Reviews for The Unwanted One
spiffy2143 chapter 18 . 4/25
So happy you were able to update. This is one of my favorite stories. I hope clarice gets what is coming to here. Really don't like that woman! Looking forward to more of this great story.
julesa66 chapter 18 . 4/23
This was awesome. Bonding time for Severus and Harry. To bad he always has to share his father with someone else. It would be nice if for once he was the only one. Hopefully Severus will be able to get Clarice to stay away and her spoiled brat will grow up some. He is just like Draco. I could see Clarice trying to find a way to get rid of Harry and her son trying too. Hope she is not friends with any death eaters. Hope Severus will get to see the memories soon and get his memories back. Harry really needs to start confiding in him to help with his past and the present yime also. More than likely Ron won't be able to handle Harry not being a Potter anymore as usual. He is never a great friend for Harry. Not sure about Hermione what she is going to think. Looking forward to the next chapters.
teedub chapter 18 . 4/21
Gah! Stupid Albus and his stupid cursed hand. Doesn't he realize there are more important things going on?
teedub chapter 14 . 4/21
That was certainly a nasty curse. Very creative! I hope Harry being the whipping boy for all his abusers (I'm looking at you Snape) - quite literally in some cases - is over now.

I'm a little disappointed in Severus. He just doesn't seem to feel much remorse for his past and currents actions against Harry. Sure, he realized that he was "too hard" on Harry, but he doesn't seem to really feel bad about it. He is a child abuser. Full stop. I guess I had hoped to see something more from him. It still seems like he's doing this out of duty and that harry is a possession of some sort that he needs to take care of, or a weapon against the Dark Lord that needs protection, not a family member that is important in his own right. I still see the favoritism towards Kieran over Harry. He's much more indulgent towards Kieran.

But, I have a few more chapters to read to get caught up so anything could happen!
teedub chapter 9 . 4/21
I really like this story but I'm wondering where Harry's anger is. Most kids in his situation would have a heaping ton of resentment and anger towards Snape. Sure, he's confused and wants a father but what does it say about Snape that he'll only unbend a little because Harry was beaten bloody. Harry is still the same person he was before Snape found his injuries. And the obvious unfair treatment between the two sons that has been displayed, as well as forcing Harry to refer to him as "Sir", furthering the chasm between him and Snape and reinforcing the hierarchy with Harry on the bottom. No chores for Kieran, a better room in the "family" wing, Kieran gets to keep his broom and is allowed to act pompous and arrogant, the very same behavior that Snape condemns harry for but that isn't in existence.

IDK...I think there should be some anger and bitterness in Harry. It's sort of hard to believe that a kid in harry's position would just hand wave away every unfair word, every injustice, every hate filled encounter. Unless he really is broken.
xSapphirexRosesxFanx chapter 18 . 4/19
Can't wait for the rest of it! I really would like to read more.
Keep the good work.
Guest chapter 18 . 4/17
Just let him see the memories already!
C chapter 18 . 4/16
A much anticipated update and one that didn't disappoint. I really enjoyed Harry having the time with Severus that Kieran had previously experienced and learning more about his mum. Teasing ending but really looking forward to the next chapter.
SuzanneN chapter 18 . 4/16
Ahhh a cliffy! You are mean! :p
Nah, just kidding. Hope you continue soon though.
Pennieyoung chapter 18 . 4/16
Another great chapter for this wonderful story, thank you:)
Araly chapter 18 . 4/15
I really enjoy reading this fic, and wait with a bated breath for each new chapter. I like the most that while I read it, I can feel the pain Harry is going through, his fears, etc. My heart clenches with him. And it happens every time I read the story (and boy' I have read it more than I few times since I discovered it!), so I find this fic amazing.
The way you portrait each character is really believable, and the way Clarice and Kieran are showed here makes me hate them, yet I know they are not 'evil' or bastards for the sake of being that way, they are people with their own motivations and backgrounds. Sometimes, when I read fics, other characters give me this feeling of 2 dimensionality, or sometime even less, that makes me cringe and leave the fic unfinished. Sometimes I just get the feeling that they are being misterious for the sake of the plot -I don't know how to even explain it- but in this story, each one of them seem real, I want to know more about each of them.

About the last chapter you uploaded, I can't wait to know what's going to happen next. Are you going to incorporate the Horcruxes? The Deathly Hallows? It's Albus in trouble because of the Ring's curse?! And what about Lily's memories?! I feel you are teasing us with them ('Just when we were going to finally see them, oh look something happened!' and the only thing I could think was 'dammit, we were so close').

PS. The only thing that left me confuse, and it's just something really small, is the way magic works, or specifically one tipe of magic. Maybe it's because I don't speak english as my first language, and I'm missing something, but up until now, when I read about 'conjunring' something, I understood that it was like "creating something out of thin air", like a pillow, a glass, mirror (but not food), and i got the feeling that it wasn't possible to conjure complex things like potions, books, etc. But when Snape conjure the salve/potion a few chapters ago and now, when he conjured the book, it made me feel that it was more like a summoning, withouth the article zipping through the house until they reach destination (accio book) and more like and apparition or popping of such article into existence from another place of the house. And I'm confuse if I got it right or if maybe it's something else. I mean, why conjuring if it's more like a summoning? Or there's a diference? I know, it's a little stupid, but well, it bugged me a little each timed I read it an thus... I wanted to ask you about it?
I have to confess that I read the Harry Potter books in my language, so maybe I did miss something like this when I started to read fanfics in english.

Good luck and keep up with the story!
Guest chapter 18 . 4/15
Keep it up ! :-)
Kallanit chapter 18 . 4/15
I'm glad you rewrote the previous chapter, as I was thrilled to see Severus kick Clarice out. She's acting as though she's Severus' legally married wife, and of course, she's not. In fact she's a hypocrite - she and Kieran act as though Lily was a whore, but Lily was Severus' legal wife and Clarice is the one who had his child out of wedlock. The "illegitimate child" isn't actually something that bothers me, it Clarice's hypocrisy that sets my teeth on edge.

In a way, I was a little bit disappointed that you wrote out Kieran watching Severus and Harry in the library because I was looking forward to seeing where you would be taking that, but as the rewrite allowed for lots of quality father/son bonding between Severus and Harry, the disappointment didn't last long at all.

I was also really pleased to see that Severus was finally going to watch those memories - until he was interrupted. Dumbledore really does have the worst timing!

Both the rewritten chapter and this new one are very good, and I was delighted to read your update.
Autumngold chapter 18 . 4/15
Thank you for your incredible updates! It's so wonderful how well Harry and Severus are getting along. Will Kieran come back and ruin their closeness? His mother is a horrible person, I hope that Severus will be able to limit her influence on both of his sons. Outstanding new chapters! Can't wait to see what will happen next!
krosi chapter 18 . 4/15
This was a great chapter. Loved the Harry and Severus bonding time and looking through photos of Lily. Update soon!
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