The idea of Alex running Omnicorp is an interesting one. A very unique angle. Again, I'm seeing some missing punctuation errors, plus there's inconsistency with Liara's age; earlier she was identified as being one hundred and three, but later she was identified as one hundred and six. I'm also getting the impression that Liara is romantically involved with Alex(?). It's an interesting chapter so far.

I see Tali has now entered the scene. I can't help wondering, though, given the fact that Alex is a cyborg, shouldn't she be more fearful of him? There are also some grammatical errors as well.

Looking good so far, although there's missing punctuation along with some spelling and grammatical errors.

Very promising start so far. There are some grammatical errors and missing dashes here and there, plus scene transitions should be more apparent through the usage of stars, ellipses or horizontal lines, but so far this has potential. I look forward to seeing how this story progresses.

I know you've stopped writing but personally I'd save both Kaiden and Ash, Shepard saving one and Murphy saving the other, Wrex in this story sounds like he'd be reasonable about the Krogan Clones on Virmire, probably say something like "Shepard/Murphy I'm fine with Krogans being soldiers, warriors, even the occasional monster, will never be slaves." I think Kirrahe, the STG officer, can die though I think it would be better if there were no friendly casualties for this mission.

And I can see that Executive Officer Pressly might be Indoctrinated, or he might be a Cerberus agent, or he just hates non-humans that much. Any way you look at it, he just screwed the pooch.

Rip rachni, I always saved her. Also rip storyguy, but I hope this is continued so I can listen to the Robocop soundtrack again

That story actually makes a lot of scene

F spartus

I like to think Wrex's gun is just a remodeled ED-209 Arm Cannon, and now I'm wondering if they got some Cobra Assault Cannons.

Update soon please and I don’t think you should kill anyone off on virmire

Nice work

Dun, dun, duuun...
You're the Writer, this is your story, to go as you see it going. I think that if you just focus on putting to paper your vision of how the story should unfold, all will be well in the end.

Well that's one way to end a chapter. I'm not terribly worried though, cloning technology has come pretty far in canon Mass Effect (to say nothing of any additional advancements here) and unless I'm mistaken Rachni have genetic memory.

Ooooh, or even better, Robo-Rachni!

Oh and, uh, well personally I wouldn't kill anyone off, but that's just me. Definitely don't have the mental fortitude to make such a decision myself.

I love your story. Do it!

Wow! Twist and turns, I'm really enjoying this so far when I had some doubts about a Robocop crossover but great job!