Great chapter! Really liking the changes.

great chapter bye the way i think you have years instead of days when tazun talking about the reason for him laiying

Fifty

Glad to see your update to the story. Though did you mean years or months when you wrote this sentence? That man arrived in our country two days ago and bought every single port in the island. Because of that, he is the only one selling things to us, and the only one that can buy them.

i'm not sure what to say... i like the add to focus more on the characters developing, in general i feel development (especially for the main team) of Naruto failed miserably, Sakura and Sasuke were basically the same at the 'end' as they were at the beginning but with a lot of bumps and bruises, but overall no real 'development' as people not to mention characters... the epilogue and The Last makes it feel like they had some development off screen, which i'm glad for, but what they needed was for it to be visible... (also kinda said their kid has more development in 10 post-series chaps then they did in the entire 700 combined o.O)

so yea, i like that~ GIVE THEM A FREAKIN' CHANCE TO GROW! :D

on Naruto, i like that Kurenai mentioned his envy, as Naruto's desire to have what others have is kinda his big major flaw, its human, sure and understandable for him, but to have it pointed out is so rare, so i liked that... (plus everything else Kurenai did because GODDAMNIT did they need to SEE what Sasuke's reaction would be!) so yay development~

and i love Hinata *points at own fics* i've spent far too long figuring her out, so its nice to see someone else do it~ i liked The Last for showing that her and Sakura can and would be friends, because yea, they would likely be GREAT friends, (i love Ino, i really do, but at this age she's a bitch and doesn't help at all~ :P) so seeing them interacting positively was a relief~ any external interaction is good as it allows the characters to be more then just themselves~ i also liked her foot attack, if ANYONE in the damn Hyuuga clan was going to ATTEMPT to alter the style, it'd be her~ cause the basic Jyuuken doesn't work with her body type (or women in general really~) and with her (totally canon!) Shugohakke attack and other developments outside main story, it'd be easy to see her modifying the style and incorporating kicks or something to deal with feet (having this dilemma actually right now realizing just how 'stiff' Jyuuken is) its a big flaw, and like a lot of things with the traditional Hyuuga, these flaws ought to be handled and Hinata's like the only one that would bother (provided her resolve can be bolstered enough by those around her to try~)

i hope to have fun with this~ :3 i'm all for a 'natural' development~ XD

till next *salute-waves* Sayounara!
-Ikasury

Ps: *after trolling your profile* i liked The Last... its was a dumb romance from the guy's point of view, a rare thing indeed~ though silly for its overt fairy-tale-esque shenanigans... its was still cute~ cheesy, but cute :P

I like it, this seems like a very good character building story and though it is a bit slow now im sure now you got through the startup it should progress a bit faster ) keep up the good work

Pretty well done fight, though there were a fair number of typos and such so you may want to read over it again. The biggest error was an incomplete sentence early in the chapter that simply said: "This resulted in two logs being carefully hidden by"

I am curious why you had Kakashi using wind release techniques when he never used any in the manga as far as I know. Indeed it is indicated he didn't know any (sharingan can't let you copy elemental techniques if you can't use the element to begin with). I know the wikia says Kakashi at least has potential to use wind release (assuming this is from a databook then it simply means he has potential not that he actually ever learned how to, recall that mastering elements, especially ones that are not their main element, takes most ninja years), but in the actual manga we have Kakashi telling Naruto that the only ninja he knows of in Konoha who could help him with the details of wind release is Asuma (Danzo obviously was good at wind release too but he wasn't really an option).

I love stories that aim to give more detail to various characters and explore various things and you're doing well at that so far. I do kind of hope that you won't be straying too far from the manga storyline though. I know it had flaws, but I overall liked how Kishimoto did things. Ninja history being shaped by a malevolent being (black Zetsu) who desired to restore the godlike being who first gained chakra (Kaguya) was quite epic. And while you called "The Last" movie silly, I loved it overall as well. For me the biggest flaws in the Naruto series weren't the frequent power ups or even the focus on the sharingan but the under utilization of most of the great female characters Kishimoto created. So its my hope this story will fix that while leaving much of the rest mostly the same. And while I do love exploring Sakura's innate knack for genjutsu, I do hope that doesn't mean she won't become Tsunade's apprentice.

It is funny that Sakura being a "genjutsu type" is brought up repeatedly through the manga (and even mentioned in "The Last") but she never actually learns any genjutsu, but one has to admit that medical techniques and super human strength and regeneration are overall more useful. Especially when so many of the villains have genjutsu-using and breaking abilities beyond what most anyone without special eyes can perform, I think the only one on the level of MS that didn't use eyes that we saw in the manga was that one the toads used to trap Pain).

One other nit pick is the line about Kakashi not being able to see chakra with the sharingan. Actually sharingan and rinnegan both can see chakra, just not with the detail that the byakugan can. Course Kakashi had his sharingan covered at the time so he wouldn't have been able to see what Hinata was charging in her legs anyway.

