Reviews for Inner Darkness
JimmyHall24 chapter 4 . 12/28/2016
Galya chapter 2 . 6/9/2016
Hi again. To start off there some tiny errors like:

“The Jedi who had build this place, wise they may be…”
“The Jedi who had built this place, wise they may have been…”

“The stopped in the doorway...”
“They stopped in the doorway….”

“...and small wooden table...”
“...and a small wooden table…”

I didn't write each one, but there are just tiny errors here and there.

On to the review!

Luke seems agitated that she found him. I guess if he went through all that trouble to be hidden it makes sense. I find it interesting that he calls Ben by his birth name. So many things that could mean. Maybe he doesn't know his new name? Or maybe he refuses to acknowledge the name of Ren out of spite?

I like how you describe the connection to the Force. How it encompasses her like a drug. I know this is Rey's story, but why didn't Chewie go to at least say Hi to Luke? That made me a little sad that after all the looking he didn't come over to even get a message for Leia.
Galya chapter 1 . 6/8/2016
The first part reminded me of a theory I had after seeing TFA that the saber was like the ring and evil and searching for its new master. It has to be tainted having been used by Anakin to murder so many including the younglings right?

Anyhoo, on with the review.

It is a nice twist to rewrite from Rey's dark side. “Are you afraid of me?” That would show she is almost enjoying freaking him out as much as if she's been trained for this. How would that not scare him?

Then you describe her retaliation against Ren in the Forest differently too. Not Force Valor, but once again almost tapping into a side that is aggressive. It could be seen either way. It could even be the saber itself ,since she feels so calmed by it.

Once again seeing the end as not as a plee for hope, but having Rey be hurt and angered at Luke for leaving the galaxy behind.

You do begin alot of paragraphs with “when” and “she” which a little tedious to read. I think it's a stylistic choice here as a sort of quick glimpse to get us in the story or almaot like a narrator speaking.

I liked reading scenes we already know from a different view. Something darker. Rey was very OP and perfect in the movie. I did enjoy her character in TFA despite that, but it is fun to see it in a different light.
krakenlyle chapter 1 . 6/2/2016
This is very interesting to me. I've always thought of Rey as extremely light. She calmed down in the middle of a battle, after all. I'm not sure I agree with your portrayal of her. When you talk about that point in the actual movie, your view of her seemingly natural (what I view as meditation) absorption of power seems kind of off. That being said, your descriptions and imagery are marvelous, such as when you describe the lightsaber and its history in the beginning. This story has a natural rhythm and a good mix of sentence lengths.
Nice job over all!
Midnight Lost chapter 8 . 6/2/2016
Woo hoo, another update!

Looking forward to the next update!
Midnight Lost chapter 7 . 6/1/2016
You have no idea how long I been looking forward to an update to this.

I love the Kreia interactions!
Midnight Lost chapter 6 . 1/31/2016
Yay, update!

Really enjoying this story, and can't wait for more Kreia/Rey interactions, because I feel that is where the real meat of the story will be right now.

Looking forward to more.
Random Reader chapter 1 . 1/20/2016
I like your story so far. I like the idea of Rey struggling with the dark side, so I hope this story gets updated. I did a little googling to find out who Kreia is since I haven't read any EU stuff at all. Without knowing anything about her I was losing interest. My humble constructive criticism would be to give some hints as to Kreia's motivation a bit so that non-EU readers maintain interest... Otherwise is seems like Luke just kinda handed off his training responsibility to a hologram that we've not heard of and have no reason to like/dislike. Otherwise, I like you descriptions of Rey's internalized experience of the force and such, so keep up the good work.
Midnight Lost chapter 5 . 1/6/2016
Great job on the chapter. Kreia was written very well, and could actually "hear" her say those words in her voice.

By far one of my favorite manipulators.
Seven Star Swordsman chapter 4 . 1/4/2016
Midnight Lost chapter 4 . 1/3/2016
Ah Kreia, I really loved her character.

Even used her "teachings" as a guide when playing my Sith Warrior in SWTOR. Very good choice, if you plan to do what I think you are. I can think of no one better, except maybe Palpatine.
jaderook chapter 4 . 12/31/2015
Ooh-potential Sith holocron disguised as a Jedi one? Maybe? Is that even a thing?
Bob chapter 3 . 12/29/2015
I really like what you are doing here! This makes for a story that is different, which is a story I will read! Keep up the good work and don't stop!
Guest chapter 3 . 12/29/2015
I like the idea of your story! The writing is pretty good and the idea you have is different. I really hope your keep exploringReys darker nature. As you said much more scary then Kylo could ever be.
jaderook chapter 2 . 12/28/2015
Excellent start here. I can very much picture all of this. My question is, can Luke sense she's utilizing the Dark Side?
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