|Reviews for Brendan's Journey|
| Mor33gan chapter 48 . 11/18
Hey, sorry it took so long for me to review this. I hadn't had much time until now. Anyway, as always you write some great battles and the one between Brendan and Wes was awesome! I can only imagine how the elite four and champion battles will be. This was also a good chapter to learn more about Wes. I'm excited for the next chapters!
| BraviaryScout chapter 48 . 11/11
That's some intense battling there j, you've made Wally's match against Justin a slugfest with at least both sides having the momentum.
Brendan's fight with Wes was the highlight. Love the double battle teamwork ideas and Wes maximizing his pokemon's strengths and always having a trick or two up his sleeve. That matchup between Gwen and Saikou was awesome and I could tell you were saving that up for the final showdown.
The conversation between May and Caroline had me off guard for just a moment. I'm used to seeing them as mother and daughter...not future in-laws. I blame anime for that :P
But I could definitely see some parallel for Gwen being that pokemon companion to the eventual mini-Maple that I imagine will come very soon.
Awesome work j. Loved the nods to Orre, Alola, Unova and Johto in here. Really shows that all the regions of the world are connected.
| Tony Anderson chapter 48 . 11/10
Great job. I loved the battle between Wes and Brendan. Very amazing.
| Phoenix chapter 25 . 10/28
Oh Arceus, please tell me that's not going to become a regular thing! Gwen pleaded.
Yes it is Gwen this is payback for all the teasing and 4th wall breaking.
| Mor33gan chapter 47 . 10/27
Nice chapter. The battle was a very fun read, although there have been much more intense ones throughout this story. It's not a bad battle, but I was anticipating something a bit longer and intense, especially for the start of the league tournaments. I'm sure the next battles will be even better though
Also I do agree with rylek on the whole Francis bully thing. You've already established Brendan as someone who probably wouldn't have a bully. He's challenged both team aqua and magma in the past, and he's even had fist fights with some of their members, so it's hard to believe Brendan wouldn't step up to a bully in his not so distant youth. I personally think if you wanted to have Brendan face a somewhat arrogant and douchey character, you should have made Francis perhaps some kind of hot blooded rival, someone who probably would have given Brendan trouble in the past, but not bully him since you've already established Brendan as someone who doesn't get bullied. You've got to be consistent.
Either way I enjoyed this chapter and I do look forward to the next chapter!
| BraviaryScout chapter 47 . 10/27
So you're now headed into the League. We've got a Hunger Games esque game that pits everyone in a free for all.
And Brendan comes to face an old bully and puts a boot in his ass easily with just Gwen. I had no idea he was bullied in high school though and he never mentioned or thought about Francis. With the aftermath of the battle though; I'm surprised he didn't rub salt into the wound after winning because this would've been a perfect opportunity.
Interesting Zinnia cameo though. With her being introduced formally this early on, I'm curious to see how you're going to work her into the Delta Episode...if at all.
Anyways, solid chapter for the most part.
| Phoenix chapter 12 . 10/26
Here's something break
| rylek196 chapter 47 . 10/26
Hoo, boy... This is probably gonna be the harshest review I've given this story yet. Brace yourself, and know that this hurts me more than it will you.
Okay, that opening scene with Zinnia. I admit, I was nervous waaaay back in the Petalburg Woods chapter when Zinnia didn't show up, and it seems that nervousness was justified. From now on, I'll refer to the Zinnia scene of this chapter as 'ONE'. By 'ONE', I mean, you had ONE job! Did our previous PM conversations just go in one ear and out the other? Did you forget? Zinnia wasn't a mother. She had no children. Aster was the previous Lore Keeper that died in some unknown incident, as revealed by the manga. And honestly? That idea I had for Zinnia how should act around Brendan? Yeah, ya might as well scrap it, because it's now gonna go from 'funny-in-an-awkward-way comic relief' to '*really fucking creepy*'.
Don't even get me fucking started on the Shitty Games quote. I fucking hate that book, and just because I said yes to your idea of having a battle royale-type thing in Victory Road (which I now regret immensely, by the way), doesn't mean you have to fucking quote it!
Also, the 'Brendan meets his childhood bully again' thing came out of absolutely nowhere. We both know Brendan's this very muscular guy in this story, and while wasn't always like that, if he's eighteen in this, he was undoubtedly working out like crazy in high school. The knock-on effect of this simple deduction is that you could not pay me to believe he was bullied in high school. And calling the bully Francis? Really? How much more cliche can you get for a bully name?
I know this was a pretty brutal teardown, but I just can't ignore the glaring flaws. I'm now genuinely worried for the Delta Episode, and I'm questioning whether you should even bother with it. Hopefully next chapter will be better.
| Tony Anderson chapter 47 . 10/26
Great job. I liked how you're doing the tournament, it's interesting. Also interesting is that Wes from Pokemon Colosseum is in it, too. Nicely done, and I'll look forward to next time.
| The Fell Dragonite chapter 47 . 10/25
Okay, so I spotted three references that made me laugh quite a bit:
"Time out, time right the hell out!" - Perfect Cell, DBZA
"Just remember, I gave you an out." - Kirito, SAOA
And the obvious one that Gwen did for me.
...I think Gwen and I would be great friends.
| BraviaryScout chapter 46 . 10/24
I basically said everything through our conversations and rylek covered the rest. Congrats on reaching the two year mark. Wish I had picked this up earlier, but I’m glad I did regardless.
Glad to see that Chaz got what he deserved for cheating. Way to rub salt into that wound.
It was a pretty epic showdown between May and Lisia. Glad to see the prodigy gets the win and makes the mentor proud.
We’re on to the League now and will see how Brendan fares in his own competition!
Update soon bro.
| rylek196 chapter 46 . 10/22
I'm really running out of things to say for these reviews... Good thing it's almost over, otherwise I'd be beating the dead horse of praise into the dust forever. As for finishing this story by its two-year anniversary... I wouldn't be getting my hopes up, if I was you. Methinks the Delta Episode will prevent that from happening.
Moving onto the actual review, it was good to see Chaz got his deserved comeuppance for what he did. (Though I have to say- and this has nothing to do with the review- he really didn't strike me as particularly conniving in the game. Dumb, full of himself, and obviously desperate to get in Lisia's pants, yes, but not really a 'do-whatever-it-takes-to-win' type).
The final battle between May and Lisia was good and felt climactic, but there was a bit too much order shouting- though, I suppose it's justified here. It's a contest after all, the judges have to know what the moves being used are, so I'm torn on whether to truly critique it or not. Eh, 50/50 split, I guess. However, the (second) proposal was really cute. Count me among those wishing these two a happy life together. Even if they don't exist and are just characters in a story. ;P
| Mor33gan chapter 46 . 10/22
Well May won!
Although was there any doubt? It's been building up for a while now, and what was fun to read May take on Grace and Lisia. The battles were intense, except for poor Chaz. I kinda feel bad for him, but he did have it coming. I especially enjoyed the battle between Lisia and May. That one felt particularly intense, as it should be since it was for the position of top coordinator.
I also got a chuckle picturing Grace doing the z-move dance in front of all those people.
Now it's almost time for the league, can't wait!
| Tony Anderson chapter 46 . 10/22
This was such an amazing chapter. It was just amazing for me. You did really well.
| Morrosa chapter 11 . 10/19
you are awesome!