i don't get it, the whole concept of the story was that the first two of his servants where preventing him from becoming a monster and somewhere along the line you made them encourage him to become a monster or?

Choke on it you fat slob, you too Ron I'm sure he'll become Orion's lapdog soon!

Fuck you dumb-old-whore!

You should really continue this version its amazing! I reaaly love the story from the start to the end i couldnt stop binge reading it! I wish you luck in your future project and hope to see new chapter in the future!

I personally like the this version better than the new one

Man fuck you cunt

I realize this review is years late to being practical but I still feel the need to review either way on what I see.

I think where it all went wrong was the absolutely jarring paradigm shift you did in the nature of the story and the protagonist. all the way up to Harry sacrificing himself to ensure Angra Manyu doesn't possess him Harry had been functionally heroic.

there was no guarantee Sakura would become family so there was no reason he would continue to bare the pain of the worm pit for her which is a decidedly HEROIC and SELFLESS action than netted him more than his current lawful evil character. it could even be argued this isn't even the same character that we fell in love with during the first 10 chapters.

I hope in the rewrite you do something about EMIYA. there's no way in he'll counter guardian EMIYA would tolerate this lawful evil that Harry does in this fic because it's actually dragged innocent third parties into the chaos. innocent being used loosely in lesser terms of being morally good and more in line with being fundamentally uninvolved in the greater game at play.

I don't think I'll be reading the rewrite despite this. my reading preferences and the fact I'm admittedly rather open to the emotional turmoil fics and characters of darker nature's cause me have rather negative effects on my mood and view of humanity.

I rather loved the beginning I'll admit. which is why I read so long. I even tolerated the darker notations near the end of this fics version because despite what I say I can't deny I feel a healthy amount of satisfaction. in seeing bad people getting their fair share of bad draws in life.

I like dark heroes but if at any point they cross the line and lose the heroic aspect of themselves I liked, I can't help it. I'll never understand why people like watching evil characters in any capacity. even in technical terms EVIL is still used in their name and the feelings those characters invoke is dark.

so I stop here. but I do hope this fic isn't dead. it had quite a few good ideas in it and as an avid lover of fanfiction I hope this fic's new version gets the live it deserves from people.

Anyone else get a Dumbledore/McGonagall vibe from Ozpin/Goodwitch?
So I was re-watching all of RWBY today and I couldn't help but notice the similarities between the characters. Ozpin has a very all knowing feel to him, always knows what is going on and feels he has to protect the children from the war even though we know they can handle themselves fairly well. I also get the feeling that he himself will only step in when things get really bad.

As for the Goodwitch and McGonagall comparison, they both have that very stern exterior but you can almost feel how much they actually care. I don't know maybe I am just grasping at straws here.

My Opinion on where Ozpin stands

Time and time again I've seen people be divisive about Ozpin - Either he's some monster manipulating people, or he's a goody two shoes and all his actions are justified.

Personally, I believe the following:

Ozpin has years of knowledge behind him. He has seen life pass and has no qualms about sending people into their death if it means humanity gets a fighting chance.

He knows exactly what to say and how to say it in order to convince people to follow his ways.

His teaching method at the academy was fairly brutal, allowing pimpsqueaks with minimal training and no aura like Jaune to get in. He doesn't exactly take the carebear approach and cherish all life.

He does not cherish all life, he has a cause and wants people to follow it so that the grimm can be defeated.

He's also a genuine idiot. He had all the relics at one point, but despite their power, didn't use them to stop Salem... To then decide to seal them away and give his power to 4 random mortals who can access the relics whose powers will randomly be passed on forever with no fail-safe should they fall into evil hands. Eventually, he chose three headmasters to guard the vaults and as far as we can see, one of them is a paranoid control freak who's far too confident with himself, and the other was an utter coward with no regard to killing off hundreds of huntsmen just to appease Salem. Terrible judge of character.

Despite his methods, all of the people he "coaxed" into saving the world were adults who willingly accepted one way or another. The ones bitter about it (Raven) are likely upset because he "keeps things close to the chest", only spit out a half truth before turning them into birds, and thus put a permanent mark on Raven's back who didn't want to be a part of it anymore after finding out the whole truth.

In the end, his goals are in favor of saving humanity and letting go of his curse. He keeps secrets because this way he has more control over who follows his agenda and to avoid secrets being unnecessarily revealed to the enemy.

He's an 'ends justify the means' type of good guy, while also being fairly dumb.

Oz’s a failed “Chosen One”. A paragon that’s gone through unimaginable grief and suffering yet still persists and is still mostly upright in terms of morals and ideals. Even when finding out that there was no way for him to destroy Salem he still tries to keep her back. He may have not had a plan to beat Salem, but I’m sure he was ready to stall her destroying humanity for as long as he could while still letting people enjoy themselves to their fullest. His experience is a great benefit but also shown to be his Achilles’ heel since it’s left him with a significant lack of trust in those closest to him due to all of the betrayal he’s gone through.

