I'll make a prediction. Esera will have a quest to conquer the Hutt space. It will bring her galactic fame. In addition, it will be a good place for her to improve her ground and space warfare skills. Esera will move closer to becoming a Jedi Lord. accidentally. It will be funny.

Hey!
I know that you said you have some
Issues with how this story is written. Maybe that’s true. I don’t really see them. See, with all your experience, you probably are a harsher critic of your own writing then say, someone who just reads and has little to no writing experience. Oh well. I would just like to say thank you for sticking with this story. It’s been one of my favorite Star Wars fan fictions and I appreciate the time you’re putting towards it.

Are you still continuing this story?

I think the Confederacy might win the war. I mean, the Republic has lost a lot of soldiers, equipment and planets and most of their spies have been killed or forced into hiding.

I honestly can't wait for the next chapter, Chancellor Tarkin is going to get a very ugly surprise. I also can think of an outright brilliant idea to start off the battle. Throw a relatively large asteroid at the orbital habitat where Moff Tarkin is at...at Hyperspace Deceleration level speeds. If the asteroid is large enough, at the velocities we're talking about, it won't care a whit about what you put up in front of it.

Decapitation strike; there's the Surprise, fear, and intimidation all rolled up in one nice easy to use package. I can actually see Chancellor Tarkin when he's told about Eridau wanting to throw something because all of a sudden his grand plan to win the war and turn the Republic into the Empire will have been shattered badly.

This might also buy sufficient time for the Confederacy to put together a few more Subjugators.

You haven't forgotten about the cloaking device. After receiving the Scimitar and cloaking technology, this is not mentioned after. At the time of chapter 53, there are no results yet.

I have been greatly enjoying this series since I found it last week.

Some notes I've put together:
I adore this fleshing out of Grievous and Kaleesh culture, and his capability in combat is very consistent with how he was in the 2003 cartoon. Evil idea; plating himself with a thin layer of cortosis or Phrik. It'd make him even more of a perfect jedi-killer, as they'd have a hard time actually hurting him with anything short of a laser cannon. (Sidenote/Slight bit of headcanon, I feel like cortosis used to be able to be synthesized (alloyed, maybe?) during or just prior to the age of Revan, considering how nearly every military vibroblade back then HAD cortosis weave. It also made sense, considering Sith back then were still a large threat on physical battlefields.)

The interpretation of Mandalorian culture is also pretty close to what I consider to be acceptable, and you've even given an actual reason as to why those insufferable pacifists refuse to allow Mandalore to regrow, though I still find that 2008 series retcon to be very annoying, considering it was a concerted effort in old EU to actually get Mandalore to a liveable state before the clone wars even kicked off. Still, you made it work, and that's a respectable effort.

I do hope that you might touch upon Rhen Var at some point. That system has a lot of interesting lore to it, and could potentially have the means to stop this 'seed'. That, and it's a cold world that would probably very nice for Esera.

Some things I hope that may appear in this series at some point:
Battle Legionnaire droids - a fun limited-run set of badass killing machines commissioned by Spar when he defected to the CIS and got a bunch of Mandalorian Protectors to do the same.

L8-L9 - While one of the prototypes were destroyed by Ventress early on in her career (I still maintain that TaggeCo made several working prototypes), I feel like they could be a remarkably good investment as terror weapons (considering the plasma cannons and flamethrowers they come stock with) from TaggeCo if Tarkin decided he needed something to complement his new toys.

Captor-class Cruisers - a somewhat obscure piece of Trade Federation history, these would be excellent light carriers (or pocket battleships, especially if you turned the front bay into an upscaled SPHA beam array, much like what you had Grievous pull earlier on) with mild refits. Additionally, the Trade Federation had a shitload of the things back during the Stark Hyperspace war (You did briefly feature that particular infamous individual in this story, after all), so it could serve as a stopgap until Oceania's class of ships could be constructed.

B3 Ultra Battle Droid and CB3 Cortosis droid- the CIS had a few of these around, and while not amazingly effective outside of very specialist roles (and pretty expensive by CIS standards), they could be handy in an operation to contain and destroy one of those new Republic Knights.

Lastly, and certainly not least, I recall that HK-47 (according to Star Wars Galaxies) would be on Mustafar (getting prodded at by Neimoidians, if I recall correctly) at this time, so maybe his appearance could be a useful turning point if he could be persuaded to join the CIS. After all, he's a four thousand year old killing machine that specialized in Jedi extermination, and I am damn certain that his thought matrix was constructed in a similar fashion to a Holocron, sith or otherwise.

