of naruto very intimately and wish I'd never followed part 2 for the reasons mentioned above, it just left a sour taste in my mouth

Naruto as a story has soo much potential, it's the reason I enjoy fanics but I hate fanics that ultimately just become a repeat of the process kishimoto did because as I read on I can see you are planning on having someone tell naruto about his ability to improve faster then most for the reason of plot purposes so he does not improve faster then the rest of the rookies which to me is just annoying and stupid either give them a way to improve faster too or remove that advantage naruto has instead of acting like it does not exist because we your followers know it does.

I understand kishimoto did not really think ahead on that, but you have all the info given to you and yet you do not use it in a more original way, your interactions might be just that original but your plot is leading to the exact same thing kishimoto's did, soon Kakashi will train Sasuke, and naruto would be left alone to train with his godfather, he'll teach him how to draw on the kyubis Chakra to summon a toad and all of a sudden his taking on Neji and winning..

I can already see your going with the ashura and indra plot as well for naruto and Sasuke who in all honesty in this story has more character development then everyone in the story while everyone else just backtracks after a chapter or two or narutos case doesn't develop at all. Except Sakura at some point it seems.

When it comes to Naruto , his only development is on a relationship standard nothing about his character though changes why is that. Why a useless naruto both physically and mentally when this is clearly meant to be an AU. Or is the purpose of this story simply to integrate hinata into it and make them both the most broken people in the story because I've stopped a while back focusing on the story and simply read dialogs I don't even wanna read their inner thoughts as they always contradicting each other every so

I'm now reading chapter 10 and I've realised you too are doing the same mistakes kishimoto made when it came to naruto, you do not improve his skillset even though you mention his flaws in great detail and the fact most characters in the story réalisé them as well they do not try to help him on it, all I have to say is that if naruto does not use the shadow clones to train himself at some point in this arc I might just drop the story or if he isn't thought something more complementing towards his shadow clone dependent fighting style I'd rather he died then fall back to the nine tails Chakra like Canon coz that is not Au that is just adjusting an already set time line to compensate for added characters and as the person 'pulling the metaphorical strings' it's your fault. I still lack an understanding of what you are trying to do as an end result I've already came to the conclusion that hinata might have the disease that plagued her mother hope I'm right and wrong at the same time I mean she is my Anime crush right after esdese/esdeath that is.

I hope I'm wrong

I like the story alot, but I don't like how naruto is down played so often... It feels more like everybody has been touched on by kurenai except for naruto. The genjutsu training did nothing except teach him to dispel them which his teammates learned as well. At least during their training he could have learned something more constructive like Chakra control with the leafsticking or surface sticking techniques. Also when addressing the tsunami which is their team dynamic, naruto seemed more like just another 3rd party who was only there as an observant, I get your touching on character development and I like how you did it for Sakura and Sasuke but naruto was barely even touched on the most he was were examples or indirectly spoken about during that so much need talk on friendship and teammate the other issue is how naruto so easily gets over every single thing and another is the way kurenai dunked water on him as if being ridiculed by his teammates was not enough she embarrasses him in front of him as well... But otherwise it's a fantastic beginning

Since the beginning of this fic I've been saying I'd give up on it... But then I'd think to myself 'damn naruto wouldnt like it at all' Then the scene with Inari pops up and I'm like 'don't be a spineless coward endure my niqqa'. Such under handed tactics you cunning, genius author. I'm loving this fic now Hhh

These chapters with lots of NaruHina are what I came here for :D
They are among my favorite chapters so far, so I'm sorry for not leaving a longer review, but I'm freezing and almost sleeping right now...

Disregard my previous review. I forgot about the little passage here where Naruto explicitly vetoes Hinata being there. Carry on.

... Honestly, this chapter is almost perfect. It's been a running headcanon of mine for years that if Hinata interacts with Naruto more frequently, say as a team member with him, that she gains leaps in confidence and ability. Seeing her take some risks with Naruto is heartening to see.

