Hmm it looks like switching to escorts did mess up efficiency like i thought. Although it's from the separatist view so i can't be sure.

Lol i can see it now. "Join the separatists we have elves".

Ah never mind it's the death star.

Lol Esera wonders why people think she's unapproachable. though in her defense she has just spent the last few hours angry. That can't be healthy.

I do like my nuance in my stories. Especially my villains although it's also nice when the heroes decide to be heroes of love and justice not mercy so to speak. So, it doesn't really affect the story for me.
However, I'd like to point out that it would be very hard for Star Wars to get its philosophical message across without incorporating a lack nuance as a part of its point. Seeing as Star Wars is a criticism of the moral foundations of our world by flipping them on their head by creating a false dichotomy scenario where the jedi are objectively correct.
If you are curious about what I mean you should check out the video "The philosophy of Kreia" and the makers other videos on the foundations of Star Wars and the philosophy of Jolee Bindo.
While the obvious answer to Star Wars is to choose a middle path that is neither Jedi nor Sith there is a lot of reasons in character for why it isn't that easy.

I was besides myself laughing when Grievous said "leave's canceled forever". It's just has such big grinch energy coming from him. And the captain's response was perfect too. It was like he canceled Christmas.

Lol Tarkin is fucking up his side something furious. Speaking of that. I know that Tarkin decided to stop imperators from being built and switch over to consular class cruisers. However, was that a good idea? I know that he needed more escorts immediately, but supply lines don't work like that. You can't just order everything you need in bulk and cancel everything you don't need immediately. if you are not making something all the time employees trained in that task, get laid off and expertise and equipment quality flag. Meanwhile the Cruiser lines will need to hire new workers on short notice while working with rusty experts and being in need of getting equipment to restore new factory lines. It's a dreadfully inefficient process which is why the USA for example run ammo lines much larger than they could ever need in peace time, because they know they won't have time o build them during wartime. I'm just wondering if this is supposed to be one of his mistakes or if he lives in a world where RTS games economics are valid.

Still regardless we now know that despite his seeming change of heart Tarkin loves big ships and he can not lie.

Are racial slurs for aliens allowed here?

The scene where Ventress is refusing to believe Obi Wan exists was gold. Classic "Hello there" energy.

The king and queen was taking a big risk there. For all they knew Grevious would kill them all for not agreeing before the invasion.

Hmm yeah I figured it would work out that way. My prior message was probably pointless what with it being made so far after the chapter it was meant to critique, but hey bright side it's not like I hate it when people are likeable, and things go fine with no drama. So, it's not enough to pull me out of the chapter.
Personal drama that is. That cruiser is probably going to hurt.

Hi, I'd like to tell you I've really enjoyed your work here so far, and that I've liked many of the numerous things I've seen. It's just I don't tend to review when things are going great so don't let this review give you the wrong impression. In fact see it as a compliment that it took this long for me to review. I even like what you've done with Ahsoka so far in story it's mostly your notes that are setting things off for me, because while I believe you got early Ahsoka down. I don't agree with your assessment of Ahsoka's latter character development if the notes are anything to go by.

I think you are wrong in the fact that Ahsoka has already grown and questioned everything she has ever known. I think she has seen both sides of the world. The good the bad and the grey and that she has made an informed choice on what she believes about it. It's just that she has come to a different conclusion then most in her shoes would come to given that information. For you see Ahsoka like Esera decided to double down on what she believed. It's just that what she believes in is the jedi code the council abandoned instead of something close to what earth would call a healthy moral balance like Esera.
Seeing that this story in no way approves of the current jedi order I can understand why it would be hard to accept that someone would look at the jedi order and rationally conclude they aren't jedi enough, but Ahsoka left the order because they had abandoned the code in taking a more moderate path because they feared if they didn't the war would destroy them not because she thought the jedi code was flawed. She left because they bowed to necessity while in her mind the jedi should have followed their ways even if it destroyed them. To her mind she is still a jedi and she acts like it, in her mind it is the order that has stopped being jedi. So, treating her like someone who's faith has been shaken seems quite out of character.
If you are determined to continue your current path of portraying the jedi as an organization that must be destroyed or reformed, then the more in character thing to do would be to portray Ahsoka as a rogue fanatical Buddhist cultist then some misguided youth. Ahsoka is as likely to sway from her ideals as Esera did in front of Yoda.

I know this is likely the opposite of the problem most people are having with Ahsoka, but I do agree that this arc of forced character development is completely unnecessary as she already had a complete character arc. The fact that arc is a complete circle that left her where she started only slightly wiser and older shouldn't invalidate that. If you believe her to be wrong, make her wrong. None of this "oh she'd be a good person if only she knew how the world really works" shit. I find that insulting because by this point she knows how the world works already. The only reason she is fighting only the separatists is that she thought that people like Tarkin were a minority in the republic instead of the majority she would learn it to be with the rise of the empire. So really learning how corrupt everyone is should make her double down harder in her one-woman crusade against what are now two targets. Not to consider if the CIS has a point, because she already knows that they do. She just doesn't care. The evil they have done has countered any point they could have had. And so she would reject them on principle just like Obi wan did, and for the same reason he did. That in fact is a good comparison for why i find your model of Ahsoka to be off. It's because you seem to view her to be a mini version of Anikan, When in reality she is a mini fusion of both Anikan and Kenobi.

Now like I said nothing in story so far really contradicts what I said. It's only the author notes that lead me to believe otherwise, so if those were just exaggerated provocations directed at your reviewers instead of legitimate belief I apologize for the inconvenience.

Also, a large enemy battleship is in orbit, and Grevious just sent no backup to take it out? What did they think was going to happen? That they were going to succeed without the battleship doing anything?

Ok, the plot idiocy is getting severely out of hand. Why did Ventriss run away if they are just going to help the Mandos anyway? Is it just to set up a fight scene that didn't need to happen because she could have just called the ship from the start? And seriously? Being told that to of your crew has gone rogue, no one fucking reacts? Despite knowing there is a plan for sabotage?

How did two traitors overwhelm an entire ship and take over the droids? Isn't the droid computer guarded and not accessible to anyone? Why was the pirate captain even in the negotiations instead of on her ship? How did 2 random ass pirates contact the republican ship when Tanos had trouble contacting Eresa?

This is honestly just like the Disney sequel to star wars. It's just a bunch of scenes with transitions to go from one to another, regardless of any sense.

Dude, why is Esera closing off again? We've been through this, multiple times. Character development isn't repeating the same character arc over and over again?

Why did everyone become useless. Essentially 2 Jedi and a full crew couldn't take out 4 troopers. And Esera couldn't take out one.

You can't just have them be as useful or useless as plot dictate.

Are they really just letting ventriss go? He kidnapped a diplomat and killed at least 1 person. Like, WTF?

What's with all the jedi having idiot balls to drum up drama? Yoda literally knows Esera is not a darksider. A lot of characters are honestly acting way OOC just to stir up conflict.

Honestly, I love the story, but this decision out of her is really immoral. Letting a known war criminal commit more war crimes, and continue trying to murder her is her enabling war crimes.

The only thing needed for evil is for the good to do nothing. And she has chosen to do nothing.

50 000 is considered a book. I'have read 10 and a half book of this. I'have no regret.