Reviews for Gorgon
MysticRising chapter 1 . 9/20
I like ilya's attitude, but your forgetting that while the wizarding world is backwards and filled with idiots, they have legit magic. Teleportation, timetravel (the 5th magic I believe), heavens feel (kinda, I mean horcruxes deal with the soul, which is similar to the heavens feel) and so much magic that magi would drool over. It would be better if Ilya said something more like she went to an AU and found no magi, but wizards. Discovering their culture she learns they are pathetic and neglect furthering their magic (like how timeturners are the only time related magic, or why no one seems to work more on time magic).
I think the idea of Ilya ruling the wizarding world has merit, but I think the idea of wizards and magi coexisting to be dumb seeing how different the magic potential is between the two.
Guest chapter 2 . 7/7
One serious criticism I have is that Ilya simply has no way of knowing the things she know about this universe. She calls Dumbledore a hypocrite, manipulator, and a terrible strategist, and mocks the fact that Harry marries Ginny. How is it even remotely possible that she knows these 2 facts? First and foremost, Ilya didn't seem to know much about British wizarding world until she found herself there, so how did she even know about any of this? Second, some of the information would be unavailable even in the future. Even after the war, I seriously doubt that Dumbledore's plans would become public knowledge, nor would Harry and his friends (who are the only ones who'd know about it) badmouth Dumbledore (canon Harry holds him in very high regards even after the war). Furthermore, who the hell would even disseminate information as unimportant and pointless as who Harry Potter married? Sure, it may be a big deal for British wizards, but Ilya isn't a wizard. It'd be as if she somehow knew about the spouse of the previous president of Argentina, as well as their personal past. It makes no sense in the slightest. Third, Ilya was raised in the most sheltered environment imaginable, and constantly experimented upon to improve her capacity as a master and as a lesser grail. She never left the castle until Fuyuki. How in the world would she know about affairs of a completely different society in another country?

All in all, this story leaves me with a terrible impression that the author didn't know how to separate between their own knowledge and opinions from the knowledge and opinions of the main character. It comes across as a clumsy attempt to vent frustrations at the things that the author disliked about the Harry Potter series by using an outsider (Ilya) as a mouthpiece for their opinion. The author could have improved the story so much more by having Ilya actually interact with the wizarding world and form her own opinions in an organic fashion.

For example: Ilya meets Malfoy, gets the spiel on why purebloods are better. Ilya asks about whether pureblood magic is more potent (like w/ multigeneration magi). Hears conflicting opinions. Finds that it's basically complete BS. Ilya finds the discrimination nonsensical.
Hell, even if you have an agenda to bash Dumbledore or Ginny, it's easy to do. Example: Ilya hears about dumbledore's warning about 3rd floor, learns about philosopher's stone, realizes that it's insanely dangerous and irresponsible to keep in a school, and considers Dumbledore a poor headmaster. Another one: Ilya meets Ginny, who is a stuttering wreck around Harry. Ilya considers her behavior to be infatuation and hero worship, which Harry hates. Ilya remarks how dumb it would be for those 2 to end up together.

On a different note, Ilya is a massive hypocrite herself. She points out flaws in Wizarding society with glee, but completely fail to notice that the same thing is present within her own culture.

For example, magi aren't quite as ignorant about technology, they may be even worse in that they knowingly dismiss it. It's one thing to not know much about the power and utility of modern technology, but it's even more moronic to know about it and knowingly dismiss and ignore it. She should know herself how difficult it was for Kiritsugu to convince Acht to get something technological in Einzbern castle. Before Kiritsugu, Einzberns basically lived in the same victorian mindset and technological level. I mean, really, her dad became the grim reaper of magi (and some dead apostles) by figuring out that guns, explosives, and cameras exist. And despite his monstrous effectiveness, apparently no one has decided to incorporate some of his skills and tactics. One of the best enforcers out there (Bazett) mainly uses fists for Root's sake.

Furthermore, idiotic prejudice is pretty dang huge with magi as well. Consider the fact that Asia as a whole (a continent that holds more people than any other, and is economically powerful) is considered a backwater region with nothing of value. This is despite the fact that it is the site of one of the bigger rituals (capable of ending the world or reaching the root) in the world (a site specifically chosen due to its amazing leylines). Furthermore, insanely powerful people have frequently come from the region (esp Japan, b/c of the games. Imagine how many talented magi are being produced by Asia as a whole). Kiritsugu Emiya was considered a boogeyman in the magus community, Aoko is a true magician and also called magical gunner, Touki is a master of puppetry with an obscenely high ranking in clocktower, 2 individuals w/ mystic eyes of death perception (one who has killed 3 dead apostle ancestors including Louvre), a sword incarnation human holder of a reality marble who 1v1s the strongest heroic spirit (something so damn rare that there's been less than 10 people w/ that ability every recorded), tons of individuals with demon heritage including Kouma, an average one that manages to become Zelretch's apprentice, and more. Despite all of this evidence that you really should not ignore the raw talent that seems to arise in the region, magi decide to look down on and ignore (again, knowing ignorance) their eastern colleagues.

