|Reviews for Giving From The Heart|
| icantdeletethisaccountargh chapter 1 . 11/8/2004
AH PLEASE UPDATE
IF YOU PLAN ON ADDING ANYTHING
THIS STORY IS SO KAWAII
I LOVE IT
PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE UPDATE
ARIGATO IF YOU DO
| pomegranateflower chapter 1 . 11/1/2003
That was a wonderful story. You are a fabulous and talented writer. I esspecially love how everything was so IC and so 'THEM'.
| accela chapter 1 . 1/9/2003
That was really sweet. _ Your portrayals of Kagome and Inuyasha were perfect. This would be a great fic...if you didn't use all of that Japanese! I can speak Japanese and each and every one of the correct words were still distracting (let alone the incorrect ones - see below). I can't imagine what it must be like for someone who doesn't know what any of those mean...
BUT...if you must use Japanese, let me give you a few corrections:
1) There are a number of ways to say "mother" and "Okaa" is half right, but it is always used with the "-san" honorific. So Souta would say "Okaa-san" rather than just "Okaa".
2) "Sou" does not exactly mean "So". The word you should use is probably "Ja".
3) "saru" means monkey, making "Onegai saru" "wish monkey" _ "Dete kure" would be "Please leave".
4) "Nani sore wa?" is grammatically incorrect. The correct way to say that is "Sore wa nani?". However, Inuyasha would probably say "Nani, sore?", a less formal, more colloquial phrase.
5) "Sore boushi" is also grammatically incorrect. You cannot use "Sore" with a noun in that way. You have to use "Sono" instead: "Sono boushi".
6) The past form of "wasureru" (to forget) is "wasureta".
7) There are two problems with "Youkai desu?" First, it cannot be a question. To make "Youkai desu" a question, you add "ka" at the end: "Youkai desu ka?" Second, that sentence is too polite. Inuyasha would say simply "Youkai?", with rising intonation at the end.
8) Finally, "Hansamu" is not a native Japanese word - it is how Japanese people say "Handsome". So, using it in an English fanfic is more than a little rediculous. If you must use a Japanese word, use either "kirei" (pretty, nice, clean) or "kakkoi" (handsome - more masculine).
Sorry for the length of this review. I would've e-mailed these corrections, but I fear others will read your fic and I'd hate to see dozens of others misusing Japanese the same way _;;;
| Enlapaz chapter 1 . 1/8/2003
This is really cute *wipes tears from eyes and smiles* Keep it up. Your on my favorites list.
| gohansfan chapter 1 . 1/8/2003
That was sweet. I hope you continue this!