|Reviews for Anne's Chance at Love|
| uss71832 chapter 7 . 1/6/2016
Im glad Vince is getting another chance.
| uss71832 chapter 6 . 12/25/2015
Thaks for your kind compliment! Boy i wouldn't want to be in the bad side of "the old gang."
| uss71832 chapter 5 . 12/13/2015
Very sweet and no, it's not rushed. When you find the right person, it doesn't take that long and your own soul knows its right.
| Mac-Man chapter 3 . 11/27/2015
Good to see you uploaded another chapter of story and continued with the development of the relationship between Ann and Joe. Liked the part where Ann talks to Callie which made me think and wonder if this story takes place into the Swat Kittens universe, maybe or maybe not who knows.
I'm liking how your getting into more of Joe's backstory and the tear part that came out of Joe because it shows that he affected him. It was also good how Ann acknowledge how sudden the relationship is going as they already told each other they love each other after meeting him within the week.
Looking forward to seeing more.
| Mac-Man chapter 2 . 11/22/2015
Hey you might have seen a post of me respond to your Author's note but please disregard that one as I wasn't finished writing it and had accidently submitted it, thank you.
But as I was saying I was a bit surprised to see you respond to me(or others) by doing a author's note but understand that I knew you were going to go into detail with the relationship as the story continued. It just that in the first chapter Joe just seemed in my eyes that he was a guy who just wanted to get in bed with she-kats (or in this case Ann). Maybe it was just me but I didn't see Joe's past affect him much in this chapter.
I know your going to go into detail with this story and I don't want to think that I hate the story or anything like that. I'm looking forward to more of this because it seem interesting but it just that there were some things I noticed, that all.
| Mac-Man chapter 2 . 11/22/2015
They wanted to say that I was a bit surprised to see you respond to what me(or others) said about the first chapter. I understand the banter and I knew you were going to go into detail in the relationship as the story moves on starting with the next just that the first chapter seems to me that he looked like a character who want to just go to bed with her.
Maybe it just me but the way I see it, Joe didn't show want to
| AjaxRota chapter 1 . 11/24/2015
I've been meaning to read SWAT Kittens, but it's almost 400,000 words and a really daunting task! I'll get to it though, I promise!
Then this came along, something nice and easy to digest, something that could give me a feel for your writing.
First things first, I did enjoy this piece. I don't think it was rushed at all; it's a once-off like you said, and the narrative is supposed to flow a bit quicker. I liked your characters and I liked the way you portrayed Ann Gora. Bravo!
I feel I should mention, however, that something did stick out for me in this story. Technically, it's fairly well accomplished, so no complaints there, but I did feel that certain parts of the text were rather choppy, very stop-start, so to speak. It lacked 'flow'. I'll give you a small example. In your first paragraph, you've written:
He yelled, "Fixer, I need your services."
Now, there is technically, nothing wrong with this at all, but it doesn't really flow all that well as a piece of dialogue. In this case, it would sound far better written as:
"Fixer!" he yelled, "I need your services."
That's just a single example (bear in mind, I'm rubbish at dialogue, so I might be talking complete crap here!), but it's that sort of small thing that stops what is a good piece from being a great one.
With all that said, the most important thing, I feel, is that a piece is enjoyable to read, which this was. You've clearly got some talent, and I'm looking forward to reading SWAT Kittens.
| Mac-Man chapter 1 . 11/21/2015
Good story through a few things about this story that need to said:
I don't think that this story works as a one shot honestly and I'm glad to hear that more chapters will be happening but I think that the relationship went too fast if you ask me. Fixer just met Anne and he is already willing to go straight from a life of for her? I'm sorry but it just doesn't seem believable to me. Maybe give the relationship some time and then I would believe that.
As for the character of Fixer, to me he seems like the type of person who willing to say nice things just to get in bed with She-kats. The backstory is good to add through considering what he went through it's seems to me that he didn't show it in this story while talking to Ann or seem to brother his personally. I'm interested however as to the detail of how he became a gangster and why.
Maybe It's me but with all that being said I'm sure you know what your doing considering the other story (Swat Kittens) that you written being good. I sure all that what I typed here is going to be pointless once you write up more of the story and fix it up. Just wanted to give some constructive criticism that is all.