This is better than the previous version, and I honestly like how confusion has spread among the upper echelons of the CIS. Plus, the Jedi feels more believable this time around.

A beautiful rework is in progress I see! I've been waiting for you to return to this story for years! I would've reviewed for chapter 1, but I was afraid to jinx myself. In any event, after Esera's eventual defection, will there be an increase in other defections as well? Also, are you going to include the Mandalorian Protectors or perhaps the Death Watch? Bo-Katan seems like the type of person Grievous could use on his side, while Mandalore the Resurrector seems like someone who would really fit in your "shades of gray" storyline. You'd have to arrange it so that the recent victories would draw him out of his defeatism, but it shouldn't be too hard. As for Bo-Katan, her status as Pre Vizsla'a former second-in-command and Satine's sister gives her a unique position as someone for the Separatists to use in taking over Mandalore as a front; though how open she'd be to their entreaties depends on how desperate things are on Mandalore and whether her antagonism was directed solely at Dooku or the whole of the Confederacy. Personally, I think she'd only have a minor amount of resentment towards the wider Confederacy.

Well, here's hoping for another chapter this Friday!

Goodnight!

Wait a minute, what happened to R2-D2

Good job. One question: How can Palpatine be dead, but Sidious be alive? They're the same person!

I wonder about this interaction with 'crab-man':

Grievous already has his blocks out, so why really unleashing such a torrent of hate towards him?

Also, I really hope that Grievous will visit his family before some vengeful clones'd wipe them all out) That part was even more anti-climatic than Ashoka's death, in my opinion)

Hm...Let it begin once again. Wonder what will become of Obi Wan...oh please don't tell me Shaak Ti isn't going to be a defector.

I have read your original story and had no problem with it. just as I will have no problem with this one don't delete your original but keep it up there to remind yourself of what you intend to create now. you are not the first nor will you be the last to do this make one story and then later on due to reasons of their own recreated a story. but nonetheless continue on and keep up the good work.

I remember the original iteration of this story from years ago. I liked it then, even with all of its flaws and I was disappointed when it went on hiatus. I look forward to seeing what you do with it now that you're giving it a second chance.

The original story has its good moments and bad ones. I feel that if you truly wish to improve it, you should focus on the development of Grievous and let Asokah live, perhaps in the nearby future? Obi Wan alive certainly changes things. I do hope you update soon.

From Houston
D4RK

This is better written than the previous iteration, though Grevious's victory was rather anti-climatic. I'd prefer it if you spent more time to develop his character this time around, and to possibly stick to the same perspective, as echoing the thoughts of characters is rather boring to read. I'd also prefer if the situation wasnt quite so black-and-white either, with Grevious being overly heroic or an utter asshole, vice versa for the Jedi, as both sides are intended to have both positives and negatives.

That was great , it is a shame I hadn't had time to read your original story, or maybe I did but I think it had never been finished. Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter!