Reviews for The Swan Princess
Nightmare Prince chapter 22 . 6h
Hullo xD

So, the rescue party is Curly and… Sula? I did not expect this turn of events, and it’s a rather fun pairing to see together. That aside, Sula’s scenes still make me twitch because of the lack of grammar, but she’s growing on me, just a little. Her personality is fantastically bitchy and ballsy, and she’s a racer as well. Adrenaline junkies unite!

Curly, for his part, is adorable in this scene. I say this because my friends also complain about my driving, so I can picture his situation perfectly – him hanging on for dear life while the driver assures him that the speed limit is just a recommendation anyway. I also like the idea of Rapunzel as a speedster behind the wheel, and his reaction to eventually getting out of the car was quite funny.

So, Sula saved them all with her magic and so they weren’t all arrested again. Thankfully, Sula is a badass biatch, and we all need someone like her in our lives. That aside, I quite like the brief flicker of something going on between her and Cathy. There might just be more there than meets the eye.

But, onto the main event! Curly and Rose. Drunk Rose worked very nicely with Curly, and her being all drunk allowed her to be much more open and the like, so that’s always a plus. Calling him an oven is a little odd, but I’ll let it slide because she’s very drunk, and I wasn’t expecting any romance here, but a touch of it would be nice. The allusion to romance was nice though, what with her having a love affair with his hair, and him being awkward as she draped herself over him. I eagerly look forward to the fallout from this, actually, because it promises to build character. Rose will have changed from this, whether for better or worse, and I quite hope it’s for the better so she can stop being such a wet blanket when she’s sober. As for Curly, he’s filling into the role of best friend/boyfriend very nicely, and it’s only a matter of time before he breaks Rose out of her shell.

Overall, a shorter chapter than usual, but a very good one.

-Ciao Mate

Nightmare Prince chapter 21 . 7h
Hullo xD

I don’t think I’ve met Cathalina before, and I shall be referring to her as Cathy from now on, as Cathy seems rather annoying. She reminds me of the teacher’s pet type with rampant OCD, but at least she’s not so uptight as to realize that libraries blow. Seriously, you can’t eat or drink in there? How is one to enjoy a good book without a nice glass of scotch and cigarette or two?

Also, I quite like the name of the pub/café/restaurant they’re meeting at. The Snuggly Duckling seems to be a rather nice place, all things considered, and the irony of Rose being there is not lost on me – Ugly Duckling who’s actually a swan? It’s a nice metaphor for the shell she has around herself, and the somewhat robotic nature she carries herself with. I imagine that once she comes into her own, she’ll be a real swan, and not some flappy thing that goes great with honey and garlic.

I’m not really clear as to Cathy’s parents as of yet, but if were to hazard a guess based on her name and her love of food, I’d think she’s Tiana’s daughter – the name isn’t very French in terms of New Orleans, but Prince Naveen could well have been Portuguese or Spanish, all things considered, especially given he wasn’t exactly from New Orleans.

A telepath, huh? Hmmm, I think you’ll enjoy meeting Christopher Charming. He has a similar dream ability called Dreamtouch, but it’s less putting ideas in peoples’ heads and more knocking them out with a touch. Now, I don’t think she’s related to Tiana at all. Hmmmmm. *scratches head* Who in the Disneyverse is related to telepathy and dreams? Aurora? Somehow, I doubt that she’d have a daughter named… Is it Pocahontas? Is Cathalina here to paint with all the colours of the wind?

[Her first glass she had] – [the first glass she had]

Also, Cathy’s sections tend to be a bit rambly, in my opinion, and the sentences tend to run on a bit. Perhaps it would be wise to break a few of them up and replace a few of the commas with periods here and there.

J’accuse! I see that Philip is a man-whore in this verse as well. Hmmm, I dismissed it earlier, but this seems very complicated now. So, Aurora and Prince Hans? Oh dear… so she’s the slapper? Or who he is? I am very concerned, but I fully believe that answers will present themselves soon, so no more confusing myself trying to plot out this family tree. Also, remind me to tell you who the name Elise reminds me off xD
SHE’S CATHALINA DE VIL! That line about skinning puppies was a dead giveaway. Goodness, I’m surprised that she’s turned out this well considering that her mother is one of the most heinous bitches to grace the Disneyverse, but my goodness, it’s perfect. Cruella/Hans… I’m dying at the thought.

So, drunk Rose is a fun Rose. I’m so glad to see her robotic personality melt away so that the real her can shine through, and she really should cut loose more often. Maybe not in such a wild manner, but dancing on tabletops and getting into a barfight is exactly what a young princess needs if she’s to become a true queen. I quite like the conversation between Cathy and Rose as well. It shared a lot about them, but it really gave Rose some depth that she, up to this point, desperately needed .