Ok just curiosity but do you plan to include any romance in Esera's story? I know that this is a serious story (and a great story too btw) but it seems that you're kind of in between on whether to include romance in Esera's story or not. Also, similar to some other reviews, I would also argue that you should at least include more droids in the future chapters, or at least include Esera's astromech droid more often. I know you want to focus this story more on non-droid and non-clone aspects, but that being said it would be really interesting to more interactions between regular characters and droids, including battle droids. It would be nice to see battle droids portrayed less as comic relief characters and seeing them interact with other characters apart from cases of conflict, similar to how clone soldiers were also portrayed outside of battles and war zones in the clone wars show.

Excuse me, is Palpatine's chancellorship over? Amedda was authorized for 3 months and Tarkin for 4 months. Does this mean that the day of chancellor elections is approaching? Or could Tarkin delay the election? I forgot.

It's a real shame we had to go with the utterly generic trope of not killing our enemies because the rest of the novel is great.

As an anonymous reviewer said that the father/mentor figure doesn't survive until the end of the story, I'll be dismayed if Grievous dies before the final chapter or epilogue. I will say, as a reader who was looking for a story about Grievous.
This might be a little disappointing.
Yet I'll wait for the galaxy's darkest day. And after him a dazzling dawn after darkness.

[review cut off, see below]
being told, regardless of the issues it has. Will I be disappointed if this story is never finished? Absolutely. Will I understand? ...I won't insult Timewatch by pretending I would; after all, I don't know him, or even anything about him (except that he's apparently "a crotchety old internet boomer, full of spite and malice," in which case he will either not believe a word I just said - which would be wise - or think me a fool for writing it - which would be astute). However, I'd like to think I could try.

I've been meaning to share some thoughts on this story for quite some time, and this seems as good a place as any to do so. I normally dislike commenting on a work before it's finished, but this isn't really a review anyway; just three very long-winded thoughts in ascending order of importance. I wish to briefly clarify that I regard this story quite highly. Indeed, while I wouldn't call it the best "Star Wars" fanfiction I've had the pleasure of reading, it's probably my favorite, partly due to how creative and unique the premise is: how would the CIS rebellion have turned out had those who had genuinely believed in the conflict been allowed to carry it to its end? That premise alone is immensely creative, and it's rather disappointing that there are so few attempts at anything similar. I would say that Timewatch's execution of this idea is a testament to his talent, not the least for his fantastic depiction of the CIS. This story has managed to completely transform them in my estimation from just "the prequel bad guys" to a tragic faction with high ideals obfuscated by the greed of its backers. While I suppose it doesn't surprise me that most marketing of the conflict depicts it as very black-and-white, it makes perfect sense that a war where both sides were controlled by Sidious for the purpose of grooming the galaxy for his takeover would hardly be one where things could be neatly divided into "good guys" and "bad guys," particularly when one considers that the side that wins does so due to being better suited for Sidious's dictatorship. I truly think Mr. Timewatch to be immensely talented, and I eagerly await the "shameless promotion" he has said he will do on this story for his original work when he gets around to it, so that I can swipe it and thus monetarily support him. Now, as for my thoughts:

