Reviews for Lily Potter and the Witches of Salem
onlytoask chapter 2 . 11/20/2018
I'm excited for this. I hope it gets kinky.
Qarz chapter 1 . 10/14/2018
There are so many things that make no sense in this story that I can't keep reading.
Bad Wolf chapter 12 . 9/25/2018
I didn't think the chapter was too weird as you worried about in your A/N. If this story were real life, I would change mine regularly just because I prefer mine relatively small but would sometimes like bigger for a bit of occasional fun.

What did make me question your sanity (or perhaps gender) was the idea of the girls keeping their high heels on while naked, especially those sitting crosslegged in the pillow pit. I don't care if there is a charm to make the heels more comfortable and steady etc... sitting crosslegged in such heels is begging for a visit tot he hospital wing. I admit that I am a little biased against heels... I hate both wearing them and looking at them, but if you ever tried sitting like that in them, you would prefer total nudity to naked in heels as well.

I am enjoying this story far too much lol. Any idea that it's too late for me to suggest obviously but I still hope to see, is a series of outdoor classes for that class. Perhaps one in a forest clearing, another in a lake, and still another at night, possibly during a thunderstorm where the lightning illuminating them and the rain cascading off them. The energy of the magic combined with the energy of the storm could have some interesting effects too.
Bad Wolf chapter 9 . 9/23/2018
the only thing I didn't like about this chapter was the severity of the whipping. I feel the things i read and I don't like real such as a proper whip cracking open skin.

On the other hand... I REALLY liked the "Mistress of Death." Don't get me wrong.. I like shy and sub Lily with Hermione, but Mistress of Death is what I have been waiting to see when it comes to confrontations... and that.. that's what I'm talking about! I also really liked Hermione in the would-be rescue messing those bitches up.
Bad Wolf chapter 5 . 9/23/2018
I know it's too late to give my suggestions... but I hope to see Lily/Hermione emotionally committed to each other but physically open to sharing themselves with others.

There are a few things I haven't liked so far tho. Lily being such a slacker is one of them. I get that she never took Arithmancy but Hermione letting her outright copy her work seems OOC even for such an AU/OOC story. I would like to see her actually work at learning and all the sexiness be something she struggles with and sometimes falls completely into distraction, but she still tries. Her trying to get Ginny to completely make the potion for her just makes me think "dumb blonde valley girl" and regardless of how AU this is... Lily... the "Harry Potter character" would never be like that I can't imagine. Harry just wanted to be normal... Lily seems to just want to be a bimbo.

The other thing I didn't like was the defense class. I understand downplaying her skills to some degree... but I also don't think that she wouldn't take any shit like that. I would think that she would want to make a statement right off for people not to mess with her because she just wants to get her last year over with and doesn't want anyone messing with Hermione either. At the very least, I would have expected her to slam out a shield that could stop the teacher's spell. Mainly tho, I don't think you quite grasp the concept of a duel. It's not just a spell each way and done. Where was the dodging and counter-attacks and shields? She's already taken down the dork lord... no real point in making people think it was a fluke. I understand wanting to be underestimated in times of war, but the war is over so what's the point?

I bring up those two points because you can still have some seriousness in a fluffy/lemony story. I think that a bit of added seriousness would actually more justify the lemons honestly. But it's still a really interesting story so far and I really hope that Lily's talent for sex magic is at least as impressive as canon Harry's talent for defense.
Selonianth chapter 8 . 5/26/2018
So... No. This... doesn't work. Sectumsempra requires a very specific counter-curse to heal, one none of these women would know, so knocking out Lily would have killed her... Plus that it creates a rather deep, debilitating wound means Rosalie isn't gonna be casting *any* spells due to probably coughing up blood.

Yea yea, porn logic whatever. Use something that makes sense.

Plus... no, this doesn't portray Lily as strong in any way. She gets toyed with by someone with one hand metaphorically behind her back, and then uses a curse she hates using only for it to not have it's one normal effect and is knocked out not by the hangers ons, but by the person who should by all rights be gasping in desperate pain.
Guest chapter 1 . 3/11/2018
DontMindMe chapter 8 . 2/17/2018
I was really enjoying this story but the way Lilly kepted being out classed in dada with the death stick. Was just to much. Thanks anyway.
RWIW chapter 65 . 2/3/2018
I'm laughing my ass off, but also intrigued. Actual Carmilla/Laura? THAT'S an insanely rare ship that deserves more love. Maybe I should actually read this fic. I've been put off by the pure schoolgirl smut, but I can make an exception for the original lesbian vampire...
RerinPlay chapter 1 . 1/4/2018
sorry whoever wrote this I got to the fourth chapter I think it'd be better if it was through Hogwarts and it didn't have the scariness too much sex pretty much I don't know I just I can't read this I'm sorry to whoever wrote this some people just can't get through this kind of stuff that's weird I don't know sorry
N7 sniper chapter 8 . 12/1/2017
can you write a story like this about femharry/Hermione through Hogwarts
crossfire922 chapter 8 . 10/24/2017
...Sectumsempra is not healable. It's a dark curse. Hence they should never have stood up.
Simianpower chapter 1 . 10/19/2017
"Boys are the worst. I always hated them." ... Hermione giggled again. ...
"Girl's schools always have a ton of girlcrushes flying around and I got a feeling a lot of them will be aimed at you."

Umm... this reads like it was written by an airhead tween who loves shojo anime and only ever saw one or two of the Potter movies. The dialog is so vapid! The characters are so wildly OOC that the only thing they have in common with canon is the names... and not always even that. I don't care how long this is, I don't care that it's finished, if I can't even get past the first TENTH of a chapter without a headdesk I know this won't be for me.
Arya970 chapter 9 . 9/24/2017
This was one awesome chapter.
Infinity128 chapter 2 . 7/24/2017
ok..2 chaps down..but I feel the story is too sexual?
I looks like a whole of lesbos are put at one place.
anyways..I like the references to actual hp series so far..
surprising that hermione doesn't already knkw much about the school
guessing that dominique lady would be like snape.. rosalie has similarities to the roaslie from twilight
let me read on..hopefully it's worth the time
8,092 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 12 .. Last Next »