|Reviews for Forever My Partner|
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/6
cielos a los dos pobres les paso un trailer pobrecitos
| armysugakookie chapter 1 . 10/17
i love it!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/21
cielos gran aventura
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/12/2018
The people like you who treat and portray Nick the way you did in this story make me sick. The “punching bag Nick” and “always hero Judy” tropes in this fandom needs to fucking die already.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/2/2018
en las buenas y malas asi es la verdadera y unica amistad
| HS1 chapter 1 . 12/11/2017
I like it quite a bit, and I've always been a sucker for Judy-telling-Nick-about-her-past fanfics. Her past experience with the one red fox she had known explains her distrust of Nick. Whether or not her discrimination of Nick was 'right', I think it makes sense. If something hurts you, you remember and take care not to get hurt again.
I'm not sure I would've said Judy was 'terrified' of preds prior to the Gideon scene, though. She snarked back at him during the play pretty easily, as well as enlisted other preds to take part in her play. I don't doubt that she stereotyped against them in one way or another, perhaps believing them to generally be more aggressive, or sly, or whatever. She was more open-minded then her parents (even in the beginning) as she wanted to beat the stereotype she was labelled with. While she was also afraid of Gideon during her encounter, I'm not sure that day 'haunted' her, either. I think she used her encounter with Gideon to draw strength in her challenges in becoming a cop; she didn't want to be bullied anymore, and she wanted to be more than a meek cute little bunny, and to do that, she had to become better than Gideon. I do think her fear manifested itself subconsciously, as she went for the fox repellent the second Nick raised a paw at her (which isn't shocking - the last time that a fox had done so, she had her cheek scratched up), and I do think she at least subconsciously stereotyped preds as generally more vicious and savage even if she for the most part covered it up. Rather than being outright discriminatory for the most part, she would do things like tell her parents, "I took the fox repellent so you would stop talking." So I'm pretty sure she didn't even acknowledge her discomfort of red foxes until she realized she was both afraid for a narrow-minded and hurting others by being afraid. After that point, I think she could draw the conclusion that she didn't trust foxes due to the trauma she sustained as a child, even though she had mostly used that fear as fuel to achieve her goals.
Nick's pain with the extent of his injuries makes sense - I wasn't sure what to make of it at first, because he likes to hide his emotions and everything - but given that trauma addles the brain somewhat, it works.
Also: I'm glad to see a fanfic where "it's not Nick rescuing Judy! Judy can't take care of herself at all!" This was definitely refreshing in that sense.
And I agree, I like it as a one-shot. :)
Overall, great work!
| techno02 chapter 1 . 6/2/2017
really nice job!
| Karen chapter 1 . 4/18/2016
Like it, I just don't like how reactive and weak u made nick. The injuries made sense I just hate how u made him scream so much. And please,next time, don't use a single bad word, if u did use one.
| mtampiquena chapter 1 . 3/26/2016
This is so awesome! Very well-written and you did do good in keeping everyone in character. Nick and Judy's conversation was great also. Love this!
| I'm speechless chapter 1 . 3/15/2016
Why do I enjoy seeing my favorite characters in pain
This was so goooooooood thank you for this
| EmmyGracey chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
I really enjoyed this, it even made me tear up a few times. Great work!
| Amanda chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
Really well written and everyone is in character!
I completely disagree with the reviewer a few below me. His or her's whole thing about keeping them alive seems to make senses, but you already established that the villains were obviously trying to torture them. And the whole thing about Judy hiding and then revealing herself? That's nearly exactly what happened in the movie! When she slammed the door on the Rams! That's just more proof on how everything's in character! The next two paragraphs he/she said make no sense to me either. But he/she spent so much time reviewing this, I won't even go into correct them..
"Decent emotionally" HA IT WAS A LOT BETTER THAN DECENT.
There's so much more I could say but I'm gonna hold back. I just wanted to point out a few of the reviewers mistakes, not to insult him or her, but to let you know you wrote a really amazing oneshot.
| Saphirabrightscale chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
Long one shot but really, really good. Well written, and yeah let's face it police business is dangerous work.
| BlueDove216 chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
I love this story. Great job keeping them both in character.
| Radon65 chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
I liked the idea behind this oneshot, which is why I decided to read it. Your writing style is pretty good, and I liked the opening bit, particularly the way Judy thinks about was was "supposed" to happen and how it didn't. I also liked their drink orders and how Judy thinks about her family and Gideon, and her plans for Nick meeting them. Things go bad with a good cliffhanger (although I'm wondering what their evidence is, it's not identified, but no big deal), and of course Judy gets the evidence but goes back to help Nick. You've got a strong opening and a good idea. However, I had difficulty with this story overall and had trouble taking it seriously.
My concern with this fic is that there are a number of occurrences that don't seem logical to me. When events don't make sense or occur without some explanation, my suspension of disbelief fails, which it did while reading this fic, pulling me out of enjoying the story. The first oddity is the fact that they get captured in the first place. Heroes being captured by the villains is a common trope, and is in itself no problem - in fact, it can make for fun times of danger and escape, which is what you've got going here. However, the villains generally need to have some reason for keeping the heroes alive, and act accordingly. I found myself puzzling over why Judy and Nick were still alive (other than plot reasons and the fact that two such cool characters should not die) and not understanding what the reason for their survival could be. The three most likely reasons that come to mind when a hero is captured is that a) the villain intends to torture them for information, b) the villain intends to use them as some sort of hostage/bait, or c) the villain is simply really sadistic and wants to watch them suffer before they die. Given how casually the raccoon decides to kill them, it seems unlikely that he needed them for anything (information or bait), which leaves option c, except then I'm not clear on why they left Nick and Judy alone together - to torment her? They did laugh as they left, so I'm assuming general sadism, but no one stayed to watch. I'm also unclear as to why they cut Nick up - was he conscious earlier, and they decided to torture him? As Judy thought, why him and not her? Given Nick's injuries, he might also be expected to die, and quickly if hurt any further, so were they hoping he would die and Judy would have to watch...? Their reasoning is never explained nor hinted at, so I don't feel like the villains' actions are terribly logical.