First, and least importantly, the characterization of Grievous. Now, there are only three versions of him from the Legends canon that I am at all familiar with: those by Gennady Tartakovsky (Star Wars: Clone Wars), James Luceno (Star Wars: Labyrinth of Evil), and Matthew Stover (Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith). Each one offers a different perspective in some fashion, but there are at least three key characteristics that carry over from each one: immense physical prowess, a tactical genius, and a robotic mind. The first trait is probably what Tartakovsky's version is most famous for; after all, he is depicted as almost effortlessly dealing with six Jedi all by himself, two of whom were Council members (albeit after he made sure to have fear, surprise, and intimidation on his side), clearing an entire room of clone troopers with such swiftness that none are able to react to him, and beating down Palpatine's Jedi guards. He is so fast that he can dodge Force attacks (at least somewhat) and was only humbled by exceptionally powerful warriors like Tyranus and Windu. Luceno's version is if anything even more powerful. He holds his own against Windu in single combat, effortlessly sweeps through a much larger contingent of clones assigned to protect Palpatine, and deals with four Jedi simultaneously with ease. He's even shown tanking lightsaber strikes on his arms with almost no ill effect. Stover's is canonically the same as Luceno's, with the only real difference being that he was fewer feats due to him not doing much in the story aside from dying. However, he is still depicted as moving faster than the eye can see and being completely impervious to the weapons used by his guards. All three versions also affirm that Grievous is a tactical genius. Granted, this is something we're shown rather than told, but it's made pretty clear through the interactions of other characters that Grievous has scored a number of impressive victories, and is the leader of the CIS military not merely for his ruthless utilitarian callousness (and extravagant displays of violence that helped Sidious cultivate the climate that he desired to rule over), but because he was a legitimately intelligent military leader who was greatly feared by his enemies. Finally, and I would say most importantly, is how each version depicts Grievous's organic qualities; or, more accurately, his lack thereof. Stover especially explains that Grievous no longer possesses the capacity for true organic emotion, only experiencing an imitation of such things. This was because he was not designed to feel; he was designed to provide the galaxy with a warmongering face to take the fall for the conflict and further solidify Sidious's rule. This is corroborated by Luceno, and depicted visually by Tartakovsky. After all, Tartakovsky's version barely spoke, and although he seemed to possess enough organic quality to do such things as gloat and grant his enemies "a warrior's death," he nonetheless is depicted as an efficient terminator who is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish his mission. Now, obviously, all three men played loosely with this rule - Tartakovsky's Grievous is prone to gloat, Luceno's is described by Tyranus as having been filled with too much rage, and Stover's depiction seemed to genuinely despise the Separatist ruling council - but that does not change the extremely robotic way in which Legends Grievous was portrayed overall. Indeed, I would say that his depiction lined up more with how Khan is handled in this story than anything else. I bring all this up because, rather interestingly to me, the only one of these traits that this story's version of Grievous really possesses is his tactical genius. Granted, battling Yoda is arguably more impressive than anything the three versions I described above have ever done, but Yoda's strength always seemed to lie in the Force itself rather than his skill with a lightsaber, and it seemed pretty clear to me that Grievous was losing the fight before Komara and Murshida showed up. Tartakovsky, Luceno, and Stover are all careful to show that using four arms to fight instead of two is not something Grievous does often - Tartakovsky's presumably did so to speed up his mission, Luceno's desired to make his battle more interesting, and Stover needed to line up with what the movie did in that regard. However, in this story, Grievous uses four arms with some frequency, seemingly doing so whenever it becomes clear that he will not immediately win a fight. He's also depicted as far more actively emotional than the versions I have described. Although it is not stated, the impression I got from Luceno and Stover's narration was that some of Grievous's brain had been replaced with computers, rather than merely linked up to them. Instead, this story implies that those "computers" were merely a few chips inserted into his brain, hence why he still is so organic in his mannerisms. Now, I should mention that he still acted organically in Legends as well; however, there was far more ambiguity in those actions as to whether he was following an organic mind or a computer. All of this to say: I find it interesting that, for all of Timewatch's obvious dislike for the 3-D Clone Wars show, his depiction of Grievous - as well as many other things, I think, though I don't know as much about them - is somewhat more in line with it than with the version from the Legends canon. Now, I get the impression that Timewatch isn't too fond of that iteration of Star Wars either, which is understandable (however, Matthew Stover's "Revenge of the Sith" novelization is phenomenal, and I will not compromise on this position), but given how he seems to dislike the Disney canon far more, I find this interesting, nonetheless. Of course, it's easier to give a dynamic character to an organic person than to a stoic terminator with highly specific programming and directives. Not that it's impossible, but I understand not wanting to deal with such a headache with arguably the deuteragonist of one's story. I should be clear that none of what I have written here is criticism; rather, observations on the part of someone who particularly enjoys Grievous as a character in his appearances (when he's written well, which is rather rare).