And then we have the barfight, which is very nicely done. Rose mentioning she can’t be thrown out or told what to do because they’re royalty was perfection, and it really cements the type of Rose I look forward to seeing in future chapters. Curly can still do better, but I’m not as frosty to the pairing anymore.

And, now they’ve been arrested – I wonder who’s coming to save them? Larry, probably, since… no, Rose still hasn’t mended bridges with him. It’s going to be Curly and Elise to the rescue next chapter, and really, all I still see is Elise of Nohr with her huge pigtails, “I am not delicate” line, and best offensive statline for a cleric in the game.

-Ciao Mate
Nightmare Prince chapter 20 . 7/17
Hullo xD

An interesting chapter with interesting developments. Let’s take this from the top.

Rose: She’s a drama queen and need professional help given how fucked up emotionally she is thanks to her parents’ horrible sense of judgement and the way they’ve brought her up. Her entire outlook on life is rather depressing, and it’s very hollow and mechanical, in truth. I actually no longer ship Curse after reading those scenes. Or LaRose. I read it, and I just feel that anyone who ends up with Rose would have to do so as a project, because she’s just that empty. I mean, there’s progress, but the fact that she doesn’t even have any internal thoughts like – “This actually isn’t the best for me, but it is what it is,” just makes me roll my eyes. Let Lord Butterbumps have her.

Curly, on the other hand. My, am I warming to Curly after this. He’s got a bit of badass in him, given how swiftly he took care of those thugs (villain kids or just thugs, by the way?) but his whole internal monologue just feels very carefree. He raises excellent counters to Rose’s points, and he, in my opinion, also brings something new to the table. He’s never had his heart broken, not just by love, but by life in general, it seems, and I imagine the day he realizes the real world will be a very solid moment. All it takes it one bad day, and that’s enough to drive the sanest person mad. I look forward to Curly’s bad day, only because all this positivity on his end just makes me really want to see him pushed to his limits.

Rodgers: I like you, crotchety old man. We’ll be keeping you. I quite like the bits we get of his sardonic nature, though I frown at him being on board with Siggy’s plots, he still seems to be on the side of Rose’s happiness.

Ok, character’s aside:

How is Siegfried king? Did Odette’s father abdicate early, because if her father is still alive, as has been made clear, the old swan king should still be ruling, since it’s a very until death type of job for the most part. I imagine things would be easier for Rose if the old swan was still on the throne – I mean, have you seen Queen Elizabeth? Woman has great-granchildren and she’s still rocking her crown.

Now, Rose is also very polite to the people who just tried to rob her, which shows her naivety to the world. Especially that one kid who likely wanted to do bad things to her, which I shall refrain from mentioning in this review, but are likely very TLB. I appreciated her kicking him, though, showing that her combat training is doing her some good.

Overall, this was a solid chapter that interests me as to how things will turn out. Clearly, we’re reaching some sort of climax given that Odile is still out there, but Rose can kick ass a bit now, and Curly is no slouch/glass cannon medic either. Therefore, we’re going to gets ready for a confrontation.

Ciao Mate

(Also, why was there only a mention of best stud, Larry, this chapter? We need more Larry)
Kauthar chapter 1 . 7/9
Nightmare Prince chapter 19 . 6/28
Hello xD

It’s kind of sad that Rose hasn’t been to actual birthdays and experienced them for herself, honestly. Rogers remains a tool, and her parents are tools as well for denying her a happy childhood, and now I want Rose to go to a rave to just cut loose and dance on a table. It would do her good. Also, give the girl some nachos and enchiladas. She needs proper party food. Also, it’s sweet that she’s going something nice for Curly despite their recent falling out.

Doctor Pak is into Professor Cosmo (Honestly, does Wanda know what her husband’s been up to?) and I am here for it. Let’s have the teachers have a solid social life in this school because it really adds to the whole realism feel. Teachers do not get locked in a staff room at the end of the school day and let out in the morning. They have lives, and I like that you’ve fleshed them out a bit more, even if all we’ve established is that Pak wants Cosmo’s wood.

And, look at Rose, all corrupted and ready to steal something from the teachers for her friends. Good on her. Let her live. Yes, Curly is likely going to be badly hurt flying around like a lunatic, but it’s also something he would really like, and I’m glad that Rose’s feathers aren’t all white and pure anymore. She’s on her way to being a bad girl.

[a subtle hint to clean the dorms] – well, three teenage boys do live there… but Larry does like keeping his love-shack neat, so it’s no surprise that it’s clean and tidy. Yes, I am now fully on board with Larry being the playboy of Andover.

Naturally, the first time they go flying, they crash into a mysterious house and nearly die. If it was anyone else other than Rose or Curly, I would be surprised, but trouble seems to follow these two around, if we’re being honest. The fact he’s still conscious after those injuries, however, is remarkable enough… and Rose has been staked. People, she is a swan thing, not a vampire. Please put the shards of wood away.