However, I will critique one thing. I think Hinata should have been present for Naruto's confession scene. I know he doesn't want her to see that more vulnerable side of him, but Hinata isn't ignorant to it. As this is an interesting example where the roles are reversed - she's the foundation that he's leaning on in this chapter - she would probably calm his nerves a bit but it wouldn't stop his breakdown. The final image I have for that scene is Hinata giving him a tear-filled, enormously happy smile. If she's just there spying on the event, it's at this point she quietly slips away.

This was the most important chapter in this fic yet.

I didn't expect something this deep. I thought you would take another path, maybe one of conflict with Hiashi... Anyway, it was a good, it was very good.

What I liked the most was your take on the clans politics. It's hard to see people understanding why politicians do what they do and why. Well, we live in Brazil, which explains why you would understand more than most.

The main house has built itself a web of blackmail and veiled threats as a way to ensure that not one of its members can go against the system. It's why you can't change anything purely from the inside. You can do things by forcewhich has always made things worse and more authoritarian, historicallyor you can go through a peaceful way.

Naruto is a show that agrees with this idea. Most villains actually want a better world, but their solution to that would only worsen the situation and increase the oppression over the individuals. Pain wants peace through control and fear. Madara wants to brainwash every one and steal their freedom so they can be free and happy in an illusionary world. Well, Naruto uses violence to protected him and his, but when it comes to his ideals, he inspires and convinces people instead.

Another way that works is through economy, which would be finding a way to break the seal, and thus, increase the cost of maintaining the branch members under control to levels that can't be afforded (as in they would get their butts kicked).

However, you didn't quite explain why Hinata has water affinity, or what Hiashi meant by considering how his brother could be Hinata's father. Unless you go with the troupe of Hyuugas being big perverts, hehe. I wouldn't mind it too muchVoice Maker's Hinata is one of my favorites :p

This chapter was a lot more of what I wanted to read. I'm here mostly because of Hinata, after all, and I was excited to see how you would tackle her family dynamics in detail. Her interaction with her sister was really cute, and explained a lot about her character, and what are her priorities and goals.

Your take on Hiashi was good as well, and far from lacking, but I think there is a lot that can still be explored. Of course, that's probably what will happen in future chapters anyway, but I still wanted to point that out. Also, it's worth noting that recessive X dominant genes have nothing to do with how frequent they appear in the population, as you stated yourself. The gene for developing a 6th finger is dominant, ya know?

By the way, this is probably the first fic I've seen where Hinata is best friends if Sakura. This is unique, and I see a lot of potential in it. It can be used to create a lot of original content.

Nice work tying up the lose plot points you started in the first part of the chunin exams. The interactions between the characters was nicely done. Though I do not know how much freedom temeri would have to move around the village by herself, since she is still a foreign shinobi. Even with this I enjoyed the Temeri and Shikamaru interactions. How Hinata went off in Jiraiya was nicely done as well and demonstrated her assertiveness. I can not wait for Naruto's talk with the Kyubi and for more development of Gaara and Orochimaru.
If you want to rename the story try not changing it too much since some people do not have automatic chapter reminders set. I would recommend just "Chasing After You" since this is the subtitle for the story.

I was very happy to see that you answered my revisions. Authors who do such a thing are rare in fics of this caliber. I'll make sure to give some extra thought on my future reviewsFor this chapter... there isn't much I can say, to be honest, but I'll try. It feels more like the kind of chapter that is lays a good foundation for things to come.

I didn't see much difference in Naruto's mindset when compared to Canon, other than his still simple thoughts about Hinata. Of course, that's something I want to see in the next chapter: some interaction between them outside a mission. Or perhaps something deeper, like Naruto getting a sneak peak at Hinata's problem with her clan.

But anyway, the best part of this fic was, I think, Hiruzen. You went deep, and that showed just how much the old Kage has on his shoulders.

Anyway... I'm almost asleep, so... see ya