On the note of exploring other characters more, one thing I hope to see eventually is how Hinata, Shino and Kiba react/think when they find out Naruto has the nine tails in him. We never got this in the manga (beyond when Sakura found out during the rescue Gaara mission and when Sasuke found out when he went into Naruto's mind), we just know the rookie nine all found out at some point during or before shippuden. I just find the potential reactions interesting, it would especially be neat to have characters asking Naruto what it is like to actually be able to talk to the tailed beast. I know if I were them there would be so many questions to ask, since it seems even most ninja know very little about tailed beasts (indeed all the children in Konoha seemed to have been told the lie that the nine tails was killed by the 4th hokage, when anyone knowledgeable about tailed beasts would know that even when killed they simply resurrect at a later time).

Not that Naruto would be able to tell them much beyond the obvious (I can go into my mind where time passes differently and speak to a giant monster behind a huge door), he doesn't much like talking to the fox until later in Shippuden and Kurama himself isn't keen to reveal much until late in the story either, but it could still prove interesting.

I liked your description of the battles.
Looking forward to see the next chapter.

Well, Team Kurenai is the most balanced out of three teams.
Looking forward to see how you are planning for Hinata to avoid the spar with Hanabi.

Great work, looking forward to the next chapter

A monthly schedule is good,quality is alwais better than quantity and I have to say that your Fic is one of the best out there in terms of quality.

Very nice chapter, I enjoyed how all the things talked about between the characters seem to come full circle as they begin to take the lessons to heart. Loved the interactions between hinata and naruto and how she still seems to be the only one who can get a good read on him. Looking forward to your next arc, and good luck on your exams and such

great chapter

I love the chapter and I approve of the realistic pace of the development. Both Naruto and Hinata have many many issues that will take time to address. Hinata mostly involves her confidence issues and shyness. While Naruto is in many ways emotionally stunted because of the treatment the villagers have given him. He has never truly known love.

Even if Hinata confessed, realistically it would take time for Naruto to come to terms with it, and explore his own emotions. Though hopefully it doesn't take over 200 chapters, a three year time skip, and a movie (looking at you Kishi) for him to do so. Of course you could take the more rarely taken path in fanfiction and have him confess. Though that would probably take someone like Iruka, Kakashi, or Jiraiya to explain his feelings to him before Naruto would understand what he is feeling.

I am glad that you are not like many writers what have Hinata confess within the first five chapters and then within the next two chapters they are sleeping together. I have nothing against writers that do so in a believable way, but many writers take it to extremes on the plausible scale. I have a daughter around Hinata's and Sakura's age, and the interactions you have written between them is very realistic.

On a final note I loved the fight scenes. It has really established bonds of friendship between the two teams. among soldiers nothing creates bonds faster than getting drunk or fighting. Sometimes both in the same day. I was in the Army for 15 years so I have been there and done that. You are doing very well and if you keep this up this story might be one of my top ten favorites.

Now to go pass out and hope I made sense in my review since I am drunk reading and reviewing. Probably going to cringe in the morning when I wake up and see all the typos and grammar mistakes in my the review. Yay me. Good work and keep up the great writing.

As promised, here is my full review for your story.

Starting with chapter one.

I am glad that you spent that time developing the back story for why your story was going to be different. I am hopeful that Hiruzen's fears will not become a reality, but as you reference in chapter fout, sometimes some shit can get real. The amount of exposition did not bother me in the slightest.

As for Chapter two.

I was a bit dissapointed that Team 7 was not truly focused, but I liked what I read. Plus the movie scene had me cracking up. But they way you wrote it, it would leave people guessing unless they had seen the movie. While I caught the references in her dream. It was only because I saw the movie.

And for chapter three.

I did notice a few minor error's that I will have to reread the chapter to find, but not enough to detract from the story. I liked what Kurenai taught them, and I feel it was needed. Though there is a way for Naruto to gain access to Genjutsu, it just depends on how deeply you want to dive into Kurama being a Kitsune.

As for Chapter four.

The only major error I spotted is when you used feel instead of fell. I believe it was in the first third of the chapter, somewhere near the middle. Other than that, I liked the action scenes and the way Hinata managed to do damage to Kakashi. I am also glad you have taken steps to stop Sasuke from falling down the bullshit path he did in the original material. Furthermore, the entire sequence was well done, though I am curious if you will save Itachi or let him die, same with Jiraiya.

Chapter five and six.

I will do both of these because they are the same section just split. First I am glad that they are starting to get Hinata out of her shell. it is very much needed since you intend to make her a main character. I am also happy that Sakura is getting development early. I despised her first part counterpart, and loved her second one. Oddly enough the reverse is true for Sasuke.

I do hope that you handle Naruto's love realization better than the movie does. While the movie does not rush the development, when you take into account the canon books that state him and Hinata have been hanging out for months. The very fact that Naruto figuring out what Love is, is done through both a memory, and clunky exposition, was horrible. I hope you can handle it better and in a more natural flow.

The character development as a whole is being handled very well. From the small improvements and covert gestures, to the more overt ones and inner realizations. It creates a moving story that is fun to read.

While I do not have any complaints, other than the occasional use of a number instead of simply typing out, I do have a couple of suggestions.

My first suggestion deals with Hinata as a main character. Something that Kishimoto did was give each main character a summoning contract. I believe that Hinata should have one as well. Though for what Animal she could have, I would have to think on. Though I think Lynx, or a Spynx for the hold guardian aspect.

Another suggestion, and one I think you are going to do, is expand on the Gentle Step. While it was a novel idea in the Original. Like most things, it was never expanded on.

Finally, I was able to catch the reference to Team 8, and it was a very fucked up reference.