Ok, so it’s nice to see Rose taking charge here. She knows more about ghosts, clearly, and she’s all about getting the two of them out of this dump. Her skills have come a long way given she just kicked down a door, and Curly’s reaction is very appropriate given that, well, it’s Rose… And her cuddling her shoes afterwards is quite the image, especially given what she’s just done to the door. She will be a warrior queen in time, soon. Who knows… they may even ask her to be on the council.

Charlotte is very mysterious and I am here for it, and I get the feeling she is one of the more powerful types of ghost. That, and she’s going to likely keep them there as her new puppets. Jokes aside, I like that we’re introduced to the ghost immediately, and that she’s immediately intimidating because we’ve already seen all the things she can do. Is she a throwaway villain, though? I’d like to see more of her eventually.

Oh, she’s dead. Never mind, then. Bye, spooky ghost lady. I like that Rose was clever enough to deduce what the real talisman binding Charlotte to the house was, and I’m more impressed with her than ever as she literally begins to stab the painting with her shoe. Heels, I take it, lol. The fact that she wore heels to this place, to come flying, says a lot about her, actually.

[even is most] – should be – [even if most]

All in all, a good chapter, and it’s another nice breather after the Odile introduction and such. Now, I wonder what comes next – THE HAUNTED HOUSE II? Does this mean Charlotte is coming back. Yes, I am here for it. Let’s go.

-Ciao Mate

Nightmare Prince chapter 18 . 6/28
Hullo xD

[bang our brains] - should be - [bang, our brains]

Now, as you may or may not know, I quite adore Rhett. He's positively delightful in a sinister, twisted, warped around the edges kind of way that makes me think he's one day going to snap and kill all of Andover, but he'll do it all with a grin on his face. His father is totally the Cheshire Cat, right, and I really don't want to go into how that's even possible or legal, but it's Wonderland, and well, Wonderland is where all the insane shit happens. More Rhett please.

His interactions with Rose are nicely done. You can really feel her trying to cope with what happened down in the catacombs, the poor dear, and I really think she needs like... therapy at this point. Does the school offer a guidance counsellor? The poor girl might need it after what she went through down there. I can also understand why she wants to be away from the Three Stooges. Larry got his bang on with her arch nemesis. She doesn't want to see Curly because he's Larry's friend. Oh, and Moe is Moe, and I doubt anyone would want to see him.

Interesting touch with the letter taking ages to reach Odette and Siegfried. Man, it's nice to read a story were they're alive, after all. That aside, I'm wondering what their reaction to the whole thing will be? Will they send their knights to drag Rose back to her castle, kicking and screaming, and toss her in a dragon-guarded tower (She's Fiona, isn't she? And Shrek will save her!)

I like that you have this rapid-fire of thoughts in Rhett's mind. It really clicks and lets us know that he's not all there, even if he likes playing games. His relationship with Isaiah Charming is also rather interesting, and I like that they have some sort of friendship despite them being on opposite sides of the coming war. Also, maybe this is because I've chatted to you about these characters, but does Isaiah/Rhett perhaps happen at some point? Hmmm, seems intriguing at any rate.

The way in which you end this is rather chilling. He obviously has a plan for her, and now I need to know if this story has plans to progress to after they're all done with school. If she is a hero princess as we're being led to believe, I really feel they may one day meet again in another situation that will either break her or lead her to take him down. I don't know, but Rhett just seems really good at mindgames and the way he decides how best to play Rose is rather chilling.

As I often say about the character Henry from Fire Emblem, it's almost as though Rhett is there to appeal to the school shooter demographic.

Overall, a fun chapter with an intriguing new character, and it really was nice to have something a little milder after the rollercoaster of the catacombs. Now, I wonder what happens to them next?

-Ciao Mate
Sebastian Ballentyne chapter 16 . 6/15

Oh, well, at least they’ve found her, finally. I’m very intrigued by the future of Larose, though Rose/Curly is still acceptable. Rose/Moe seems to be being pushed a bit by the story, but as a reader, I just have to say no. I’ll try and make my thoughts clearer below, but I’m just not feeling Moe compared to how he was before.

God, Moe is annoying. This came all of a sudden, but I just don’t like his characterisation. He strikes me as very off putting rather than being a lovable, socially-awkward geek. This Moe is just an asshole, and you can’t argue that it’s the stress of the situation, because it’s just like a new character all together. There’s virtually nothing of the old Moses present here, and it’s rather unsettling given the delicate nature of this rescue.

For instance how, pray tell, is Larry going to help you pull Curly and Rose out of that hole? Have you forgotten that his leg just got snapped like a twig?

Actually, reading further, I’m kind of over him in general. The whole base code thing, etc. it’s edgy, it’s very edgy, but it *takes a deep breath* This jealousy angle and “broken code” or whatever. It’s very off-putting, and it just makes him seem somewhat unhinged. Not in the good way either, where he’s a little zany, like he came across as in earlier chapters. Now he just seems like the villain. Like fuck, let’s kill this cunt and have Odile join the team since she’s actually less annoying at this point.

