|Reviews for The God of Death: Black Beginning|
| zombies.eat.love chapter 37 . 1/16
I think there's a chapter missing or something... it went from Hermione being in the room with barty to the epilogue..
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/6
Better not turn into light loving Harry or I will be pissed.
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/6
It’s rather disappointing that despite being raised by Voldemort you’ve decided Harry is to lack intelligence and even write such a nonsensical start. As if a child could flawlessly deceive political heavyweights and hundreds of people while joining the magical world as the long thought dead Harry Potter. A blood adoption could have solved these problems, yet here he is attempting to deceive Dumbledore. Harry was ordered to assassinate a Lord level wizard, but you seriously wrote that Voldemort did not do so much as compile a plan to do so. And Harry, raised by a dark terrorist group, did not immediately begin planning but simply agreed and carelessly went off to Hogwarts. A protagonist raised by Riddle could have infinite potential, but Harry is just a serious boy who happens to have been raised by the Dark Lord. Someone with his morals and outlook would never be paired with Hermione Granger unless she lost all faith in the light and authority figures at some point.
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/6
I really enjoy this story!
| Guest chapter 39 . 12/15/2017
Just found this story a few days ago. I am impressed. Nice spin on the kidnapping of Harry and his turn around.
| Guest chapter 30 . 12/15/2017
In an earlier chapter you mentioned plot holes. So why does Hermione erase the memory of her parents to keep them safe? It's not that knowing something about Hermione is dangerous for them, it is being known as Hermione's parents that may be dangerous. So it makes sense that they move to Australia and change their names, although it is unlikely that the Death Eaters would both know how to search there and bother to do it. The only reason to erase their memories is if either Hermione asked them to leave and they refused, or Hermione didn't even bother to ask. So Hermione, crusader for the freedom of house elves, doesn't think her parents deserve a choice after she made a decision for them. But then, house elves have magic and her parents don't, so that might be an explanation. On the other hand it makes sense that Hermione should not know where her parents are, because Hermione might be captured and information about her parents might become known.
On a different note, house elves are not slaves because they are not paid wages, they are (similar to) slaves because they can not quit. For example, indentured servants nominally get wages, yet they are basically still slaves. House elves get food and a place to live, and in fanon often other benefits from the magic of the wizard, so there is some compensation, it is just not in the form of money, and money is only useful as a means to get what you really want, you can't eat money. House elves either get something valuable from their service, or they enjoy their work so much that it is a reward in itself. You don't expect money for things you do for fun, although it is a nice bonus.
| Guest chapter 24 . 12/14/2017
You found one plot hole? The whole books are full of plot holes, unless Dumbledore is evil, then suddenly everything makes sense.
In the time between the Potters were killed, Dumbledore spread the news that Harry had somehow killed Voldemort, so that Harry would be famous. And this potential fame he used as an argument why he wanted to place him with the Dursleys. Harry's parents were dead, Harry was too young to remember anything, or to talk about it, Voldemort was not available for questions, in fact there was not even a body of Voldemort. The house was under the Fidelius, so how did anybody know that Voldemort was dead, that the Potters were attacked, that Harry survived? Why did Dumbledore send Hagrid to retrieve Harry? Hagrid has his wand snapped, what if there were Death Eaters around? How did Dumbledore know that the parents were dead, that Harry was alive? How did anybody know that Harry had a scar? Harry survived just because his mother loved him? Had no other magical mother enough love for her child to save it? Because if it happened, Dark Lords would know to be careful. Dumbledore thinks Harry's power is love, yet he made sure Harry would experience no love in his childhood. And just because Voldemort may or may not know about love doesn't mean he doesn't know about it or can't read about the dangers of killing people who love each other. I don't need to understand how a gun works to know that it is dangerous. The stone is guarded by traps that don't stop first years. The only real protection of the stone is the mirror, and during Christmas break, the mirror was in the castle for Harry to find, not in the last chamber. Was the stone at that time in the mirror, but without the other obstacles, or was it behind the obstacles, but without real protection? Why did Dumbledore leave on a broom in the afternoon, so that he would arrive at night at the ministry when there would be nobody there, if he had Floo, Appatition, Portkey and a Phoenix for instant travel as alternatives? Spending some hours on a broom is probably not convenient, and it was supposed to be urgent.
So if you want plot holes, pick some of them, or find some others.
| Guest chapter 8 . 12/12/2017
There is nothing wrong with an intelligent Harry. In canon, he was trained by the Dursleys to be worse than Dudley, if that is even possible. Here he was encouraged to learn, so why shouldn't he do it?
Regarding the surprise of Tracer that Harry is good enough for his NEWTs without formal education, he shouldn't be surprised, although it is understandable as he works in education. School teaches to the lowest standard. It is possible to give extra tasks to those who are better, but it is extra work for the teachers. So even if there are extra tasks for those who are better, they are extra tasks to fill the time and not subjects that will be taught in class later. So it should be no surprise that Harry already knows seventh year material. Anybody with average intelligence should be able to do that if he has individual tutors.
Schools are a good idea not because they are better, but because they are more efficient. Harry has a few tutors for one student. Hogwarts has 10-20 teachers and about 300 students. It is also possible that teachers are able to teach their subjects better, but in the case of Hogwarts, half the so called teachers are not qualified to teach.
| Guest chapter 7 . 12/12/2017
Dumbledore is really good at making a bad first impression, isn't he? He starts by calling him Harry, which he doesn't do with other students, he says that Flitwick needs his sleep, but obviously Harry doesn't. Of course, in this case it is not in Harry's interest to object to this treatment, because if Dumbledore treats him like they are familiar, he might in time come to believe it himself, but I wouldn't bet on it. Dumbledore's familiarity is more of the condescending kind, not the friendly. But that might as well fit into Harry's goals.
| Nate Cook chapter 2 . 11/1/2017
I can imagine Rob Ingles reading this
| Nate Cook chapter 1 . 11/1/2017
The writing style is super reminiscent of Tolkien's Lord of The Rings and I love it
| urdoom chapter 1 . 10/11/2017
this story is not complete
| LumenVulpis chapter 31 . 9/27/2017
A wonderful story ! You can't say that's not. But, for me, there is something missing ...
| PenguinAgen chapter 1 . 9/27/2017
First of all, great story. The writing is close to the top, not quite at the "indistinguishable from professional writing" level, but close.
The main thing I didn't like, was how agreeable to Harry's sense of morality everyone was. I understand Harry thinking that way, and I can buy most of Hermione's development, but most of the other characters accept ex. his killing of Neville far too easily.
There were some other things as well but overall loved it. Chapter 35 might be my favorite; Hermione's character development towards Harry was one of the primary driving forces in the story for me. I'm looking forward to the sequel, but I probably won't read it before more is published.
| Dr. Bunny chapter 35 . 9/17/2017
I really liked it until this chapter. I can't bring myself to read anymore. Hermione is my favorite character in the HP series. Good work.