Let's talk about massively irresponsible behavior by authority figures. The numerous issues in HP books are well noted, but consider the world of FSN. This is a universe in which there is a contest that allows the winner to make any wish ( wish of the servant if not attempting to reach the root). And the winner is solely determined by who can murder each other more efficiently. The magus association does not even bother to make sure that none of the participants will make a disastrous wish ("I wish only I could reach the root" every magus is shut out from the root). They don't bother even trying to screen the participants, letting the grail choose random schmucks, who for all they know could be a genocidal maniac whose biggest wish is elimination of the human race. What do they do instead? Send 1 representative, who isn't guaranteed to win, let alone be chosen as a master in the slightest and hope for the best. The church technically oversees the contest but blatantly cheats during both the 4th and 5th holy grail war for selfish reasons.

I think that since logical flaws in Harry Potter universe are easy to find and have been pointed out numerous times, the author didn't bother to think about the Nasuverse and see whether those flaws could be applied. Or maybe the author prefers Nasuverse over HP universe, and are willfully blind to some of the flaws of the former universe.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/7
Hey now! Nasuverse has no right to criticize anyone over inbreeding, since Shiki's mystic eyes of death perception is thanks to a staggering amount of incest in the Nanaya line (that almost dying, just like Ryougi). (I mean, by that logic tons of wizards should be going crazy seeing lines everywhere :P)

Also, I think making Ilya the main character makes a lot of sense, since her unique magical characteristic of 'wish granting' allows her to perform magecraft w/o having a perfect understanding of the process (bet that'd piss of Hermione). This would probably even allow her to use (or at least fake) wand-based spells of Harry Potter universe. Plus, her insane number of circuits will allow her to keep performing spells similar to how wizards just cast spells constantly without much fatigue in HP universe. Basically, Shirou (or even Rin) would've stuck out like a sore thumb based on the fact that their magecraft works fundamentally differently, but Ilya can blend in reasonably (despite the hair/eyes)
Guest chapter 7 . 6/24
instantly a favorite, too bad im four years too late
thundercats2014 chapter 7 . 4/18
This is very well written and i would love to know if there is a chance it will be continued or if the interest has been lost.
JdkLeBleau728 chapter 7 . 3/2
Excuse me for the language, but FUCK! I started reading and only realized this was last updated years ago had me cursing a bit. Would love to read this some more, thank you for publishing this anyway.
Spartan3909 chapter 7 . 2/6
Thanks for the chapters, hope you continue this someday _.
sondowth chapter 7 . 1/17
Please update soon
Ryoji Mochizuki chapter 7 . 11/30/2018
huh. interesting.
BorderLand chapter 6 . 9/15/2018
Well Harry is lucky. He got the fathers blesing and so one to train him.
Onishin Tsukitenshi chapter 7 . 8/17/2018
Please update soon.
Ash0011 chapter 7 . 5/28/2018
this is so much better than I expected, I hope you resume updating at some point
Guestinator chapter 3 . 5/16/2018
I guess this is another in the countless stories, every single one you have written so far, that bashes HP pretty much as a whole? And somehow makes any other crossover to it look divine by comparison?

I'll be seeing my way out but I really would like to see even just one story where you don't do that very old cliche. You do it ever time after all which just makes it harder to get into any of them.

You see your author name and just know "This will bash HP. Harry (Or female self) will be far different and shining. Also any and all crossovers will show that other one to be far and away better."

If you hate HP so much why do you write it at all? Unless you just enjoy bashing a franchise so much you spent years and probably well over a million words doing so obsessively.. You do you in the end but if you could admit that it would be nice.

You also might want to look into why that above is... Just saying.
Guestinator chapter 2 . 5/16/2018
Oh and private schools in Britain cost 6k-24k dollars or so. The cost that she mentioned about being able to go to one in the first chapter is.. Insane. Probably didn't think to research it is all but still a problem that should be fixed when you have a chance.

Also for being in the past and able to change things she is very.. Dumb. She hasn't checked if her counterpart exists, what has become of her parents or anything like that. She also is hiding at all so word should reach certain ears very quickly along with the double checks to make sure she is telling the truth.

Also if she truly believed what she said about how bad their section of magically schooling is why is she bothering to go? It can't be to hide as she is telling all her name and bragging, yes bragging.

It can't be to learn as she is so much better than what they can teach yes? Okay I know it is mostly a hand wave to get her there but there really should be an actual solid reason for her yet there isn't.
Guestinator chapter 1 . 5/16/2018
Interesting story but I really hope you can explain for F/S can exist with the Clocktower and all of that within HP without it ever being so much as mentioned in either. You would think Tom would at least debate on using the Grail after all.

Still over looking that massive problem that nearly every author of a crossover has and never deals with it is still an interesting story so far.
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