Sorry, I don’t mean to come across as rude, but you know I’m very upfront in my reviews.

Ok, leaving that aside, Curly really drained himself, didn’t he? He’s a good friend. Despite his jealousy and less than positive thoughts about everything, he really rose above and shone as a friend here. Honestly, he’s one of my favourite characters, because he may be brash, but he has a heart of gold which always tends to shine through.

Now, to the main tea. Larry and Rose. Larose.

Right from the get-go, we know shit is going to be awkward, and you sell it, and I am buying all of the drama, all of the angst, all of the romance, all of it. The way he confesses is good, because it needs to be out there and not some secret, and her reaction is fantastic. She isn’t leaping to forgive him and being all sugary and sweet about it. No, she’s acting like a real person would. Her sense of defeat that looms after is also quite in character – she feels betrayed, battleworn, exhausted, and a whole plethora of other shite. Girl needs a powernap and a snickers.

Larry redeemed himself, though, in my eyes, by standing tall and being ready to fucking die for her, there and then, by facing down Odile. I will go down with this ship, dammit. Damn, poor Larry always gets abused by all the creatures in this damn series, and I’m starting to believe it’s going to get worse as time gets on. What’s next, a dragon?

Overall, the catacombs have been interesting, and it seems they’re finally going to deal with Odile, hopefully, in the next chapter. Can’t wait.
Sebastian Ballentyne chapter 15 . 6/15

Once again, we begin with Larry, and I know this is the chapter. *Deep breaths* I’m fond of Larry, and the whole first scene is quite nice. I did raise an eyebrow that he considers the loss of Rose to be less than losing his friendship with his bros, because that does not help me ship Larose now, does it?

Neat touch with him having to tie the knots into the rope, because I often see them just tossing the rope in and climbing down, but you add a nice sense of realism to the whole thing. Indeed, I think that the touch of realism is the best part of this, because that’s what makes this story really shine, in my opinion.

ODILE, YOU BITCH *shakes fist*

Right, so Larry immediately latching on to the fact that something is wrong is very him, and I like that you highlight the differences by just showing us what Rose is like in the last chapter, and then you highlight the differences by having Odile react to the same situations, in a manner of speaking. Though, Larry is a bit dim in that he isn’t quite picking up on it and has to puzzle it out

I choose to read into this as him being so glad she’s not dead or lost that he’s ignoring the obvious warning signs that it isn’t the real Rose.

But, how about we shove all that aside because Holy Mother of God, this is not going that well, to be honest. It’s somewhat tasteful, to be fair, in that it isn’t gratuitous, but it’s also fairly clear that Larry is being taken advantage off and Rose isn’t Rose so that’s a grey area as far as weirdness goes in general, but yeah. Larry has some game though, snapping off her buttons and getting frisky and sweaty down in the dark. Gosh, who knew he had it in him? I imagine that the fade to black implies he gets well and truly deflowered whilst Curly and Moe ride to his rescue

Oh, and speak of the devil, here’s Curly. And good, he’s doing something useful for once and getting a move on to go and find his friends. His deliberation is nice, and you can practically feel the jealously oozing out of him… oh, and there’s the rub. So, Larry and Rosile haven’t yet shagged properly, but they’re getting well and truly debased, and he’s basically getting a handjob from her. Sure, that works. It creates an awkwardness between the real Rose and Larry, but it also gives Larry a freshly fucked glow.

Excuse me, but why is Larry hairy? A, he’s blond, meaning that even if he had hair, it wouldn’t really show that much. B, but why? C, just let the poor boy have some manscaping done. Yes, I understand this is a reference to the fact that Larry is half beast, but still.

That all aside, I’m a big fan of the boy’s individual reactions to Larry and Rosile. It shows their personalities, but also has a touch of something more. Jealousy from Curly, and sheer horror from Moe. Very nice

Actually, Moe is over party. I’m done with the assclown. I have no idea why he was acting like that, but it was ridiculous behaviour and I will not stand for it given all the shit that is currently going on. At least Curly, despite being angry and somewhat bossy, is doing something useful. Moe, on the other hand, is cancelled. What even is he thinking, and his internal monologue really makes me roll my eyes. It just feels a bit forced, in my opinion, and it doesn’t mesh with the Moe that shows up in everyone else’s scenes.

Rose, at the end, is in dire circumstances. She’s dying, obviously, and needs rescue immediately. Unfortunately, the boys are all idiots and Moe is having some sort of fit, so they’re wasting time. I know she’ll be fine, and now I need to know more about how this all works in the long run because so much tension has already been set up for future chapters, and we’re not even done with the catacombs.
Sebastian Ballentyne chapter 14 . 6/15

So, we begin with Larry. As you know, I am a big fan of Larry in general and I consider him to be the best thing since sliced bread. Therefore, I am beginning this chapter in a good mood because, well, Larry, even though I’ve read ahead a bit and I know what my poor homeboy is going to go through in a bit. I do wonder, though. Larry’s mother is Belle, and we’ve seen him use his nature powers before… but does he have a beastly side?