The way I see it, Oz is on the wrong foot of losing his war against his ex-wife Salem. Salem has brought the silver-eyed warriors to the brink of extinction, has made the Grimms have almost the entire territory of the planet to themselves, has developed a method to steal the magic of others (grimm parasite), has created hybrid eyed warriors Silver Plated-Grimm (Hound of volume 8), has cut communications between kingdoms, already has a plan to end the forces of Oz for good. Oz has made the following mistakes that have cost Remmant and his people too much, such as: -Gift most of his magical powers to 4 people without having a method to make sure whoever inherits them is trustworthy or get them back. -Hidden too much crucial information even from his closest allies -He has made Remmant too dependent on his guide and if something happens to him the line of command is almost broken. -He has been too focused on finding a way to destroy Salem that he has not thought of other ways to permanently defeat her such as sealing her, locking her in a pocket dimension (the vaults) or launching her into outer space. My theory of how the Dust originated are 3: -They are a fossil fuel that originated from the remnants of Remmant's first magical humanity. -They are the remains of the moon charged with the magical energy of the god of darkness -They are the crystallized accumulation of magic energy that is in the environment or Remmant's magic ley lines without using it. On the origin of the Aura it seems like a combination of reinforcement and protection spells plus a specialized spell (Semblance).

Oz as leader resembles a fusion of Dumbledore's (Harry Potter) manipulations and information concealment, Celestia's incompetence (MLP), treating others as replaceable chess pieces like Magneto (X-Men). For example, Oz did not place a single selection mechanism to the power of the maidens in dying (spoilers if each and every one of them appeared), he made Remnant dependent on the hunters and the atlas troops, he kept exaggeratedly secret information from Salem that he could have used for strategies, Beacon had a hideous computer security system and to top it all he entrusted the fate of the human and Faun race to kids with quirky fashion senses and weapons bigger than their own bodies. I also don't know how Oz didn't think of sealing Salem, throwing her into space or better yet a black hole, locking her in a pocket dimension or a way to permanently eliminate the Grimms, had the relic of destruction could have used it to strip Salem of his army of Grimms but foolishly decided to hide it like the other relics. But the point is that I say, if I had a coin for every time ozpin wasted an opportunity to destroy salem and / or the grimms would have enough to buy me a pizza.

I would do the same as orion minimum age of 6 nice

The wand probably works
Because she uses light control it’s absence I think

Well, I'm glad you'd abandoned the first iteration of this story, because I'm one episode away from strangling Harry to death. For all his powers, some of which are unearned in my opinion, he is mentally pathetically weak. His ego is so big that his convoluted revenge scheme must go exactly as he envisioned, or else he will throw a tantrum. As a result of his ridiculous inflexibility, Sakura got hurt (while she is grotesquely overrated, the attack on her is certainly unwarranted).

Now that I've read this chapter, I regret being overly harsh in my criticisms of the first two chapters. So, my apologies. However, that doesn't excuse Harry essentially living his life for Sakura the moment he got transported to the Nasuverse, which breaks any reasonable person's willing suspension of disbelief, nor does Sakura has any right to hold his hands and kiss him, because once again, SHE IS COMPLETELY USELESS, a corpulent load just begging to be shed. She hasn't done anything remotely worthwhile to earn a prime position in his affections. If she wants to be his cum receptacle, then Harry's three homunculi creations/daughters, Medusa, and Medea, who are all competent and mature beauties, will gladly jump at the chance. So what does she bring to the table? Nothing.

I wish Shinji's and Zouken's death scenes were much, much longer and inhumane. Those two vile shitstains deserved much worse. Shinji should've been sodomised by a spiked club for days non-stop. I admit, having Zouken cannibalising himself to death is pretty sweet.

I forgot to mention this in my review for Chapter 1, but the amount of naivety displayed by Harry is incredulous. Just taking one look at Zouken, why would anyone take what he says at face value? As for Harry, having suffered under the Dursleys for multiple years, he should be even more cynical than the average child. So instead of researching for methods to safely removing the worms and murdering Zouken, he actually believes the old fuck like an exceptional retard.

Well, I hope Harry is happy, because he has a new monikar, the shitty mage who enabled rape. What sort of incompetent fool leaves their work unattended, especially with someone as vile as Shinji around? "I see. I apologize for that. It wouldn't have happened had I cleaned up the circle when I was done." Yeah, no shit.

This chapter also reaffirms how pathetic Harry is. Despite being a genius at least alchemy (creating multiple working homunculi is not insignificant at all), his bright idea of dealing with the worms is to suffer silently and sleep in their writhing masses willingly, all because Sakura is to pathetic to help herself and Harry being a misogynist who refuses let her fight her own battles.

This is an amazingly cringe-worthy chapter. Suffice to say, I'm not a big fan of a person sacrificing themself to save someone else, especially someone as unworthy of saving as Sakura. I would've been more tolerant of her weakness had she even demonstrated a willingness to strengthen herself, which is an shamefully low bar to cross. Instead, while she acknowledges her patheticness, she does nothing to better herself. Of course, Harry is not blameless either. Instead of giving her support, he jumps into the fray like a Gryffindor fodder and stupidly shoulders all the burden, thereby exacerbating Sakura's basket case situation by clinging onto him like a security blanket and refusing to face challenges head-on.