|Reviews for On The Wall|
| TheRoadgoeseverOnAndOn chapter 1 . 3/29/2012
A great story. Very well written.
| bnklg chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
I hope none of the boys who were fighting in the battle were small children, like 6 to 8 year olds.
| Kielle chapter 1 . 8/14/2003
O.O Wow. Just...wow. The way the ending ties back to the beginning and gives it a whole new meaning...pardon me if I'm stating the obvious, but I am quite impressed by this. Got a lump in my throat and everything! I would very much like permission to archive this at - please drop me an e-mail!
| Faerfaen chapter 1 . 2/27/2003
Wow this was really good! Loved it!
** Dy **
| GreyLadyBast chapter 1 . 1/21/2003
oh my god! wow and wow and wow again! This made me cry. You made me cry, and I very seldom cry at fanfic!
I absolutely love these little "Side-ways" perspective stories. Having written several of them myself, I know how difficult, yet rewarding, they can be. This is easily one of the very best I've read here. You made me cry, dammit! The tone, the fear, the action, the courage and redemption at the end, the devotion to Theoden King and his reaction-all I can really say is "wow!" yet again. I cannot believe you made me cry...
I have no constructive critism to offer. Don't change a thing. It's perfect the way it is. Absolutely wonderful, emotional beyond words, and so very, very real.
I'm glad this was recommended to me. It's going on my favorites list. Even if you did make me cry with only one chapter...
| Sprite Figwit's Fangirl chapter 1 . 1/21/2003
Wow. Very good. My only criticism - this paragraph doesn't seem quite right: "So it goes for what seems like whole ages; blood and rain mingling, slicking the stones until one can hardly stand. In my tenuous refuge- curled between two fallen warriors and a wall- smeared with blood, tired and frightened beyond any hope, I try to will the blades of the enemy away from me. They come dangerously close, and too often for my liking."
In my opinion it doesn't fit with the rest of the story too well. What's directly below it though, is perfect.
"There is a yell; perhaps a call for retreat, or simply a cry to further battle, I cannot tell. I know that it came from my king. I see him, through the struggling bodies, proud and fearsome even in the face of this terror. I see, too, what he cannot- behind him, an Uruk-hai cuts through Rohirrim warriors as if they were string, bearing down on the king. As if in a dream, I rise from my shelter, the legs I thought had turned to wax carrying me across the short distance.
I spring; my weight is little, but the evil creature did not expect to be thwarted so close to his kill. And not, assuredly, by a child. His sword finds a sheath in me, the pain nearly driving me out of my mind- but still, I think, it was not Théoden-king!
A slash, a scream- ah, no, that is my own- a howl of anger, from the Orc, and he is felled as he would have felled the king. The battle is cooling; still it goes on, but here, at least, it has slowed enough that the king takes precious seconds to look at me. In his eyes, I see anger, and hurt beyond any other I have encountered. From his lips comes a whisper that barely reaches my ears; he calls me son, calls me warrior. Try as I might, I cannot hear beyond those few words, and he turns away as the battle rages once more.
The pain in my body lessens even now, and there is not the blackness I had expected, but a bright light, as the sun on the fields of my home. I am grown; strong and fair, with the faith and trust of the king in my heart, warming me. My horse sweeps 'cross the plains…"
| Stick in the Mud chapter 1 . 1/20/2003
I am impressed. Not many could do a first person story and still make it sound like Tolkien. I was especially impressed with the very descriptive imagery you used in this. By all means, please continue writing!
| tigerlily4 chapter 1 . 1/20/2003
Oh, lovely and poetic. Beautiful. Very book-ishly canon, and Tolkien-esque (Amazing since it's first person...). And a very good closure, repeating the first lines. I loff it.
-TL, who is putting this on her favorites list.
| Neshomeh chapter 1 . 1/20/2003
First-person Tolkienian style... That was interesting and cool. I can't write first-person-I have to write it third-person and convert the pronouns after the fact, or I get all wrapped up in the emotions and forget to describe things. You rock!
| Laurel Whitney chapter 1 . 1/10/2003
Good stuff! I like it! Well written. It's nice to read a story that uses not only good, but excellent, grammar, spelling, punctuation, and capitolization. The first person internal monologue/stream of conscousness format works very well, and the blending of his thoughts with the external actions seems seamless. Flows very well. Keep writing! This is an excellent piece!
| Jan chapter 1 . 1/10/2003
Very good; you know how to spell and put a sentence together in coherent fashion, so you're ahead of 80% of the other writers out there just with that. Yours isn't the genre of story likely to draw tons of reviews, but it deserves them far more than the dime-a-dozen Legolas crapfic romances or done-to-death Mary Sue parodies.
| MJ chapter 1 . 1/9/2003
Aw, shucks. Didn't do nothin'. You done all the hard work.
Hope you get tons of good reviews!
| Athena Parthenos chapter 1 . 1/9/2003
Very nice! I'm not much for LotR *fic* (love the books and movies though) but you managed to write something that wasn't a stupid Legomance or some such monstrosity. It's people like you, who respect their fandoms, who make fanfiction into something worthwhile and decent. I especially liked the last little bit; sniff, sniff. War really is a dreadful thing. Anyway, thanks for writing something good (and easy on the stomach!). :)
| Nacey chapter 1 . 1/9/2003
*sniffles* That is so good! And really sad! I'm bad at critiques. I'm only good at praise, I'm afraid. Sorry! But I really liked it. The imagery is really vivid, and the determination of the Rohirrim is really intense. And the fear too *sighs* Very good stuff, dude, I'm really impressed.
| Forget Yesterday chapter 1 . 1/8/2003
Ooh. What is to say? This is good. And yay for book-canon! *cheers*