I sort of ship Larry/Rose more than Rose/Curly right now, and that’s because look, he’s here for her as she embarks into the catacombs, and I know full well what he loses in those dark depths. I mean, sure, it’s something most teen guys want to lose, but not it that way, mind you.

Ursula and Captain Hook reproduced? Holy shit, that’s a… that’s downright hentai, Miss Butterfly. Gawd, all those tentacles…

Right, Mole People be damned, I want these crazy kids together. Dammit, they’re adorable when put in the same team, and he’s a lot more grounded that Curly, in my opinion. Also, he’s basically a mage. Why would you settle for a healer when you can be with a real mage? Rose, look at this man in front of you. Yes, you see him. Now, unite France and Swan Lake, and have feathered beasts for kids.

Larry’s sense of humour also makes him my favourite. Why would he be king of the Mole People when he can legit be the king of France? They have wine there.

Odile is suitably terrifying, the demented whackjob. I love her introduction, and I find her to be quite the interesting antagonist for this story. Also, I know what she’s planning on doing to Larry, so she’s already solidified herself into the role of power villain. What a crazy bint, in my opinion. I want her dead so badly. Things don’t look very good for team good guys right about now. Larry’s about to be indisposed, and Rose is trapped in her swan form (By the way, this would be completely avoidable if the daft girl had actually practiced being a swan in case of emergencies in the past but noooo) and Odile is about to kill the idiot King and Queen.

Errrr, so maybe it wouldn’t be that bad if they died. Rose would be queen, she could marry Larry, and he’d be able to make sure that nonsense like this doesn’t happen again in the future.
Sebastian Ballentyne chapter 13 . 6/15

So, we open with Rose going through something normal in that she’s giving her friends their presents, but at the same time, you really create a nice note about her upbringing. Obviously, princesses aren’t about to go knocking on boy’s bedroom doors, but that she hasn’t given gifts before as well is the real kicker. It also shows the distance between her and her parents in that she’s never seemingly thought to buy them a gift.

Well, isn’t Moe just an adorable bundle of nerves, neurosis, and panic attacks waiting to happen? If this is how flustered Rose makes him, then I can only imagine how bad it would be if he was the one to meet Odile. Oh dear, but that would end very poorly for the poor boy.

Points for him being a power-geek. That’s a new take on a character as I’ve never really seen that type of characterisation in fanfiction before, and you get the awkwardness down to a tee. It’s really well presented, and his awkwardness shines because, honestly, both Rose is lost in terms of social cues and he doesn’t seem to be the best at all.

MMORPGs? You play WoW, Moe? Hit me up. I’m with the Alliance, though, so if you’re Horde, don’t bother.

Interesting that this is a magical world where the princes and princesses are real – I mean, Moe is a frikken Genie of Agrabah (So, Jasmine was a tad unfaithful, I take it?) and yet Alice in Wonderland is a story? Hmmm, I don’t buy it. Wonderland exists, and we’re going to be introduced to Alice (With a bloody knife, as per the video game) soon enough.

(with very, very few exceptions) – Oh Rose, just admit that you want to get those perfect feathers ruffled by Curly.

Oh, look at him come out of his shell when he begins to chat about computers. I like how that shift is indicated. He doesn’t so much lose that shyness, but he just overcomes it because he’s talking about something he’s really passionate about, and it works well.

Right, I’m going to be honest. There’s a point when all the techy stuff became a bit wearying to me as a reader. Like, nothing much is happening here other than them chatting about techno babble, and as a reader, I’m here for the story and not a lecture on tech stuff. So, it got a bit of a chore to read through that bit. Maybe editing it down to keep the crux of the meeting without all the filler?

Right, that aside, his breakdown was really nicely written. Rose being quick enough on her feet to be able to talk him down was quite the nice touch and I feel that’s the point that really cemented their friendship, and their conversation in texts was quite a nice way of showing how Moe prefers technology to other people. Though, I am beginning to wonder if the poor guy is a genie or… Oz… I remember reading something relating him to Oz…

Miss Butterfly, is Moe related to the Tin Man?

Overall, this was a lovely chapter, and now that she’s bonded with the three of them, whacky hijinks shall ensue.

PS. Larry is still my favourite
SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot2001 chapter 18 . 8/28/2016
I've been gone a while, I know.
Review for chapter 17 (because I messed up somehow and reviewed the wrong chapter or something?)