Judy then hides when they come in, but reveals herself by speaking to them. I think it would have made more sense for her to surprise attack them, especially since she's very quick. Giving them time to threaten Nick does not work in her favour, and I was also surprised at the fighting she does trying to save him. Not that she's fighting, mind - in fact, I appreciated her killing the henchmen, as it would make sense for her to do so to save Nick, and I liked that she did it so quickly, without hesitation. That was a good moment. However, one henchman has the gun pressed to Nick's temple. He could insta-kill Nick very easily, so Judy attacking the other henchman and having enough time to run at him twice and disarm him while the other just stands there also does not make sense to me. Why does the first henchman not just murder Nick and then shoot Judy, particularly since his boss just ordered him to do just that? I know that the protagonists need to survive, but when they survive through means that do not make sense, I cannot enjoy the story very much. Judy's concern over Nick was overall well done, and of course the whole muzzle angle adds another good layer of drama. That is an action that makes sense by the villains, as they would want to avoid Nick's teeth. I also appreciate that your characters are allowed to be legitimately scared here, as sometimes people write them as "too badass" to be afraid. Judy and Nick are both realistically freaked, and I particularly liked how, early on, Nick screams from his injuries and Judy screams along with him. Her distress felt quite real.
Later on, as they get outside, I'm confused by the action that occurs once the boss and the henchmen corner them again. I liked that Judy got shot at that point - it made sense, and the moment was well written. I'm confused about the characters' actions after that point, however. The boss states that they're going to die, and then puts away his gun. If he didn't intend to get his paws dirty, why is he carrying a gun, out and live? Judy then pulls out the gun she has, but doesn't use it - instead, she threatens with it. It's fine for her to threaten initially, but she actually lets one of the grizzly bears pick Nick up without shooting. That seems very strange to me. She actually never uses the gun at all, instead kicking the henchmen while she has a bullet in her thigh. While it's not absurd that she would have a lot of adrenaline at that point, it's odd that she would kick instead of shoot when she's holding a gun, and she seems to bypass her injuries completely, without even acknowledging them or the stress on her body afterwards. Then the fight itself was difficult for me to follow. There are at least two timber wolves (a number wasn't given), three grizzly bears, and the raccoon. Judy takes down two henchman, and then tries to staunch Nick's wounds while talking to him. There are at least four villains still active and standing about with guns, so I was surprised that Judy ignored them, and more surprised that they then did nothing to her. I also found it a little odd that the villains cared at all about Judy and Nick's relationship. I suppose they might find it funny, but at this point in the story, they've wasted enough opportunities to kill Judy and Nick that them standing around laughing about it was surprising and rather comical.
There are other, smaller things scattered throughout the fic that don't make sense to me. When Judy first wakes up, she can see well enough to realise that she's in the cage room, yet the description after says it is pitch dark. When Judy is carrying Nick along the corridor, she observes that they are leaving behind a trail of blood, yet then hides in a corner and they are not seen. Another one of the biggest sources of confusion for me is why they are in the manor where the 14 predators were caged to begin with, and if they are there, why are the timber wolves there? That whole operation was run by the mayor, so the timber wolves would have been employed by the government, not an evil raccoon. And since the government owned that building (or at least the mayor did privately), why would it be available as a villain base? There was a great deal in this fic that I did not understand, and which pulled me out of the story.
The aftermath in the hospital was decent emotionally, and I liked how Judy reacted to the nurse, etc. but there were further things that did not make sense. Judy wonders if she has told any hospital her blood type, but that seemed like a somewhat odd thing for her to wonder about, since if she needed blood, they would have typed her upon entry to the hospital or just given her a universal donor (assuming rabbits have a universal donor like our O negative). The amount of detail that the nurse gives Judy about Nick's condition would be unlikely in a human hospital given our privacy laws (and the Zootopia world seems to work like ours in terms of law and technology), but it's possible that Judy is on Nick's list as someone who can be given his medical information, etc. It would just be nice for the story's sake if that was mentioned, and could be used as another indicator of their closeness. I also got a bit confused further on, as the nurse explained everything that was wrong with Nick and made it sound rather dire, but then told Judy that she wouldn't worry. Judy then lit up in excitement about the fact that Nick was still alive, except the nurse had just explained that he was still alive by detailing his injuries and what the doctors were doing, which Judy seemed to acknowledge by saying that he would freak out about the muzzle (that was a good moment, by the way - I liked how Judy was unable to talk coherently, she was so upset, but the reader could get what she was on about), so I was very confused as to why Judy reacted as if she was finding out Nick was alive for the first time.
Nick and Judy's chat in his room was pretty well done, and I liked how they talked about Judy's past (although she shows no visible scarring in the film, so I'm surprised Nick asked about her cheek) and Gideon Grey. I like the idea of her and Nick talking about that and how Judy admits that Gideon was a red fox, just like Nick. And I especially liked the line where she said that she thought he was really going to kill and eat her, since she was obviously quite terrified in the movie, so that works. Nick and Judy interacting in the hospital and Judy falling asleep makes a good ending. Overall, this fic has some good points, but is flawed by confusing character choices and moments that do not make logical sense. Your writing style itself is fine, and the basic story idea is good. I would just take some time to think about why the characters are behaving as they are, and how you can make the reasoning behind their choices clear to the readers so that the story as a whole makes sense to them.