Nice fic - really makes a juicy drama-tragedy out of a crack ship. :) The sex scenes were SAUCY even with the limits you imposed on the description, :-)- and I do think I got some of the symbolism in them. :) I love the shift in tone where this fic goes from mild smut to a harrowing tragedy, that shift in tone. :) :)

Man, it was painful seeing Pyrrha being tortured like that when she was jealous of Jaune and Cinder's relationship, and when she walked in on them on the rooftop. At the same time, part of me STILL managed to feel sadistically indulgent about the angst! Although speaking of the rooftop sex scene where Cinder rubbed it in Pyrrha's face, I think you should've cut the detail where Pyrrha met Cinder's gaze and knew Cinder was aware of her presence - I can believe Pyrrha forgiving Cinder later if Pyrrha thought she'd just stumbled on Cinder and Jaune at the wrong time and Cinder hadn't noticed her, but I can't imagine even a forgiving person letting go of being deliberately put through something like that unless there was a lot of incentive for forgiveness.

You conveyed the sadness and depression PALPABLY when Cinder and Jaune got back together and it still felt truly hopeless. You actually managed to make me tear up at Cinder's death (Cinder Fall, of all people!), especially when she had her Bad Wolf Bay moment of not getting to tell Jaune "I love you," and my tears continued into the final chapter. Man, making me feel this much for Cinder? In the 'Final Space' fandom I'd call that "pulling a Clarence," and in the context of Unicorn of War's incredible RWBY Volume 8 Rewrite on You tube, I'd call that pulling a Jacques.

I was genuinely blindsided by Jaune revealing that he already knew about Pyrrha's feelings. And a nice stroke of wit with the last few scenes after Cinder's death TECHNICALLY still holding semi-true to the single-POV mould, with a bit of Cinder still experiencing things through Pyrrha's POV when the Fall Maiden spirit goes to Pyrrha. :) I also think you did a good job of ensuring this fic could still satisfy the Arkos shippers and Pyrrha fans (the non-rabid ones that is), by having Pyrrha be the one who kills Cinder at the end and survives the fall of Beacon in a form of role-swap and a form of meta-payback for Pyrrha's canon death. :)

I'd also like to say, I'm sorry to hear about your poor health, and I'm sorry for how dirty you've been done because of the current state of the UK's healthcare. :( I wish you a good recovery and good luck with your Thursday event.

Estuvo increible. Gracias por tal obra a ti y cualquiera que te ayudo.

The fact that you managed to tell this good a story in this many chapters is wild

Incredible story, heartbreaking ending, but an amazing one. Well done.

I love this story. It made me sad.

ck

Ngl that ending was shit.

-Hasta el momento la historia mas sentimental, calurosa, apasionante y a pesar de las peleas y el drama la mas pacifica, es corta como debería ser después de todo es una historia de ceniza el personaje es calculador, arrogante, directo, sin mencionar su característico sed de poder o su satisfacción para controlar a los ilusos que viven sus vidas en la ignorancia mientras que los 2 seres mas antiguos juegan sus juegos detrás de escena.
-Siempre me gusto el personaje de ceniza, aunque se siente que le falta algo al personaje para funcionar en el canon una ambición, una meta, un objetivo, tu mi amigo lograste lo que profesionales nunca lograran ni teniendo todo los recursos y tiempo a mano, darle humanidad a un personajes, volver lo ficticio real dándole mas que viva algo mas importante y esencial.
Coeur AlAran desde mi mayor respeto y admiración como lector me has maravillado y encantando una vez mas con los escritores y sus reseñas, me siento como si fuera la primeras que leí algo con tanto esfuerzo y cariño considérame como un nuevo seguidor tuyo ya van varias historias que me han fascinado y encantado espero que mi apoyo en patreon sea suficiente para apoyarte con cariño X-kau

.0

WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if
you only looked at the word warning! Once there was
a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and
she lives in a mental hospital, because she killed her
mom and dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government
decided that the best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as
possible but it went wrong the machine they were
using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for
hours until she died. Now every week on the day of
her death she returns to the person that read this
letter, on a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps
into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to
ten other pictures on the site, and she will haunt
someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake,
apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten
comments in the next ten minutes you will have the
best day of your life tomorrow:

I now have a Black hole for a heart.

9/10
Wow that was good, it really couldn't have ended any other way. A nice take on the character and how things might've been different.

Great story, thank you for sharing this!

pretty good.

Awesome