Aw, first of all I love Moe - this chapter is part of the reason I love the format for this story so much: you get so much insight into the thoughts and feelings of the characters that's just so immensely satisfying. I understand next to nothing about computers (a little bit like Rose) but Moe's character is intriguing and compelling. Partly because he's clearly a lovely guy but also because I feel as though he represents all the frustration you feel when in a social situation you just can't say what you mean to say, or you're awkward or you're brain just sort of freezes - it happens to me a lot and to see it happen to him is somewhere between relief that I'm not the only one and sympathy because I kind of know what that's like.

Bless Rose, though. I don't think I've ever loved her so much! I love the way she is, the way she talks just argh, she's so nice it hurts.

Whoa, wait, hang on a second - "his spying job for Curly" ?! I ship this. Does he do this to all of his new friends I wonder, or is Rose special?

Aw, no - you are cool, Moe. I hate it when that happens. You know when somebody asks you about something you're passionate about and really love and then you're talking about it and they visibly just shut down or ignore you, or worse talk over you and change the subject?

Io? Charming? As in a daughter of Prince Charming? Iolanthe? As in the opera? I must know... Didn't the name come from Greek or something meaning 'violets'? Is this going to be a doomed one-sided romance? Please say no, I don't want Moe to get hurt.

"Previous illegal hacking"? He really is a thorough spy! Is that what he'll do later on in life maybe? Spying?

I love the bond Larry, Moe and Curly have. I don't have the words to do this chapter justice but the emotion was really raw and just very real. It's awful what happened to Moe - and the worse thing is that it still happens in the real world.

"People were complicated. Screwed up. A tangle of a mess" - oh truer words have never been spoken.

Anyway, I love this story, I love the characters and I loved this chapter.

And chapter 18! My, my, the plot thickens!

Oh my word, that was dramatic and the cliff-hanger! The action was written really well, I can’t wait to see what happens next, this just got incredibly exciting! How will anyone know that she’s Rose if she's a swan if they find her? Surely her friends will notice that Rose isn’t Rose? Also, if Odile was imprisoned beneath Andover, why would her parents every agree to send her there? I’m so very excited I can hardly contain it!

This is amazing!
Nightmare Prince chapter 16 . 8/26/2016
Hullo xD

About time Rose got her Katniss on. Though, considering the franchise, I’d wager a guess that she’s actually channelling her inner Merida? I’m really happy to see this version of Rose, one that has a lot more agency than the girl we met in the first chapter who just wanted to be the perfect little princess. Sure, she’ll probably be a great warrior princess like Mulan of China or Susan of Narnia, but at least she’ll have some degree of fighting ability. It isn’t like she’s an alcoholic who’ll always have tones of flaming vodka bottles with her.

I do like the nod that her father isn’t completely useless. Still, he’s pretty much a cunt.

Oooh, new character. A bit risky to introduce someone in so late in the narrative, but it makes sense since Rose can’t very well just spend the entire holiday with just herself and still make for a dynamic story. It’s also fun that he’s got a shotgun – apart from the gun Rose bought last chapter, we’ve not seen modern weaponry in this world, and I like this little nod. Now, I’m trying to think of hunter type father’s in the fairy tale world to place who exactly this is. . .

Please, tell me this isn’t the son of the man who shot Bambi’s mother?

[riffles] – should be – [rifles]

So, good to know Sula isn’t completely useless. Still, she’s pretty much a cunt.

It’s also a bit of tricky move to introduce a character with a vendetta and a completely unseen backstory. I mean, we’ve never heard a whiff of this dude beforehand, and now we’re just been assaulted by his tough guy gunner attitude. I do like it, but I’m also a bit cautious until we get to know this character a little better. On a more critical note, I would have liked a hint of the story from beforehand, and since he seems pretty friendly with Sula, I do wonder if he’s a villain kid.

A mental shield that deflects magic? My mind is whirring but I just can’t place it. *Shane begins to think* Meh, not ringing a bell. The only person with the ability to use shields is Violet from The Incredibles, and perhaps Princess Elena from that Disney Series my baby cousin makes me watch whenever I babysit.

[generations ultimate] – [generations’ ultimate]

Random change from past tense to present tense in the MMA discussion.

I recommend reading over the Max bits, because there’s a fair bit of SPaG, and whilst not bad, it does clash a little against the Rose segments.

Ok, onto her training scene in general. I like that she’s learning with a bow and she’s not automatically an expert archer because that would be silly, but I do like that she’s a natural at it. The gun scene was amusing, especially because it got her flying through the air, but at the end of the day, it’s the MMA thing I’m most interested in. If Rose really goes through with this – and I hope we see her learn and train quite a bit – she’ll be a real force to be reckoned with. Combining her range with her melee abilities, and she’ll quickly become the lead fighter on her team, which will really show her progression.

Merlin, does this mean more Sula? No, she needs to train with that other girl. That aside, the whole training thing is something I’m really looking forward to, and I hope to get to that point of the story soon.

