|Reviews for Innocence lost|
| FreePalestine chapter 10 . 5/16
You are dead. Not big surprise.
| Invern chapter 1 . 5/10
When will you update?
| mazen of Syria chapter 1 . 4/22
What? Did you forget the firefighters?
| Tortillacrumbs chapter 10 . 4/2
Damn I just remember this fic existed, and forgot the author never finish it. Way too wholesome
| TeotakuFantasia chapter 9 . 1/13
| Guest chapter 10 . 12/7/2020
| S10MC2015 chapter 10 . 8/21/2020
I absolutely love this fic.
It is so good and heartwarming.
I really wish it was concluded though.
Thank you for the chapter!
Thank you for the chapters!
Thank you for the story!
| chatey1025 chapter 10 . 3/19/2020
I love how the story was told. It is very heartwarming. I hope that this can be concluded
| TeotakuFantasia chapter 10 . 1/26/2020
I hope we will see next chapter
| Kumo Doushin chapter 9 . 12/21/2019
Ok I didn't know you can only post 1 review for each chapter in FFN. When was that change? Anyway, I copy and paste my review from chapter 10 here:
It's a been too damn long since I logged in and I still love rereading this story.
Although it's a good place to end the story I still have a lingering hope that someday you will continue updating this fic because I absolutely adore your fic! Hope you're doing well irl!
| gobing2992 chapter 8 . 11/19/2019
You, my human, are something else. I do not know when you post his story, but know that you are talented as f...
| shadbin10 chapter 10 . 10/24/2019
This is... incredible! You have done what hundreds have failed to do so in their fic! YOU HAVE DONE JUSTICE! You are the greatest my friend. I actually wanna hug you no homo but I actually wanna hug you I'm so happy you just made my day!
| J-SECTION-L chapter 10 . 7/9/2019
Please update I'm begging you
| Kumo Doushin chapter 10 . 9/22/2018
Okay I know I'm late to the party, but after reading this I just have to give my thoughts on it. I'm fairly new to the world of fan fiction or literature in general, so please take my opinion with a grain of salt.
Firstly, I think your premise is really interesting and your starting chapter is solid. And I was right investing into your story. You set up a scenario where Hachiman and Yukino had to act as guardians to Rumi who was involved in an unfortunate accident, which resulted in Hachiman saving her and bringing her to Yukino for help as the only logical conclusion to take, given the situation and Rumi's physical and mental conditions.
This lead to both of them acting as her guardians and as time went by, they both learned what it takes to be good parents, while also learning about each other and their relationships. This is simply a heart warming story backed up by your great delivery.
In chapter 8 and 9, I noticed that they started addressing each other by given name. I thought this was part of your inconsistencies in writing the story but I'm glad chapter 10 gave the reasoning for that.
In chapter 10 you changed POV from 1st person to 3rd person starting from when Yukino and Rumi went back from their trip, but then went back to 1st person when Rumi called Hachiman informing him that Yukino had gotten fever. This continued throughout chapter 10.
I personally feel that I much prefer consistency when reading. 1st person POV's advantage is that the story is told through the character directly so readers feel closer to said character because we can explore what they are thinking, whereas 3rd person is great for action-themed stories where the author can easily tell different things happening in the story without being chained towards one character at a time.
This is what OreGairu canon used and so did yours, and you did a good job at that. But I feel that staying with one character's POV at a time not only would flow better, it also would've had more impact. For example after Yukino's sudden confession, Hachiman embraced her. It would be great if it was told what Hachiman was really thinking at that time, something like:
"Please go out with me. I want to stand beside you. i want to hold hands with you. I
want to be there for you... Always, from now on."
She confessed in reminiscence of the boy who once asked for something genuine. In
that moment the invisible wall I had put up between myself had all but shattered.
My body began to move by itself and I embraced her, wrapping my arms around her
waist. I could feel her gasped taken aback to what happened but quickly returned my
hug with hers by wrapping her arms to my back. She leaned further onto me,
dropping her head into my shoulder as if feeling the last of her worries wither away.
I realized what we both needed all along.
I finally lifted my head only to find my eyes met hers inches apart from each other.
Her blush became more pronounced on her white, porcelain skin. I felt myself
trembling from self aware of our proximity but remained locked in the embrace. I
recalled staring the same eyes back then at the infirmary, though this time I'm afraid
it won't end the same way as before.
My instinct then took control and let the moment progress to what it would naturally
lead to. I slowly leaned forward while she closed her eyes readying herself until our
lips finally touch.
Or something along those lines.
I think I can see your thought process when writing it because if you went that route, you are only focusing on Hachiman and can't tell how Yukino is feeling and what she's thinking in details.
Despite all that, I can still understand the story just fine. Hell, I've seen some fic where the author changed POV so frequently in one chapter that I thought, "who the hell is narrating the story now?" and proceeded to press the back button simply because how jarring it was to read.
The thing that I really like about OreGairu is that it is a philosophical, yet light hearted story, and I envy those who can replicate it. You managed to execute the philosophical aspect of the story really well, and it shows that you've done your research.
In conclusion, I love this story. Thank you for the beautiful writing and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters :)
| Lio chapter 10 . 8/9/2018
That's great! I really Enjoy this chapter. I had waiting for the new update until now, thanks.