|Reviews for Once Upon a Time on Hellaween|
| Hithilion chapter 13 . 2/5
Sorry, but this story wasn't really mine.
It feels like you are just pulling artifical and unlogical drama/suspense, which feels hollow and forced. The scenes are written as if you are trying to copy the game. There are parts where you are changing between the style of a novel and that of a gamescript...
I was really hoping to see something continuing the first story and I have absolutely no idea why you went this way. I am a little disappointed.
Don't misunderstand me, there are some great parts in it, which I totally liked and the writing itself is good but the story as a whole feels... hmm... well it feels somehow "fake".
Still thanks for the story and the work you put into it. I can only emphasize that you have truly improved with time. "Executive Rewind" and this are far from each other...
With best regards
| StevoCPP chapter 13 . 11/16/2016
This story is a cool sequel to your previous work Obscura. It actually almost feels tragic with the return to Blackwell Academy, instead of Seattle. The joy of time travel...
The writing is an improvement over Obscura and more aligned with Ships in the Nights. The story does have some good cliff-hanging as the central plot slowly reveals itself.
There were a lot of emotions being built up on both Max and Chloe. Most of it end up being misinterpretation and miscommunication on both parts. When the reveal of Julia and her interactions with Max is when the story begins propelling off. Towards the end, Max basically becomes a Time Sage, saving the town with new power, which she abused earlier on in the story, and used very frequently in the finale.
Vic and Astral Form Vic is a real treat. I really dug her in Obscura, and I liked her even more in this one. The description of the earthquake and tornado is pretty neat. As well, as some additional descriptions on it during the epilogue. The wedding is also well done too. A nice perfect length with some mushiness to conclude the story.
Overall, it's a good story with some very neat scenes with it. I'm curious to see the sequel now. And how Max is handling all of this.
| StevoCPP chapter 1 . 10/23/2016
Reading and writing this on October 22. Good starting chapter. I'm hyped for Vicky like in Obscura. And what's in store for our couple.
| minutmaidman chapter 13 . 9/2/2016
Wow, having read your two fics back to back, I must say, you've improved so much overall!
Very entertaining, provides philosophical questions (whole sara thing, spooky unknown), a few ends not ties yet for a possible sequel... Compared to your first fic, massive progress.
Hopefully you still have that writing spirit in you, I know that this stuff can burn so suddenly...
So yeah, great things ahead!
| Rinzler chapter 13 . 7/24/2016
| Rinzler chapter 4 . 7/24/2016
This is making me anxious..
| Rinzler chapter 1 . 7/24/2016
I just finished obscura. And i just have one thing to say. Polyamory X) at least thats what im hoping for haha. Loving the story
| Bill Kerman chapter 13 . 6/8/2016
Great story, I enjoyed reading all the chapters.
You got me really curious about our Blues Devil's racing background..
Take your time and have a nice summer, too.
| RyanLIS chapter 13 . 6/6/2016
This was amazing! Sad that it's over but it was an awesome read.
| StrangerBeliever chapter 13 . 6/4/2016
Great story! And I glad that threre will be the third part!))
| darquan0 chapter 13 . 6/4/2016
Chloe is participating in races... that might not end good.
Anyway, thanks for the whole story!
You did kill Chloe once in it. You threatened three times, but only did once. And she was still alive at the end.
Yes, you are able to keep up suspense. And your writing is good.
I really enjoyed both of your stories.
| Grim T Reaper chapter 13 . 6/3/2016
This was a nice way to tie it all up, and I see you went for a SW themed wedding, Lyta Halifax did the same thing in "Grande Dame"
Heh, yeah, I'd actually like to see how that session with the pshrink went down, since she can't rewind and take it back if it goes wrong. :P
| StrangerBeliever chapter 12 . 5/30/2016
Great story! Good job!
| Grim T Reaper chapter 12 . 5/29/2016
This was a good chapter, and it kinda fits that David was there to see what Max did (even if he doesn't fully understand it)
You're right, that song totally would have fit Max in this chapter, unfortunately, yes, it would have been very cheesy to use.
| darquan0 chapter 12 . 5/28/2016
Is this the end of the story?... awwww, this is actually sad.
This was one of the great stories I enjoyed "waiting for MOAR".
Anyway, what Max did was just pulling impossible. Once again. And I guess she will again if she has to. As usual. To save Chloe first and everyone she cares about then...
Great story! I loved both parts!