So, let me sum up their team so far:

Curly – Healer
Larry – Mage
Moe – Hacker/Gunner
Rose – Archer/MMA Fighter/Bird-Lady

Overall, a pretty solid team, and I can’t wait until Rose is trained up again for some actual fights to happen. The fight with Shelob, for instance, really needs to happen again with another baddie. Needless to say, Shane is eagerly awaiting the battle with Odile, that rapist bitch.

-Ciao Mate
Nightmare Prince chapter 15 . 8/26/2016
Hullo xD

You know, I yelled enough last chapter about Rose’s dickwad parents, so I’m going to politely refrain from calling them pretentious bitches with molten iron rods rammed up their backsides. I mean, far be it from me to point out what stupid cunts they are, or that their parenting techniques are accomplishing far more harm than good, or that their daughter has already done battle with a Shelob and survived. Who am I to tell them that their precious snowflake of a daughter actually is showing her thorns as time passes, and is growing into a better queen than the two of you ever will be. Odette and Siegfried, I enjoyed the original story of you two, but in this story, Rose is an orphan to me. Dumbass biatches.

Anyway, I like this new Rose. She’s getting her own shit down, and even if she isn’t yet gone full Anna on her castle, she’s integrating into her world. Going shopping, for instance, is something that is so normal and that should be done, so that the traders are aware of the royal patronage. Also, Rose’s grandfather is the ultimate trump card and sounds like a wise king. More of him, please.

I hate Rogers. Can we kill him, please . . . just a little? I has not forgotten the scissors debacle, Rogers!

Anyways, let’s get into the shopping scene.

Ok, first of all, I really like the market scene. Them bitches be tripping to see the Princess and that wouldn’t have happened at all had the incompetent royals let her familiarise herself with the people from the time she was a child. I mean, look at Curly. Apparently the people just love him and don’t make a big deal about him coming around all the time. This just shows that Rapunzel is a far better queen – probably because, you know, Disney bothered making a movie for them.

I like her attention to the small details, but the real delight, for me, was in that little antique shop and my mind trying to place each and everyone of those objects. I’m going to list them below, and I want a sticker for each one I get right. The carpet – this is improbable, since Jasmine and Aladdin would never let it go, but it could be the Magic Carpet of Agrabah. The Gargoyles are obviously from Notre Dame, which technically falls into Larry’s kingdom. I wonder where Esmeralda’s kid is in this school. The armour? No clue, but the claymore is probably the blade of Cloud Strife since he’s from Square Enix and Disney regularly colabs with them. The seashell comb is probably from Ariel’s realm, the crystal ball is from New Orleans, I think, since it could be from the Voodoo store, but I prefer to think that it’s from Hogwarts. Dragon Claws? Maleficent was here. The ship is actual history, so leave that aside. Overall, I don’t think any of these are actually magic in nature, but they’re all quite interesting just to place as Easter Eggs.

Is that a Pirates of the Caribbean reference? The pistol of Davy Jones? I like that you used an actual gun from history, but I’m going to be honest – I’d have thought that you’d have referenced Blackbeard as the owner of this gun since he sailed on the Queen Anne’s revenge. Seems more fitting, but who knows? We may see his sword sooner or later, which would be wicked cool because a sword that can control any ship? Awesome. That aside, I spy a literal checkhov’s gun – the gun was seen here, therefore it must be fire in the future.

Voodoo Dolls? Definitely from Tiana’s realm of New Orleans. I wonder how her kingdom is doing after Katrina.

As for the mystery outside. . . a part of my thinks this man beggar may be Ursula because of the ending, with him asking for a smile since Ursula is famous for taking things like that – Ariel’s voice – and that is even reference there. But, it could easily be Hook, using a bit of his Octo-wife’s magic. Putting that thought aside, that bit was delightfully mystic and a little but creepy, but the real find is the compass and HOLY FUCK, IT’S JACK SPARROW’S COMPASS, isn’t it?

The compass that always points you in the direction of what you want most – isn’t that just the best thing for them considering they soon have to navigate the catacombs? Needless to say, I really enjoyed this, and I hope to read more soon.

-Ciao Mate
Nightmare Prince chapter 14 . 8/24/2016
Hullo xD

Ok, I think I finally understand where Rose is coming from. What horrible people she has to deal with on a regular basis? Seriously, the girl is like, what, seventeen? She just came back from school after doing battle with a Shelob, and you really think she can’t handle a pair of bloody scissors? Gah, what ghastly people. If I were in her place, the King and Queen may well have had an accident by now, making me the new ruler. Then, this Roberts would have his head on a spike. Seriously, are all the people in Oloria dumb, or just somewhat touched in the head? The Princess is not made of glass, as before this story is over, she is going to be riding to war with her husband and his two besties against the weird, rapey Odile.

