|Reviews for Three Men And A Little Lady|
| Raven Evans-Black chapter 10 . 2/21
really loved it needs a sequel
| sora1shiro chapter 2 . 1/30
I like the story you have going on here, but this is almost painful to read. One thing I would suggest is using quotation marks surrounding dialogue, because what you have going on it's very confusing. At first, I thought they were just thinking, because that's usually what this technique is used for. Secondly, your story has almost nothing but dialogue. While lots of dialogue adds a sense of realism to a written work, there needs to be some sort of balance. Dialogue tags, blocking, and descriptions would do you good, and would most likely bulk up the word count as well. And lastly, the lack of internal monologue. While this is not necessarily required in a story written in the third person perspective, it's recommended to both establish who your protagonist is and how they think, and to add depth to their actions. When the protagonist is confused, the reader is confused; When the protagonist is fearful, so are the readers, et cetera. Having insight to a character's thoughts, reasonings and emotions allows the reader to integrate themselves as part of the story, and overall makes things more interesting. You have the skeleton of a story going here, but it's doesn't seem complete without anything to fill out in. I'm sorry for nitpicking your work, but I hope my review helps you.
| Xyori Nadeshiko chapter 10 . 1/22
| MissKyuubi chapter 10 . 1/21
This was brilliant! So original as well I've never read a story like this before :D I've read about 4-5 of your stories and I cannot wait to read them all!
| Netchka chapter 10 . 1/18
Good story. Poor Harry trying to keep the idea, that he was the same age as Ron and Hermione, sounds like it was quite hard at times. Marisol sounds like she's adorable.
| Guest chapter 10 . 1/8
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing this with us :)
| SB chapter 10 . 10/12/2016
I liked the idea of Harry being older and a seer. I liked imagining Harry, Severus and Albus working behind the scenes to plan the war. I loved Harry and Severus and their family. It's too bad that Hermione and the Weasleys were so crazy, because I would have liked the story to be longer!
| Mother Of Basilisks chapter 10 . 5/12/2016
The idea was good but Harry and Marisol were Mary Sue, they were both too powerful and amazing...would have preferred some flaws. Severus didn't seem to do anything for himself. Would like to have known where George was, he was mentioned once or twice but never in detail. Seemed rushed with no real conflict also, Harrys visions taking care of problems before they even started. Great writing but the story itself left something to be desired. Thank you for writing. Keep up the good work.
| Saissa chapter 10 . 4/30/2016
Interesting story. I feel the ending was somewhat rushed. I would not have minded waiting until Neville and Draco got together and they all become one big happy family. Also what will happen to Hermione? Did she get Azkaban or the Kiss for the part she played?
Will there be a sequel?
Because this deserves a sequel!
| Azrael Jinsei chapter 10 . 4/28/2016
Thank you for writing this
| tigerlily124 chapter 10 . 3/5/2016
Good job! I found the betrayal by Harry's friends shocking, but I imagine it was supposed to be. Thank you for the story!
| mfaerie32 chapter 10 . 2/28/2016
I really wanted to like this story. It had an awesome premise. But there was no real conflict, the good guys knew what the bad guys were up to. No one got hurt but the bad guys. Now there's a charm they're creating to cure Neville's parents.
Everything was wrapped in a neat little bow. And there's NO way that Harry could have been there when Neville's parents were taken. That happened right after voldys downfall which would have made harry 4 or 5, and there's no way I'm going to believe that a toddler had the thought or power to shield against a death eater.
It was well written, had good grammar, and flowed smoothly. But other than that, the whole story came off like a Mary Sue.
| mfaerie32 chapter 7 . 2/28/2016
I'm sad that Hermione is evil.
You made the baby perfect? She can't even form full proper sentences but she can perform all first year spells? On the first try no less? This is getting a bit more and more unbelievable.
| mfaerie32 chapter 6 . 2/28/2016
You've made Harry a Mary Sue...well, really a Gary Stu since he's a boy. More powerful than Merlin? Also a Seer? A little much..but I'm still with the story.
Who needs 3 living rooms?
| mfaerie32 chapter 2 . 2/28/2016
You've almost made this story too unbelievable..too perfect. And they got married when he was only 16?