|Reviews for The ties between us|
| Ashlyn.Black30 chapter 1 . 8/23
Wow. For someone who has never written in English, you wrote better than some people who native language is English. This story is well thought out, and nicely put together. Most stories on here are very... different, to have no other way to put it, and I like your ideas. They relate closely to the books, but not entirely. You nailed Severus's character, and Lucius's as well. You should be proud. Overall, this is an amazing story, and I hope you write more like it.
| Ern Estine 13624 chapter 10 . 6/13
Getting awesome good can't wait for more
| Ern Estine 13624 chapter 9 . 4/24
Interesting can't wait for more
| sgt-phoenix chapter 8 . 2/14
First and foremost, I love your story and really think you're well overdue for a review, if not more of them.
I admit I was dubious about reading your story just for the inevitable promise of grammatical errors alone, even if you kindly and courteously let your readers know so and that you're open to constructive criticism in your author's note, but your story is one of the few exceptions I'm glad I made. I'm assuming Spanish is your 1st language and you write in English exceptionally well despite the barrier(s).
I can usually mentally mute the mistakes and don't have a very hard time with the miscommunicated words here and there, but your story is put together better than some of the "Native English linguists" on this site. I've spent the last couple of days reading through it and had trouble putting it down (I'm not afraid to admit I have an addiction for fanfiction, especially one's like these, even if it may or may not be a "problem"). I'm developing a real soft spot for this story and I'm truly invested in it.
I can't get around to saying everything I love, so, I'll just touch on a few things. I really appreciate your views and insight to your thought and plot processes at the end of your chapters. With most authors, when they try to do this sort of thing it comes off as tacky and incomplete and as an afterthought to me, but I love that you have really given thought to your story. The way your examples work within the themes you express are very efficient in getting across what you want to say.
You present your concepts very clearly and concisely and you have a very unique thought process with your placement in characters, thier backgrounds and thier roles. You really know how to get into thier heads, especially with Harry in particuar, Severus being my second. I literally gush over Harry and feel so much sympathy for him, so much, I cringe and make very embarrasing cooing sounds, it's a mess...which is good. Lucius, I guess he could be more...conniving or sneakier, not that you've been lacking in any way and I know that he will pretty much always have his second adgenda and that won't change, but that's just me being picky, don't mnd that.
Severus's characterization is very believeable and isn't OOC at all, which you don't understand how much I appreciate. I respect and love your commitment to characterize Severus in your own way (though a small part of me wishes he and Harry would stay in thier previous understanding into Harry's adolescence and teen years, wanting him to keep his discipline for knowledge even if the origin of it initially wasn't good). He's written in a way I haven't read about as of yet and I know you'll pull it off well, I'm eager to read more.
Augusta Longbottom? Never would have seen that coming. Ameilia, Susan, Harry teaching Nevile how to concentrate on his magic, Severus making the connections to Lily, his inner turmoil and Draco, it's all amazing. The sky's just the limit here, I'm immensely enjoying all of these twists I (or no one, I think, really) never would have expected.
Also, do you have another account on another site and that's where your beta does thier corrrections? I would gladly voulunteer to look over things for you, if you were interested, just putting it out there.
Grammatically, one thing consistent thing I noticed is that when you say "on", it's usually correctable to "in" instead when reading within the contexts you use them.
So, keep it up and I hope you update soon! Happy writing!
- Sgt. Phoenix
| PaviCalli chapter 6 . 1/26
I was really interested in this story but I'm having problems with your intent to make Snape backtrack and see Harry as James after he already knows that Harry isn't spoiled or arrogant. That makes Snape sound stupid, which he isn't. I can see him being distant because he doesn't like being trapped into taking care of a child, much less Lily and James' son, but relapsing into the angry, bitter reaction of the books doesn't seem to fit the situation you are portraying.
| erised1186 chapter 8 . 1/26
I just read your story and really like it. I hope you continue it! I like the split custody with Snape so Harry and Draco can remain friends. I also like Susan (a character I thought could have been expanded on in the books) and hope she becomes a part of the story a bit more as well. Keep up the good work and update soon!
| Ohlivia.smith chapter 8 . 1/26
Update please this is great please please continue soon :)
| Shetan20 chapter 1 . 1/25
Thank you for a very enjoyable chapter
| Frost Merry Darkness Luver chapter 5 . 5/9/2016
Is the will going to proclaim black's innocence so they will at least give him a trial?
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/13/2015
Very well written already captured my attention hope you continue with this standard! Love the story line and keeping the characters in check! Will be following :)
| booklover19a chapter 2 . 11/9/2015
This is an awesome start! I can't wait to see how your Harry is different from canon Harry! Keep writing!
| lunaz chapter 2 . 11/8/2015
I thought this is well written and I do like how you started it. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/8/2015
I'm enjoying this very much and am interested in how Harry's custody is going to be resolved. I do think that you comments on Petunia and Vernon's behavior ignores the fact that in the books Harry says that Petunia hit him with a frying pan, an act that is abuse and outside of the argument that "a good spanking" is acceptable.
Looking forward to the rest of the story.