|Reviews for Secretly Dating|
| Derek chapter 1 . 5/23/2019
Marie saying to edd I promise I will tone down my hugging and kissing besides I now have another activity for us to try out but wechave to wait till tonight to try it
| MEADynasty chapter 4 . 10/20/2017
Not a bad follow-up there, added to Favorites now
| AdorkableWitch1 chapter 4 . 7/28/2016
Please update. I really like the story
| ghostninelives chapter 4 . 4/15/2016
Please update soon. Thank you, and I laughed too hard at the gum thing lol I remember when I used to end up with gum out of nowhere cause one of my ex girlfriends loved to chew gum and well I always ended up with hers in my mouth. It's a good story and very entertaining please update soon.
| gima2618 chapter 4 . 3/3/2016
nice like it I wonder how the others t going to end up together
| DMan51 chapter 4 . 1/22/2016
This story felt pretty rush to be honest. There was no antagonist and the conflict was talked about in passing. I can give you some ideas to help you with your next story.
Keep up the good work.
| ProjectDeus chapter 4 . 1/19/2016
Great ending to a really nice story. Would like to read more from you. 10/10
| Guest chapter 3 . 12/10/2015
Soooo good. Loving the sequel! Anyways, hope to see the next update for this one soon!
| ProjectDeus chapter 3 . 12/7/2015
I'm hooked. Don't stop.
| DMan51 chapter 3 . 12/7/2015
Last chapter it was at the tip of my tongue of what was missing. Now, I know. You need to show don't tell in your writing. In the beginning of this chapter. You simply just stated how Edd and Marie's parents just started arguing with each other, and Edd getting mad and cursing at them. Also it felt rushed, like you wanted to go to the dating part as soon as possible. This would of been a really good chapter if that part wasn't rushed.
When you show don't tell, you need to show the readers through your writing. Use the character's body to help move the story forward instead of just stating it. Action speak louder than words. The only time it okay to state things is if its not important to the story.
Here's an example of a statement: Marie storm to her room angry that her mother forbid her to date Edd.
Here's an example of show don't tell: "You would not date that boy and that's final!" Her mother said as she crossed her arms.
Marie frowned as her eyebrows furrow and fist balled up. "I don't give a crap what you think! Edd is not like the guys you dated! With that being said she went up the stairs. With each step the whole trailer was shaking so hard that a few family pictures drop to the floor from the impact of her harsh contact of her feet to floor. When she opened the door, with full force her hand push the door close emitting a thunderous sound, that snap Lee and May out of their trance from watching the t.v. downstairs.
Which one sounds better, the statement or the 'show don't tell' one.
So, that's my constructed criticism. Hopefully that helped. Keep up the good work.
| DMan51 chapter 2 . 12/2/2015
This chapter was good. But, theirs something about this story that's missing. Anyway I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Keep up the good work.
| Red the Pokemon Master chapter 2 . 11/29/2015
Can it be The Peanuts Movie?
| DMan51 chapter 1 . 11/1/2015
Wow, i never knew Marie means Wished-for child, rebellion, or bitter. Apparently the characters names are a reflection of who they are. I'm Looking forward to the next chapter.
| almondbutter chapter 1 . 11/1/2015
Very nice is it a one shot?
| BarthVader chapter 1 . 10/31/2015
(note: by your own admission, this could work as a standalone thing, and I'll judge it as such)
Apparently, all that was required for Edd and Marie to bury the hatched was the former getting a non-forced kiss from the latter. That was enough for DD to fall head-over-heels in a person that was treating him like a G-rated penis extension and wrecking his shit for laughs and lols. That's both OOC (as Edd is hands down the most careful and neurotic characters of the show) and bloody irrational (because it depicts common sense being overriden by the character's testosterone).
Yup, this is why people hate shipping.