|Reviews for Across Space and Time|
| MaidensTouchOfMadness chapter 2 . 6/2
| Nightingrave chapter 1 . 5/5
ahhhhhh honey this is great, but you're driving me crazy. Every time someone speaks, you need a new paragraph. It's so confusing reading multiple lines of dialogue from two different people in one paragraph!
| God is Gracious chapter 113 . 4/9
Rickey is married to River. Obviously. That doesn’t explain how River knew the Doctor’s name, why she was heartbroken by their not knowing her, or who Rickey is/was, though...
| brittKarateKid chapter 123 . 1/6
I just read all of this in one night and I absolutely loved it. It was amazing!
| painted heart chapter 123 . 9/6/2017
Have absolutely loved this! Can't believe he tried to erase her memories I thought at one point that she would have become part time lord in body with two hearts but still! Love this and can't wait to read more!
| MadderThanAHatter2 chapter 83 . 7/19/2017
This was such a sweet ending for the chapter x
| afionna262 chapter 69 . 5/15/2017
Omg this is soooooo good. I've been reading this story all day in class and I have to stop myself from squealing in class. It's so good and I love the romance. This story is killing my feels, so thanksI really enjoy it so far. I've also read you Terry Storm story and my god I just love your writing so much. It's brilliant!
| Guest chapter 25 . 4/30/2017
It's me again, just a touch of friendly advice. When someone's giving an evil laugh, "Bwahahahaha" kind of takes away from it. It's so much better saying "... And he let out a bone-chilling/spine tingling cackle". Far creepier, as many people send Bwahahahaha when they're being sarcastically evil with their friends. Also, the colon before dialogue isn't necessary. Much better writing than your earliest chapters though :-)
| Guest chapter 10 . 4/30/2017
Okay, so I just jumped ahead to chapter 10 (I don't know if the comment I put on chapter one went through, but if it hasn't, I was just agreeing with another reviewer that your writing had potential, but the first chapter was flawed. If the comment has gone through, you can ignore this part in parentheses) and your writing has already gotten much better :-) the characters seem more like how they are in the show proper, the scenes are less jumpy and confusing, and the Doctor is definitely more of a character than a summary of a character. Looking forward to continuing this!
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/30/2017
I agree with what another reviewer said, this has the potential to be great, but your writing is very flawed at the present. That's not to say that it'll never get better, I'm sure that it will (there are over 508k words, after all) but it's definitely flawed now.
Also, just a quick note: in Britain, it's 999, not 911. Very minor detail, but enough to pull me out of the (albeit confusing) atmosphere.
| padfootl0ve chapter 51 . 3/30/2017
Oh my goodness. The tale about the exhaust fumes causing a 50 ft head... I never thought of it before, but, JACK.
| angela.dickson.18 chapter 1 . 3/29/2017
This story is the best story and at the end of the chapter with Lily and The Doctor saying goodbye to each other was sad to read that part.
| padfootl0ve chapter 39 . 3/29/2017
I know I haven't said it yet, but I absolutely love Lily
| padfootl0ve chapter 19 . 3/28/2017
I always thought that they cybermen getting their emotions back would be the most awful way to die
| SyfyGuy2 chapter 1 . 3/14/2017
Interesting. I'm gonna be perfectly blunt, it seems a bit flawed to me in its writing but like it could perhaps be really good.
Interesting premise with Rose's cousin Lily as an OC in an AU-setting here, but I do feel that the writing was a bit rushed and not properly structured, like some things just blurred by - particularly the lack of insight into Lily's personal thoughts when the Doctor is resting when she should have had several minutes to start thinking about this whole strange situation she's found herself caught up in, and how the other times (like during Jackie's funny ramble towards the end of this chapter) her brain just leaps at tachyon-speed to make a witty comment faster than she should have been able. Also, Lily hasn't really gotten a good character establishment in this chapter - the very most we've seen so far is that she has a dry tongue and practicality, befitting of her aunt with perhaps a spark of her cousin in there. She currently feels very Mary Sue-ish.
I feel in the same respect that you haven't quite captured the Tenth Doctor's character; it feels like I'm just reading a limited monotone summary-description of his physical traits and a secondhand account of his actions, rather than seeing him up-close and like his character is really there. I also feel like you don't capture the other characters right - particularly when Mickey was filling Lily in on who the Doctor is; his dialogue really just felt like something a geek would tell another geek on an internet forum, rather than Mickey's actual character in this actual setting telling Lily about the Doctor and Rose. It also felt rather wrong to me, unrealistic; that Rose, Mickey and Jackie just ignored Lily after the TARDIS arrived and didn't fill her in about him sooner when they were bringing the Doctor up to the flat - and that Mickey had to come in and tell her in the aforementioned non-naturalistic full-explanation dialogue, and that it wanb't until Lily saw the regeneration energy being breathed by the Doctor that she decided he wans't human.
But, this chapter does have positive points to it! I loved how you had Lily be the very first face the Tenth Doctor sees on opening the TARDIS doors - while all the Doctor' incarnations have had multiple companions over their lives and cared about them all, the first companion each regeneration sees or has is always something very, irreplacably special to them - Grace and Eight, Rose and Nine/Ten, Amy and Eleven, Clara and Twelve... :) It's really good that you set that up (and by extension chose to begin this story with 'The Christmas Invasion,' and with Lily present at the start); it's a subtle, powerful hint as to what relationship will develop between Lily and the Tenth Doctor. I also in the very same respect loved the moment when it was Lily who woke the Doctor up here instead of Rose. :)
Regarding the lack of proper writing structure: there were no clear scene transitions, and you didn't really create any atmosphere or mood in your writing (for example, setting the mood when the Christmas tree came to life and attacked, or the terror and entrapment when they were stuck in the bedroom and the Doctor woke up, or the suddenness of him recoiling and crying out). You just described things in an unclear blurb of recorded, accounted events that felt secondhand.
Overall; writing is in definite need of improvement from this point onward, but you do succeed at catching our attention with Lily and the Doctor's relationship alone here.