Reviews for Ohana
Teazer9009 chapter 1 . 5/29/2004
That was so sad. you should see how bad i am crying right now. Did you add something from'the land before time'? just asking because thats what made me cry! I love your stories that are some of the best ive read oin this site.
Hobbit-lover-03 chapter 1 . 1/9/2004
OMG, that was so sad. I'm crying, that's how sad it was. Good job! Every powerful to the emotions. Poor little Merry! (
Analyn 100 chapter 1 . 8/22/2003
This so sweet, you can't help feeling bad for Merry. Well, actually, you don't have to feel bad for him because his mother isn't dead according to Tolkien.

All of Biblo's guests at the Party, were underlined in the Family Trees of Appendix B, and they were only underlined once. So while she wasn't underlined in the Brandybucks Tree, Merry's mother (Esmeralda Brandybuck) was underlined for the Tooks, since she was a Took by birth. Also, she is speaking to her father-in-law, Old Rory Brandbuck in the first chapter of FOTR, on page 30 to be exact.

You had very good emotionlal descriptions in this story, which really got my attention. But next time you should check your sources (namely Tolkien's books) first before writing a story based on his works, and you should also check your grammer, but I won't be too hard on you here, since I'm not the best editor of my own stories either!

Keep up the good work.
faramir in ithilien chapter 1 . 3/6/2003
PLEASE! PLEASE UPDATE! I'd read Rusta IIra and was awaiting this story. Please update!
MistressHolbytla chapter 1 . 2/5/2003
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SOB! So did this occured BEFORE your story called Rusta Iira? Well, I guess that's pretty obvious. Are you going to write More Naar or whatever that was? Is that like a sequel to Rusta Iira? Pleze write more sequels and stuff to that story! It was like the best in the world! Um... I liked this one too! SOB! *Goes to cry in a corner.* POOR LITTLE MERRY!
Kaeera chapter 1 . 1/25/2003
Waaah! Sadness! *hugs Merry* The poor hobbit...so much sorrow...*sniffles*
Siofra1 chapter 1 . 1/18/2003
Oh my god, what is it with your fics and the way they make me cry? *huggles Merry* Great story... very sad... *tear* Poor Merry... There will be more chapters, right? *looks worried* Right?
MorbidCuriousities chapter 1 . 1/14/2003
Fweet!NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoooooo...poor Merry...That was really sad...Looking forward to the next chapter...
Kit5 chapter 1 . 1/14/2003
Nice job and excellent description. But now for the critical part... you need to watch spelling, and to make sure you use the correct word.

"Dying" not "dieing"

"It doesn't effect him..." You need to use "affect". "Effect" implies you are doing the action, "affect" implies the action is being done to you.

"Too" instead of "to."

Spell checker is great, but it doesn't catch the grammar errors.

Sorry to throw that in but the story was very, very well done.
spontly chapter 1 . 1/13/2003
Whoa...unexpected...and sad. There *is* going to be a next chapter right? RIGHT?
M. D. Jensen chapter 1 . 1/13/2003
why even tryand resist? intedof puttingthis on favorite stories, i'll just put youon fav authors.

(i think you can tell that i like your story
Ninie-san chapter 1 . 1/13/2003
Oh... so sad! Continue, please!
HaloGatomon chapter 1 . 1/13/2003
*Halowould just like to make a note that she was at work while reading this chapter...well...at work but during the break time -*

*bottom lip trembles, gets huge teary eyes* Mustn't cry...can't cry...won't cry...*wails and latches on to Ty* OMG THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOO SAD!

*recognises the words from The Land Before Time and sobs even more* GAH! You've done it AGAIN Ty! How is it you can't make me cry so much?

Oooooooh pu-leeeeeeeeeeeease do the next chappie asap! Please! Please please! *holds up Chibi Hula-Dancing Merry plusie*
Merfy chapter 1 . 1/12/2003
I've read some of your other stories (and I will leave reviews with them, I promise) and I really enjoy your work. :)

However, Esmeralda did attend The Party. Her name is underlined in the Took family tree and in the chapter "A Long Expected Party," it is written:

"Neither age nor an enormous dinner had clouded [Rorimac Brandybuck's] wits, and he said to his daughter-in-law Esmeralda: 'There's something fishy in this my dear!'"

It is a nice story-perhaps you might want to specify it as an AU?