Reviews for Visceral
UA chapter 1 . 1/1/2014
Love the imagery in this.

It really packs a punch.

Shae
Katelai chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
I absolutely love this story! You have quite a talent and a very unique writing style, cannot wait to read more of your stuff! :)
moonmouse chapter 1 . 3/10/2007
Your writing is very poetic and beautiful. Thanks for the wonderful L/L fics!
thefictionalfreak chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
wow that was great! I love the fight lorelai is like having with herself about her new found relasionship. its great. very realistic. I could so picture all of that going through her head. so great job, i absolutely loved it. and if you havent noticed im like reading all yo gilmore stories.. haha i know im crazy, but what can you do?
Xmaschild chapter 1 . 1/8/2006
I stand in awe. Thank you.
Reluctant Dragon chapter 1 . 1/8/2006
Wow... i loved this piece!

It was so... beautifully dreamlike, and the descriptions were just... AMAZING!

Wonderfulwonderful job!

~RD
Mrs Dionysius O'Gall chapter 1 . 1/8/2006
What an AMAZING story. So erotic, without being graphic, and so true to their Season 2 characters. I espically loved the comparison of Lorelai to a peeled orange, and this "she opens for him immediately, like a flower that only blossoms at night."
FragmentedSandwiches chapter 1 . 1/7/2006
Words cannot express how beautiful this story is. So intense, so wonderfully written. Your words paint a picture so vivid. I am in awe of this story. I can't believe I've never read it before.
Wendy chapter 1 . 9/21/2005
I liked this fanfic, almost against my will. I've never been a fan of this writing style - to me, the focus on the purely physical is just as limiting as a focus on the emotive self. Usually, too, the description of the physical focused my attention on how repulsive the physical world is. Also, I've read stories in which the metaphors become too outlandish, detract attention from the true emotion underlying the physical play. So, I think this is a very difficult style of writing (what bravery), and you had a very difficult task to get me to finish it (what skill).

Also, must give you full marks for writing *this* type of fic for Gilmore girls. So many fans for GG try to write the show. The bad fics are emaciated cotton candy versions; the good fics are what you'd rather see for season finales. You've branched out here, using GG as the starting point for the characters. But more than that, I think this fic could stand alone as a short story.

I felt that the beginning sequence wasn't as successful as the fic becomes after the flashback. Partly, this is because Lorelai doesn't know what she's feeling, or rather she feels many things. But I found that her transitions from anger to despondence to arousal to loneliness were just not capturing my attention. The physicality of her world was 'hard', 'cold', 'warm', 'rough' - but I didn't know what made her think that way or what it meant. Also, I felt that the metaphors in the beginning didn't impact me powerfully; some seemed cliched: 'Tick', 'Heart flaps', 'pregnancy as growing like a tree', 'planting a flag in virgin territory'. Others were confusing, or, at least to me, out of touch with the feeling of the story - circus clowns and Luke's burger flag. I found the latter two humorous and emasculating. However, later on, I liked the cliched 'heart flapping like blanket in the breeze', 'barrel of a gun shooting down a deer', 'hot dark eyes' - so I can't really explain to you why I felt the beginning was not as powerful. But I felt the emotion in the second half, and I didn't in the first.

My favorite bits -1. peeled orange at the end - although it gave me pause, a peeled orange is an interesting, thoughtful, vulnerable, sweet ending to this story, especially with the dimension of Luke being careful with her. There's some 18th or 19th century painting of a peeled orange in a still life - I have no idea where or who, but it's perfectly framed, beautiful, vulnerable, tempting; reminded me of that. 2. - Luke tasting like turkey and Lorelai's reaction to it - so normal, so everyday, but the way you've set up the story, meaning so much precisely because it is everyday, after all that longing. 3. - Luke feeling Lorelai the morning after. The piece is about Lorelai, but it balances so nicely with this tiny glimmer of what Luke is experiencing. Without losing pace or voice, you make it happen, so that the physical experiential world expands to the two of them, not just the one. Okay, enough with the metaphors.

Fraught. Angst. Love. But so much more. Great fic. Keep writing, and consider something apart from the show.

Wendy
SP'sGirl chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
Woderful story. This is one of the best stories I have read. You really have a talent.
unknown chapter 1 . 2/12/2005
This story is so good. You captured the characters so well. I loved the days before they came together and your story is definitely a work that examines all that was implied between Luke and Lorelai before they became an actual couple. Thank you!
brightstarinthenight chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
really good story...you made their characters sound perfect. Hope to read more of your stuff...
danagabrielle chapter 1 . 12/19/2004
Wow. That's all I can say. I'm stunned and YOu are such a great author!
xfscully chapter 1 . 12/18/2004
For the love of God-WOW. I know this was written 2 years ago, but wow. Good title too, Visceral, as my heart flutters and my stomach flips.
Katie chapter 1 . 10/1/2004
Whoa. Really. now see I'm starting verbalising again, good for me. that was really hot. And sweet if you think about it. no really, if it could've just happened like that... I think this is my favourite fanfic ever, so good on you.
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