|Reviews for Book III: The Mystery of Love|
| Starling chapter 8 . 8/14/2010
This story is good, but the POV is too often switched. It is quite a bothersome :S
| Heliwyr chapter 19 . 11/21/2008
A few tips to make reading less annoying:
1) Don't put "~POV CHANGE-[insert character]~". Also, don't do it so often. If you want to do it frequently, I would suggest writing in third person omniscient rather than first person. If you're going to do first person and switch point-of-view, I would make it a rare occurrence and something that only happens at the beginning of a chapter. For the most part, what you're doing here, is annoying. What happens is I'm happily reading your fanfic, but every few paragraphs I get this big annoying message like some crap over a PA system telling me of a point-of-view change. Now, this blasting message completely destroys my suspension of disbelief (i.e. me believing for a moment this story is true), which is not good in this kind of story.
2) Don't post song lyrics that aren't yours. I know Tolkien did put poems and songs in his books, but it was music he made up, not something some popular band created.
| Shyler chapter 6 . 5/5/2008
I am sorry, so many curiosities. I'll stop if I am annoying you, I mean not to be a burden. In the begining, when she changes magickally into her fighting attire, was it a glamour, that Fae are said to possess? Or her personal magick?
| Shyler chapter 5 . 5/5/2008
So, from what I'm wagering, Ehtele'mele vernal equinox is around May? Is it perchance the same rite as Beltane? Just wondering, since she mentioned needing a pertner...
I like the story so far, I'm looking foreward to finding out the rest of the story. Let's hope I read fast, lol.
| Shyler chapter 2 . 5/5/2008
It was a pleasant surprise, the Wicca Fae. When you were describing her, I was wondering to myself that she sounds like one of the Old People, the small, dark Fae from the times of the Old Religion.
I am confused about Ari though, by his descriptions, I though he was Legolas, but I guess i am mistaken?
| Just a helpful review chapter 11 . 4/7/2006
Taren or Ernil prince
Tari is just a name (actually one of my characters).
| Sal chapter 1 . 12/22/2005
I heard the soft sound of footsteps crunching over dead leaves...maybe three leagues from here.
That's exceptional hearing. Three leagues 12 miles. :o
It's not such a bad fic from what I've read - your knowledge of the books is good and it's ended nicely, but numbers of flames could be reduced by:
i) Not asking for x number of reviews before posting the next chapter. You have a good quote in your bio about writing for yourself, not your public. Surely a few meaningful reviews are better than hundreds of 'OMG write more!'s?
2) Not quoting Evanescence lyrics. It's not shorthand for emotions/proper writing and has been already done in a lot of fics. Also, Evanescence are a terrible band.
3) Not using Elvish. It might be a taste thing, but good fics generally assume that a group of Elves together will be speaking Elvish, and therefore the author just writes in English to keep things uncomplicated. It's jarring and annoying to have random bits of a language you don't understand interspersed with the text. I admire that you're learning it - if you're still looking for a good word list I'd suggest Ardalambion, or Elf Fetish for its name generator. Stay away from the Grey Company site, it's not Tolkien's elvish - is modified for an RPG. So 'amin mela lle' etc is not correct.
Good luck with future writing.
| Guest chapter 30 . 11/11/2004
I haven't reviewed this yet? Well, I've been reading slowly but surely and I like it. Well written. Maybe needs a beta?
| Sam chapter 10 . 11/11/2004
Wow, Was I right about dark or what? Sheesh, I hope it gets worse!
| Sam chapter 5 . 11/11/2004
Certainly a change in plot and writing... It seems like it's getting darker.
| Sam chapter 1 . 11/11/2004
Hmm... Curious, I'll have to read on.
| Firekeeper727 chapter 3 . 5/2/2004
Heh, I just realized that you're done with this fic... well, that's good. That just means that I won't have to wait for you to update! *elbows other authors who have yet to update in a month..
| Firekeeper727 chapter 2 . 5/2/2004
I don't know if I want to forgive you! lol, yeah... I'll be catching up to where you are now hopefully very soon. But I don't know how long I can stay on today. I think that I sorta understand what you are going for with Legolas. And thanks for putting Lorei in his place! Yep, enjoyed that a lot, going to continue reading now..
| Kaya chapter 54 . 4/17/2004
Wow, I just finished this. Great job! I'm going to go through and review all the chapters though because this story deserves all the reviews in the world. This is an awesome story! I love it!
| Kaya chapter 9 . 4/17/2004
I like that metaphor at the end. Beautiful. Also, I love how Reyna's refusing to fall for Legolas. I think it makes her less MS because she doesn't just fall in love with him and that's that. Good job.