Reviews for Fate Plays Chess
Guest chapter 16 . 7/12
This is meant as constructive criticism, so please take it that way. ‘The reborn woman, the redhead girl, the Uzumaki, the child, the rose haired girl, the girl.’ Listen, I love descriptives as much as the next person, but there comes a point when there can simply be too many of them. These are all Shiori. She has a name for a reason, and has a new life. Yes, she used to be a woman in another life, and she has been reborn with her memories and that has basically caused her to never be a child fully. Everyone reading your story knows this main character was reborn into the world. We will not forget. There is truly no reason to again and again call her ‘the reborn woman.’ You have even done this in the same paragraph as calling her the girl or another descriptive. It is really mind boggling. Please, if you have any care whatsoever for the feelings and opinions of your readers, choose to leave this out in the future. I honestly like your story, but whenever I see that, and it is very frequent, I feel on the verge of closing out of the story because it really is bothersome. I’m assuming you don’t have a beta ( if you do, then I would be quite confused about their priorities), but it always helps to get a second eye reading over a writer’s work. I wonder if I’m the only person to bring this up to you? Maybe you won’t care, but I feel a bit better already for having written this. My writer’s soul feels a bit lighter :)
Guest chapter 15 . 7/12
I enjoy this very much, but I have to tell you it is grating to (what seems like) constantly see you reference her as “the reborn woman.” We know this already and the repetitive reminder just takes a reader out of the story. It sounds quite awkward. Please consider dropping this habit if you continue writing this story, I would be most grateful. On a more positive note, I was very happy to see Shisui introduced because he’s a character I find interests me a lot.
Guest chapter 7 . 7/12
A pretty obvious mistake you made was calling Gai, ‘Guy.’ I would try fixing that if you’re still writing and this is very enjoyable so it’d be a shame to leave it like that when you could improve it.
24Irinia chapter 25 . 7/1
Превосходно. Продолжение будет?
Roro33 chapter 25 . 6/14
Awesome like always )
DearChibico chapter 25 . 6/12
Oh geez Shisui gon make me cry reminding me of my childhood #relatable
Kazukimi chapter 25 . 6/11
I love Shiori, she's perfect. She's my favorite SI OC.
Tachi-chan's crush on Shiori is so cute. Minato too. I like how Itachi and Shisui learn about life and what is important with a little help from Shiori. Orochimaru-sama is... I love him in this fic. I hope he will stay in Konoha and will help to kill Danzo.
Guest chapter 25 . 6/2
This is a masterpiece. I have no other words to say.
Lady Syndra chapter 25 . 5/19
*fingers crossed* Hoping for a new chapter soon!
mabidiso chapter 8 . 5/13
I LOVE Orochimaru's new life! So so so freakin' funny I can't stand it! Cramp...crap oh cramp! My sides are killing me. This is worse than a tickle attack by Kushina and Minato combined! Holy hell that's so funny! Damn straight a big ass boar doesn't have a traffic problem for long. Love so much that Shiori tossed her lunch up on Kakashi. Looks like the relationship between Obito and Kakashi will be vastly different as they bond over Troubles with Shiori.
fanfictionfan456 chapter 1 . 5/7
Very good plot please continue writing
Lemontea-addict chapter 25 . 5/2
Shiori is my new favorite! I love her! This is just so humorous! I wonder how you will make Orochimaru Be in this fic. It would be so sad if she couldn’t steer him clear of his obsession. But oh well. I can’t wait to read more! Keep up the great work!
Beyogi chapter 25 . 4/25
Overall an interesting story, but Shiori just doesn't work as a character for me. She's both too bitchy and very much a typical female Naruto SI.

I hope it gets better as she grows up, but considering how slow this story is developing that'll probably never happen.
drinkkbleach chapter 25 . 4/12
the end of this chapter was honestly the cutest, I've been following this story for a while and just wanted to say that it's utterly amazing. you have such a humorous writing style and you keep to Shiori's age rather well despite her intelligence, I absolutely love it! thank you so much for writing this and sharing it with us all, we all appreciate the effort you put into this xx
smilesy chapter 25 . 4/11
Minato is such a sweetheart!
335 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »