I tried very, very hard to continue slogging through this story. But from the very first chapter you placed several enormous walls between the readers and the ideas you were attempting to portray.

I read through the comments and reviews and youve chosen to take the worst path possible; ignoring the majority in their feedback and review of your work.

The very first thing you should change, more than ANYTHING else, is add to your stories tags and to the summary THAT THIS TAKES PLACE IN ARTHURIAN TIMES AND NOT IN FUYUKI DURING ONE OF THE GRAIL WARS. Without adding that warning what is to stop hundreds of us from not understanding why shirou is being mentioned in such strange ways, why things seem archaic and confusing, why the setting is disjointed and scattered. Its at least half of the continous negative reviews of the first 3-4 chapters that saturate the comment section.

Using a different name for the most established character in a series where that character has become synonymous with its image is a choice you have as an author. You are fully aware of how terrible that choice was, i have to believe you just decided to be stubborn and use a made up name for Arthur Pendragon.

Even through more chapters there was barely any movement of whatever the story could be. Thats the problem. Theres no mystery or rising action. Merlin and the knights are trying ti figure out who killed morgana and follow reports of a major treat. It is almost immediately revealed shortly after that they know they are following Mordred and just cant keep up with her leisurely and often injured pace. Bam, just after that its revealed who killed Morgana while several people are still investigating it. It just kills any interest in the investigation because we cant celebrate with Merlin when he connects the dots further and further, we already know the answer. So you have two major plot points that could have carried a lot of weight and led to very interesting intersecting points and dropped the angles completely.

Maybe you salvage that down the line. But you didnt carry it enough to get many many readers to that point succesfully.

Look, theres a lot more. But as a fellow author i dont want to sit here and make you feel attacked. What ill end with is that its okay to ignore a certain level of criticism. But when it becomes a larger percentage of them and a consistent complaint across the board… you need to listen more closely to your readers. It sucks sometimes to change something tiny or even rewrite parts of stories but sometimes, sometimes thats entirely for the best.

Good luck on futute projects.

Great

This was such an amazing read! I’m going to check out more of your work for sure! Hopefully there’s more picking up where Shirou and Mordred left off before she becomes King! Does Merlin ever revive Vivian? Does he still get stuck in the Reverse Side of omthe world? Does Mordred have kids with Shirou or what about Filvis? So many questions!

I know you finished this some time ago and are in the midst of a rewrite but I still have to say how much I enjoy these battle scenes with the internal monologues of the combatants. You have so much talent

Rhongomyniad is great and all but if we're only talking about pure power EXCALIBUR is beter especially if it's full power with no seals.

I’m wholly invested at this point. I like the different take on Shirou.

lord of cinder

Ah shįt…she’s aiming for Guinevere

Uhh…isn’t Vivian the lady of the lake? She’s fae and the one who gave Excalibur to artoria? She ain’t human.

Yesss. Mordred conquered her dark side naruto waterfall of truth style!

So mo-San is the ship for shirou. I’m okay with it,I’m just sad that the lonely king will remain lonesome with no one to save her like shirou did. Unless youre going the harem route cuz of his Harem protagonist EX skill,Wouldn’t mind that too because artoria can be happy alongside hisher son?daughter?

So it was Elaine saved.

Wait…He said ‘intimate’ moments… is this why mordred said she ain’t a virgin anymore? Have they fuçked before? AHAHA! I wonder how canon artoria would react to her son has been fked by her lover! Ahaha! If there’s omakes here I wanna see!

Answers gotten now.I’m enjoying the story now

This chapter made answered some things . It’s not as confusing anymore. All that’s left is the past training and raising SHIROU trained mordred in.