Reviews for Her White, Pink, and Brown Knight
CrimsonMystic chapter 35 . 6/26
Wow that was the cutest thing I’ve read in years. I literally set out today with the thought ‘you know, there aren’t any fluffy neo romance fics’. Three seconds later I stumble on to this
My only problem in this fic is that I ship Ruby/Weiss, but otherwise...
KyuubiGokuCookie chapter 6 . 4/5
Of course you said it out loud
Guest chapter 35 . 3/18
It was fun to read
powermaxwax chapter 35 . 3/10
loved the story
it was sweet like ice cream
Arcivus chapter 13 . 1/25
wouldve been funny if his tombstone said "I slipped..."
John Fowler chapter 27 . 1/25
Then Volume 4 came out and we find out Nora and Ren came from Kuroyuri
Some Dumb Kid chapter 35 . 12/4/2017
OH MY GOD! That was AWESOME! I love how this was written, I love the story, the characters, EVERYTHING! Even the not-so-subtle jokes about Pyrrha’s death (cries of denial everywhere haha) This story was so good, in fact, that I am considering changing my username to “I need me a Neo”. Thank you for this beautiful piece of fluff and action.
The Ethereal Wolf chapter 35 . 11/16/2017
Overall, I did enjoy this story. There was a huge glaring issue in the middle of the story, you probably know what I'm talking about, but as you said after you made it... no use changing the past, though I do think it was completely unnecessary and that you could have done it differently. After the middle chapters I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy later chapters because the events of said chapters remained ingrained in my head. It may just be my mindset, as I prefer positive type fluff fics to stay just that and for darker fics to contain what you went for, but I absolutely enjoyed the beginning chapters and would read it just for those.


I recommend that people do read this, but I warn anyone who actually reads reviews before hand... If you are looking for something that is positive and fluffy all the way through, this may not be your kind of story... There are brief (and I mean brief) themes of captivity and rape (or sexual harassment of some sort, to be honest as soon as I read the words I just skimmed it out of disappointment)
Sebine chapter 35 . 10/21/2017
Sebine chapter 34 . 10/21/2017
you mixed up Em and Cins names, amusingly.
Sebine chapter 13 . 10/21/2017
The art is d'awwww-dorable
Kittybabygirl315 chapter 16 . 10/8/2017
Guest chapter 34 . 9/29/2017
Now this is probably my 3rd or 4th time reading throught this story. That in itself should be a testiment to how much I like this story but every time I do a read through of it I feel disapointed and let down. Before I get to that let me discuss what I liked about the story. First and foremost I'd need to say the intercharacter dynamic. This is where your writing truly shines through the banter of the characters and it was amazing to see you take on the challenge of having a character who is not able to speak still portray idras and emotion in a realistic manner. Characters are also good although they aren't expanded upon too much from what they are like in the source material and the first half of the story is positively incredible. Now let me explain my disapointment(which mainly stems from those last two story arcs). I agree with the other reviews that this could use another editing session as there are a few curious and not easily overlooked grammar errors as well as some sentence structure issues pertaining to the overuse of commas. Although, none of these are deal breakers. The next issue that I have that's a little bit more urgent than the grammar in my opinion is the scope of this story. Although this started off as being a love story between Neo and Jaune I felt that it massively strayed from that path in the second half of the story without really contributing too much to the original goal(jaune and Neo's relationship). Oc's could have been fleshed out more in perticular Jack's character who is just kind of there with no explination of why Neo knows him and then shows up again at the end with no explination. Fight description and choreography could use a lot of work as I feel like in the second half of the story when the scope of the story begins to expand more and you include more detailed fight scenes I feel like you start to lean too heavily on anime tropes which look good on the screen but sound bad in writing. I did not like Jaunes family and the way they were introduced and described as I felt like many of them were cliches. In the middle when you are discussing Phyrrha being "pierced by cupids arrow" I would recomend removing the author's commentary as I think people would still get the joke without their immersion being broken. I would also say that the ending feels rushed. There is a lot of information and events that are referenced to in the last chapter that simply feel like they are missing entirely from the story (Jack's death, the wedding, who everyone else ended up with etc.) Overall the saddest part was that the ending didn't give the closure that I hoped it would. Now, I feel like as my last point I need to address the elephant in the room which is the Roman Torchwick plot arc. I personally hate it. It feels shoehorned in, there is no build up to it, there is no emotional ramifications for what happens, purpose for characters actions are missing entirely (why did Neo first side with Roman in the fight and then suddenly switch?) And most importantly it's such a jarring shift in the tone that normally I just skip over those two chapters when I reread (although I read them this time as this was my review read). All in all I would wholely recomend a rewrite of this story. As it stands right now I would have to rate this story a 6.5/10 but if it ever gets rewritten and my concerns addressed I see the potential in this story to get a 9 or even a 10/10.
Rekyuu chapter 35 . 9/27/2017
am i the only one waiting for a reading bout this fic? hope not
a loud snipper chapter 31 . 8/31/2017
liked the fma reff. really hit the feels hard.
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