|Reviews for Mystic Knight Online|
| all forms of fluff chapter 8 . 9/11
First time thought-ch.8
I think I've read enough now to know that I am not enjoying this story. The idea behind it is cool, even if the time lines are fudged. I was expecting some for of "mysticism" to have happened. And aside from the device given to Dumbledore there has been an exceeding lack of magic used in this story at all. I'm not calling for Harry to be a master Red Mage right out of the box, but its been months in the game and he hasn't even tried to do magic? Is there going to be no magic in this story? If not then this isn't really a Harry Potter story, its just SAO story with some kid named after the famous wizard. I guess this means I won't be finishing it at this time. There just hasn't been anything that has appealed to me so far and I don't feel up to slogging through uninteresting setup chapters to get to anything that matters. As this story is complete I can't see how this will matter to you either...so yeah.
| Dunedain ranger of the north chapter 10 . 8/26
Alright I give, please tell me who the boss was?
| RainEStar3 chapter 17 . 8/19
Looks like I cut myself off by mistake. By the previous-and this chapter-I've noticed at times characters acting differently. Harry curses a bloody lot given his age, especially since he's not always doing it at highly stressful times. Maybe in this universe the Durselys were worse and he picked it up from them?
Also, some characters are making observations/assumptions that make little sense and yet are taken seriously. Like Silica realizing that Harry's teleport was magic. How is he using magic in SAO like that? And how would recognize that as magic? The event and observation don't make sense, and Harry just admitting in a moment of weakness... eh. Not as much of a big issue for me.
Argo's a kitsune. Well, cool. Maybe relevant?
I still like the story, but some of these things I'm hoping to find logical explanations for what's going on.
| RainEStar3 chapter 16 . 8/19
Been liking the story, unexpected since I normally don't care for HP crossovers with anything. But by this chapter
| Mernom chapter 26 . 8/17
I'm not sure that I can continue reading this. The characters feel extremely OOC,tye conversations are rather inorganic, and for all that you mentioned in your profile page on how you don't like rabid shippers, the way you write your characters certainly makes them feel like rabid shippers.
The end fight between Harry and Voldie was very anticlimactic. Bot particularly satisfying, it almost feels like you put it there just to get it done with so you could move on. The overall plot idea is not that bad (although I do have some questions about it ), but tye execution could use some work.
as for the above mentioned question... Why did Lucius want Harry to get sent to play SAO specifically? If he had the resources to contact that group to temporarily remove him, why wait? I mean, Dumbledore found him as soon as the evening of the launch say. if the SAO incident didn't happened, the whole 'sending him into SAO' part would be wasted, since he'd be playing for one evening, and the go home. If this is the expected outcome, not staying in one place and moving around more would keep him away for longer. The only possible explanation I can see ATM is that Lucius is related to the SAO incident happening... But Kayaba doesn't appear to have an altered motivation or anything, so that's doubtful.
lastly, if you're including additional characters from additional fandoms, at least mentioning the fandom in questions once is recommended. I recognized the Ranma stuff, but not the American characters. And since I don't know the name, I don't know what to look up. Character names don't always work, since more often than not, they are not unique to the story in question (and when they are, it's usually the case when the story is recognizable at a glance).
| Mernom chapter 24 . 8/16
Before the throw of his mighty shield, even the strongest enrmy shall yield... Oh sorry, wrong story.
| Mernom chapter 22 . 8/16
Rain's exposition portion this chapter was quite long...I employed the most accurate scientific measurement method known to man, looking at the displacement of the thingi at the side if the screen, and came to the conclusion that it was almost 20% of the chapter. This is not the first time, too. Those kinds of scenes can get really boring if they're too long. As they say, 'show, don't tell'.
Also, I was just watching the SAO bloopers compilation, and I realized how similar your characters sound to what I've heard there. Considering that the bloopers see the VA's fooling around and making OOC jokes (at least the ones that weren't recording mistakes), this is basically what I meant when I said that your characters feel OOC earlier.
| Mernom chapter 20 . 8/15
The joke a about Harry and Silica being a married couple... It just doesn't click for me. It doesn't feel organic.
| Mernom chapter 18 . 8/15
I don't think I've seen Rain being used yet. Even by an author who uses alternative canon in his stories quite often... Funny that.
| Mernom chapter 17 . 8/14
1) Watching every single thing the players are doing, recording it and sending it for others to watch is a bit creepy, when you actually think about it.
2) Those interludes get a bit dry, since you're mostly reiterating things we already know through another character's POV.
3) I'm not sure what to think about Dumbledore giving that speech during the latter part of the chapter. Isn't saying things like this in an open sitting a breach in privacy?
another small thing, somehow, with how the events over in Hogwarts resolving that well, it almost looks like everything that went wrong in 'The prisoner from Azkaban' was Harry's fault.
| Mernom chapter 13 . 8/14
I wonder how things are going in Hogwarts. Harry not being there should induce several changes. Is Sirius going through die?
| Mernom chapter 11 . 8/14
I don't know, Sometimes the characters still feel off. Especially during exposition.
| Mernom chapter 10 . 8/14
I think that I know who that field boss was. Plus, I KNEW I recognized some of the names thrown around in the interlude chapter... I just forgot to mention it in that chapter's review.
| Mernom chapter 8 . 8/13
hmm. Would targeted splicing via apperation work? after all, splicing is the act of leaving some of yourself behind, so just leave the device?
Although, there's probably no one who has the correct skills to pull this stunt. People are usually taught how to NOT splice, not how to direct it.
| Mernom chapter 7 . 8/13
I like how you actually brought up the language barrier. It's getting handwaved way too frequently.
I also can't really place a voice on Harry.