Reviews for Locked Away
Jmtx100 chapter 2 . 2/3/2016
What I have to say is... this story is great!
I know it's maybe a little early to admire your work since there are only two chapters, but man I love your story! The way you put the "coma" thing into it and how you developed Misty's personality.
Nothing more to say, I'll just patiently wait for the next chapters. Keep your great work!
thor94 chapter 2 . 2/3/2016
coud be interesting, but some coma theory fic aren't managed very good.
because canon universe is supposed coma, so beside few kanto pokemon and people ash know, you can't introduce coma peoples and pokemon as real in the true world. Excepted if you use a plot twist like ash coma dream has been created by way the real world has a gym leader brock raising his sibling after abandonned by his father, or a rocket trio with speaking meowth, or misty having 3 sisters, or a may and dawn become skilled coordinators, etc.
ash never meet them so they can't exist.
Dragonsdeath66 chapter 2 . 2/3/2016
I love this story so much.
Farla chapter 1 . 1/31/2016
Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

"It's" means "it is". "Its" is the possessive form.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," she said or "Hello!" she said, never "Hello." She said or "Hello." she said or "Hello," She said or "Hello" she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. ("Speak" is not a speech verb.) In that case it's written as "Hello." She grinned, never "Hello," she grinned or "Hello," She grinned or "Hello." she grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," she said. "This is it." not "Hi," she said, "this is it." or "Hi," she said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," she said, "is it." The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don't use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

["How are we paying for this?" He asked suddenly, catching his companions off guard.
"...we never pay?"
"how?" Ash said flatly, looking around the restaurant. ]

They do pay, though. We know because it's pointed out any time the meals are actually free.

I like how you show Ash's world stuttering, it's pretty creepy, but it's disappointing this stops short of showing what the real world looks like. As-is, the chapter doesn't really add anything beyond the general coma theory. Showing him waking up would at least establish if he even started off in the pokemon world. And the ending was a really bad idea - just having the world fade out would be better than the terrible "cliffhanger" of the plug getting pulled when your summary says he wakes up so we know there's nothing to be concerned about.
Dragonsdeath66 chapter 1 . 1/31/2016
Love this so much
Neith Mistress chapter 1 . 1/31/2016
Wow! Such amazing start. I can't wait for the rest of the story. Simply wow!
ameriboo chapter 1 . 1/31/2016
very interesting! coma!theory fics are classic
Mrs. Nose chapter 1 . 1/30/2016
I love how you described Ash's state of confusion. It felt incredibly dreamlike and I could see everything playing in my head like a movie (and that rarely happens to me! I suck at visualizing things in my head).
I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.
And I'm really happy to see that you have a new fanfic already! I was so sad about "All I want for Christmas is" and "Spitfire" ending, you have no idea!

About the coma theory, I've only read one fanfic about it before. It was good, but really damn sad. It was called Fray by Aureillia.
I've read the coma theory just now. Man, that's crazy!
But some things kind of make sense(?) -runs and hides from the fandom-
gio08 chapter 1 . 1/30/2016
Interesting... very interesting
DragonFelicis chapter 1 . 1/30/2016
This is definitely something to watch. I haven't found any stories on the coma theory and even though I don't believe it, it was always something I have wanted to see. You have done this masterfully and I'm sure many people will be waiting eagerly to see how you write this world.
Chaos239 chapter 1 . 1/30/2016
Loving the start of this story so deep and dark!I love it. After I finished reading I got an awesome idea for a story where Ash wakes up from a coma that Darkrai sent him into on orders from the good old God lama Arceus to see how Ash would do as the chosen one and when he wakes up he has to fill his duty as the chosen one in real life!but I'm terrible at wring so if anyone wants the idea take it but give credit where it's due please!otherwise awesome story!FAVOURITE!
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