This next part is criticism, and it is basically an outline of some problems I had with the most recently completed arc of this story as of writing this: the Mandalore arc, more specifically how it ties into the progression of Esera's character arc and the plot overall. Before I proceed; one arc I'm not incredibly fond of does not diminish my opinion of either Timewatch or this story by a notable amount. Frankly, if Timewatch's last note is anything to go off of, any criticism in this segment that holds water and isn't just me misunderstanding basic storytelling and falling prey to the Dunning-Kruger effect is probably something he's already aware of anyway, making my points redundant. It's also worth mentioning that I take issue with the pacing and character decisions, not Timewatch's prose. I also feel the need to clarify that I actually really like Timewatch's original characters. Although I certainly concur with some other commenters that there is character bloat and that not all the original characters are memorable, I nonetheless enjoy their interactions, and, for most of this story, found Esera a fairly compelling protagonist. Now, some people who read this story noticed that Esera in this arc is, to be frank, rather annoying. She frequently makes poor, short-sighted decisions despite knowing full well how idiotic they are, and yet persists in them due to her finding it emotionally satisfying. However, although I found this turn for her character annoying to read, I was willing to give it a fair shake because I thought I understood what was being done with it. After all, Esera's character struggle is largely one of principles versus power, and it made sense to me that there would be a point in the story at which her conviction would wane significantly, and she would have to truly confront the idea of giving up on her morals for the sake of commanding power and respect. The story made it clear over and over again that, for all of her devotion to the morals instilled in her by her master, Esera craves respect, as human adolescents do, and it made sense that Esera would experience this kind of struggle when she had become significantly stronger than the first time she had given in. I assumed that her struggle to fight off the temptation of the Dark Side in her battle with Potkin, combined with her complete defeat and Murshida's injury, would force her to finally reflect on her decisions, and have to make an effort to work on her flaws. If she still needed some aid in moving past this petty, juvenile stage in her character development, Grievous would take her to task for her numerous failures when he finally received her report. Indeed, I was quite looking forward to this confrontation; even ignoring the familial bond Timewatch has attempted to create between Esera and Grievous (quite successfully, I might add; indeed, successfully enough that I know that Grievous will be lucky to make it to this story's climax, let alone it's ending; the father/mentor figure never survives, it's practically a law of fiction), Grievous would have numerous reasons for sharply reprimanding her at best for her conduct. This is particularly the case since it could be convincingly argued that it was largely Esera's fault that Mandalore fell to the Republic in the fashion it did. Admittedly, the military force the Republic had brought in was probably great enough to seize the planet even without the leaks on Esera's end, but it would likely have been far more costly at least. Not to mention, despite Grievous's satisfaction with the beskar being temporarily out of the Republic's reach, and Tarkin's frustration with said circumstance, this is still a Republic victory; eventually, the beskar mines will be reopened, and the Republic now has Mandalore seized rather than occupied, meaning that they can far more effectively stymie any CIS military operation in that direction. The position of Mandalore went from uncertain to ironclad. All of this made it seem obvious to me that Esera was going to be severely admonished for allowing the operation to slip as much as it did, especially considering that Grievous rebuked her earlier in this story for the ramming maneuver she pulled, pointing out that, despite its success, the fact that she and her crew lived was practically luck, which one cannot count on to see one through battles. So I was quite surprised when he seemed actively confused by the criticism of her performance he viewed from her crew and his Office of Safety and Information, and in the end, was only mildly irritated that she had withheld information from him. I was also astonished by how unconcerned he was at the numerous corroborating accounts of Esera's flirtation with the Dark Side considering how he has made it clear in interactions with her and (more importantly) others that he despises the Sith and those associated with them. I would have thought that this would lead him to consider her temporarily unfit for duty and order her to do whatever she needed to clear her head if she wished to continue in his service. As Grievous himself has pointed out numerous times, he knows that he cannot trust a Dark Side user to act in the greater interests of the military he commands, and the mere fact that Esera has flirted with it to the extent she has means that he shouldn't be able to trust her as much as he had previously. If that wasn't enough, the fact that she is proud enough to withhold vital information from him in her report should have tipped him off to this regardless. All of this to say: I was willing to put up with annoying, petty Esera because I had assumed it was leading up to a harsh reality check where she would be forced - by Grievous, her crew, herself, whatever - to finally follow Dooku's advice and look inward, having realized that her refusal to do so was causing her to fail at both of her wants - respect and ethics - as well as costing those around her - Murshida's injury. Instead, it seemed that all that happened was a light slap on the wrist and a return to the status quo of Esera and her crew waiting around for their next mission, while Grievous, Tarkin, and almost every other perspective in the story actually do things that move the plot along. It's for this reason that the Mandalore arc is probably my least favorite in this story; it ultimately lacks a substantive payoff for the character conflicts and contributes little to the overarching story due to the destruction of the beskar mines taking them out of the narrative for a while (unless the fall of Mandalore - again - is a really big deal in the Star Wars galaxy, in which case my ignorance is what's keeping this event from having much impact). Now, it was inevitable that Esera had to fail in a big way eventually; although her last few victories were, admittedly, by the skin of her teeth, they were still victories nonetheless. Since she is an actual character with an identity of her own, and this isn't some power fantasy (I don't think; it is a very odd power fantasy if it is), she needs to have a point where she fails at the task she sets out to do so that she can have a low point that forces her to confront her demons. This is why, although I was somewhat taken aback by how easy Potkin's overall victory was (which is a praise, by the way; indeed, even if I have issues with it, the tension that Timewatch managed to build with how easily Potkin knocked the legs out from under Esera's plans was excellently done), her defeating Esera herself so easily was not surprising (also, side note: the moment Murshida entered that fight, I knew he was going to be incapacitated at best. He's not just a mentor character, but a formidable one capable of fending for himself. His character practically screams "kill me" to the furthest reaches of the universe, to the point where his survival genuinely surprised me. Not that I'm complaining; his quest for enlightenment seemed incomplete, so his surviving to continue pursuing it made sense from a character standpoint. Also, I have a weakness for old characters who have worked all their life toward a goal they have yet to achieve). To pull this meandering mess together: the Mandalore arc seemed to contain the perfect setup for bringing Esera down to her lowest point just as her moral fiber began crumbling, potentially setting up the climax of her arc where she finally has to choose between the selfish pleasure, yet respect that the Dark Side seemed capable of granting, or sticking with the principles of her master and the true Jedi despite all opposition, yet instead concluded with the status quo still mostly intact on the part of this story's main character, with the main changes happening in the background with the Republic. Now, it's totally possible that everything I just described is very close to happening, and I'm jumping the gun, which is the innate risk of commenting on a story before its completion, and part of why I usually don't; I'm making an exception here partly because I don't know how much longer this story will receive attention from its author. Speaking of which:

Finally, and most importantly: Timewatch is absolutely correct in his observation that no one who read this story had to pay for it. However, I would point out that also means that he does not owe it to anyone to finish this story. I say this because the latest author's note, when taken together with those he has left previously, have me questioning whether it even should be. I understand that I am one individual - a stranger - on the internet, and should not be concerned about matters like this, but Timewatch's frequent comments about his waning interest in Star Wars compels me to ask: what was appealing about Star Wars in the first place? After all, the monumental incompetence of the new films and a great deal of the new canon does not mean that the original trilogy, or even the prequel trilogy, cease to exist, nor does any other great piece of Star Wars media. Admittedly, I'm a Tolkien fan; consequently, I don't relate to being a fan of something with an ever-changing canon and am rather more familiar with external interpretations that do not affect the source material itself. However, I suppose I just don't understand why bad content made under a beloved brand suddenly makes the entire franchise worthless. Those good stories that made the name mean something to people are still there, and people throwing them out with the bathwater only increases the risk of them being forgotten with the filth that tainted them in the first place. All of that aside: while I disagree with the idea that only "art for art's sake" is true art, there is something to be said about the necessity of passion; and if the author's notes are anything to go by, the completion of this story is no longer an activity of passion, but one of necessity, something that just has to get done so that Timewatch can move on to better projects. I suspect that Timewatch is the sort of individual who can't just leave projects to rot (few artists are). However, as mentioned above: no one is owed this story. While I, and probably many others, would be greatly disappointed if it were never finished, I, for one, would rather Timewatch write stories that he is satisfied with than what he seems to regard as an anchor keeping him from moving on to those he wants to tell. After all, he doesn't owe anyone an ending (to my knowledge. Maybe there's a personal reason he needs to finish it, which would be a lesson about why never to assume you know things you do not; not that I was ever a good student). Now, I'm sure that what I'm saying here is nothing Timewatch hasn't heard before or considered himself. I am stating it here to offer the approval of someone who is a member of the audience and thoroughly enjoys the story bei

Story moves to its climax. I hope that Esera will soon tell about her master.

Although for Tarkin and the rest of Palpatine's supporters, except for Aspar, I expect death from the Seed. Artifact of dark side must clearly influence their minds.