Ok, I really like the budding of her crush on Curly here. She’s even looking at the imports from Corona and thinking of him. Aww, that’s royal love right there. I wonder if her parents even consider how powerful a Queen their daughter will make. A union between two powerful nations, and alliances with Kansas and France thanks to her friends, Larry and Moe? Please, Queen Odette and King Norse-Name need to calm the fuck down.

I’m just really pissed off at this family, can you tell? It makes me emphasise with Rose that she’s had to put up with these nutcases all her life. No wonder she’s such a mess.

I also like the ornaments she made of her friends. The sun of Corona, symbolising Curly, and the camera for Moe. And of course, Larry gets the rose. You know, the sheer symbolism of her named after the flower that plays such a crucial part of the Beauty and the Beast Tale would make most people stand back and go, let them kids be together, it has been destined. But of course, Curly has to be the one who captures her heart. *Grumbles* Why couldn’t she have called Larry? He wouldn’t have blown a raspberry on her.

Predictions for oncoming chapters: Curly delves into Dark Magic to protect his friends but becomes Darth Curly. Rose begins to exhibit more moxy – I like that she’s starting to show more independence right now, and I can only hope for more – and perhaps learns to use a weapon since she has no magic. Larry becomes the Knight of Roses after he’s raped by Odile. And Moe goes back to Oz because I seriously cannot take anything related to Glinda the Good Bitch seriously.

-Ciao Mate
Nightmare Prince chapter 13 . 8/24/2016
Hullo xD

Ok, pet peeve. I don’t care who the hell you are, but if you’re going to phone at 3am, then you deserve to be murdered in a Lazarus pit so that it creates a cycle of eternal torturous death. That is literally what you deserve for calling at such an ungodly hour, you deserve to be made to watch the HIMYM finale on loop for all eternity. I really feel for Curly, as I’m sure you can tell, because sleep is something sacred that nobody should mess with.

I have to smirk at the notion of butt-dialing. It’s a common trend these days with these stupid phones getting more and more sensitive as time goes on, and it is natural for him to thing the call was an accident. As it stands, it is quite odd to receive a call in the middle of the night.

Also, Rose is having more nightmares. She needs a glass of warm milk or something before bed. OH BOO HOO! You wake him up and then chicken out rather than spill the beans. Really, Rose, I can’t be having to forgive you every other chapter for something you do in the middle. You’re just so teenagely tweeniebopper with your drama. Silly girl. *Shoos her away*

Curly, on the other hand, is a great example of agency. I like how you balance his grogginess with his helpful personality. He really does care for his friends, which is a constant that always shows itself in his dealings with them. Also, good on him for trying to call her first.

Curly, boys aren’t allowed in the girls’ dorms – the stairs turn into a slide . . . oh, wrong fandom.

Well, he is a tad overzealous in his friend goals, isn’t he? I mean, go Curly, it’s all very well and good, but truth be told he’s very, very caring. I mean – oh wait – personal visit to a girl’s dorm in the middle of the night. *grins* Go on, Curly, go on.

I’m happy that he possesses enough self-awareness to know that he doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries and is probably overstepping them without realising them. Seriously, do not piss of that girl . . . the slightest drop of liquid will turn her into a squawking ugly duckling and she will peck out your eyes. Rose is very dark. #TheDarkSwan

I both love his naivety and her exasperation. Speaking as someone who graduated high school with a fair share of volatile relationships under my belt, I can safely say that it doesn’t matter if the entire school is having orgies in the assembly area. If one new couple spends the night together, them rumours are going to start flying, no matter how hypocritical. It’s just the way humans work. We love gossip, deep down, and even if we dislike it, we still listen to it during lunch or whenever. Poor dears . . . also, I want to know about all these possible couples. Something tells me sula is playing royalty bingo trying to bag herself a kingdom since all she currently has is a . . . ship, maybe, and an undersea cave that may be on a timeshare with the other Queens of Darkness. (Yes, Once Upon a Time references will always come)

They’re going to kiss by the end of the chapter, aren’t they?


OK, you got me. From the moment that nightmare started, I was hooked and couldn’t pull away to keep up my commentary. A shame too, since I had such snarky knee-jerk reactions (One that springs to mind is that Curly could feel Rose’s bed bounce under him – naughty royals) – Otherwise, though, I must say that it was the perfect combination of the two of them. I loved it all and have no other words for that exchange, although, I must protest at the notion of Curly turning to dark magic. Bad idea, bozo, you don’t have the mettle to walk that road.

Who else thinks we may be seeing Darth Curly soon?

And it was all ruined by Curly’s silliness. *Sighs* What conceivable reason could he have for spraying spit on her hand. Good that she kicked him out. Hmmm, let the people talk, and I don’t care if he thinks it’s all very cute because, knowing Rose, this is a very serious blow to what he built with her last night. Also, Rosary is still a thing.

-Ciao Mate
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