Reviews for Touhou: Unsubstantial Underground Adventure
ivanganev1992 chapter 14 . 1/25
CH 14 I KNOW WHO THAT WAS ,AND I CAN NOT STOP
MYSELF FROM BURNING BLACK FLAME FROM THE EYE , FLASHING BLACK SPEAR BEAM FROM THE SAME EYE AND CRACKS DOEN IN DIAGONAL UNDER THE EYE AND UP CRACKS OF THE OTHER EYE . BURNING GREEN,BLUE,PURPLE,PINK,RED, WHITE ,GREY OF THE OTHER EYE .
ivanganev1992 chapter 2 . 1/23
CH 2 With ...lots of creatures like those in Touhou trust
issues and Reimo is bitt EDGY.
Mernom chapter 15 . 11/13/2017
Oh? Interesting. The way you spun the fight is nice: Flowey tampering with the narration fits with his theme of hacking the medium. And the revelation st the end... I have yet to see the full scope of it's meaning. But it gives me a few interesting ideas.
Mernom chapter 14 . 11/13/2017
Let's go.
Mernom chapter 12 . 11/12/2017
We are off the script. Planes are crashing, bunnies are burning, and an outsider has made into onto the set! Chaos rules the filming grounds!
Mernom chapter 10 . 11/11/2017
Oh, I see. The investigators ended up visiting Asgore... Since they got our fine, I'm assuming that they DO have souls strong enough to cross the barrier, right? But do they even know about it? From it's description, it's too strong to ignore, and Asgore probably would mention them being outsides, and mention it... He's not dumb. He can easily notice that they are not from the underground, since they are coming from the barrier room without getting into it from the castle first.
Mernom chapter 9 . 11/10/2017
The quiz battle was quite amusing. The entire thing didn't go as I expected... Which is good. I love surprises, keeps stories from being boring. Something I noticed, though... Alice said she talked to the locals... And from what she said, they are not Youkai, but UT monsters. How? Did her puppets go to the underground, or... I'd there an above group monster population?
Mernom chapter 8 . 11/10/2017
Your AN's are way too long... You're basically typing out what you were feeling when writing the entire chapter. That's quite a bit of text... I'm just gonna scrim it from now on.
Other than that, the chapter is okayish.. Not much meat, but it got us to Hotlands, which means that we'll meet Alphys next. Will she try her usual plot? Or did she got scared by Reimu to the point of just guiding her to get it done with?
Mernom chapter 7 . 11/9/2017
Oh. She did a full reverse XD
Mernom chapter 6 . 11/9/2017
The fights seem very awkward as it is now. I mean, Reimu attacks them Touhou style, and they have to dodge Touhou style, but the counterattack ends up happening in the screen, and do the attacks even come from the monster, or do they just appear while the monster is just doing action poses?
Mernom chapter 5 . 11/8/2017
The thing I'm predicting about Marisa, is that she'll find the entrance to the underground and meet Toriel, and will convince her to come with her to find Reimu ala true pacifist ending. The biggest issue is see with the pacifist ending in general with the current setup, is the lack of resets... And since you mentioned that you won't skip Photoshop Flowey, and that kinda breaks our a wasp hive, since he kills Asgore before his fight, but we can't have that for the pacifist fight... The only way I see the whole thing properly unfolding, is Asgore not being killed, and Marisa bringing everyone over during Flowey's fight, and him escalating into Asriel.
Mernom chapter 4 . 11/8/2017
Well, having a loss once In a while is good for your ego. Also, I agree that Papyrus is actually much stronger than he appears. His states are about as good, if not better, as Undyne's. And he's the only monster who can properly control his attacks to be 100 non lethal. Even Toriel sometimes messes this up, and she's a friggin' Boss Monster. Although Asgore can make his attacks leave you with 1 HP as well... He just does the followup.

One thing that I need to ask though: is the soul box thing I 2D or 3D? If it's 2D, it'll be very similar to canon, but if it's 3D, I can't really see some patterns (like Papyrus) working.

And lastly, about Sans... My head canon is that he, like many other monsters, has vague memories from other timelines. I mean, Toriel kinda remembers you after a normal reset... The difference is that he knows what those memories mean, and he's great at reading data (and people. That's how he can tell how many times he killed you...)
Mernom chapter 3 . 11/8/2017
One question: what is the in universe language? Touhou, being Japanese in source, has Japanese naming, costumes, and the characters talk and read Japanese as well. Undertale, on the other hand, has English as it's main language. So unless you rule one language Supreme, or give Reimu a Collage degree (get it?) there's a discrepancy with language.
Lander Blazer chapter 16 . 11/3/2017
By Madoka, you talk too much, your notes could be a story all on their own :p
And I actually think Frisk flirting with Reimu first thing first would be totally in character for them :p

Jokes aside, I enjoyed this fic, I was afraid there might be some bias because of the whole UTxTouhou rivalry, but its actually very well written. I'm still a begginner at Touhou, but I still managed to enjoy it a lot.
Guest chapter 16 . 10/30/2017
This story although quite interesting and weird, was enjoyable. Though, that ending kinda felt abrupt and I wished you would make an extra chapter or something to show how the UT characters are doing in Gensokyo and the TH's reactions to the UT monsters.

This fic had its good points, and surprisingly not a lot of bad ones. In this case, the bad ones are that in the beginning it felt very real, as in she's actually in the UT world and stuff. But then you kept adding stuff to make it mysterious and intersting yet the expectations changed (for me anyways) in the middle from "I can't wait till the other TH characters go to the underground and meet and help Reimu!" to "I just want to know wtf is going on". But this point is forgiven due to the A/N in the end and this last chapter.

And that brings me to the other bad point. The dreadful A/Ns. I swear if the whole chapter composes of 10 parts, then the A/N takes about 2 or 3/10ths of them. And thats a lot! I mean, I get that you're trying to inform the readers of the things you needed to clarify or stuff that would help in understanding the chapter/overall story. But writing an essay is something I bet most readers skip. I for the most part TRIED to read it all but with the amount of paragraphs left discouraged me and from somewhere in the middle I just skimmed most of it and skipped the rest. I would suggest at least making a summary of what you're trying to say. The A/N is not an extended story but a note to inform the readers about your story. I'm not suggesting you fix all 16 chapters worth of A/Ns, but to tell you that tbh, the readers would just skim through all the things you're trying to explain to them.

Right, now sorry for the long rant and I hope you don't see this as a hate (tbh idk what this is; a review or a rant). And if you acknowledge this then try to lessen the number of words (paragraphs) in the A/Ns of your other stories (newer ones)/chapters.
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