|Reviews for The Coffee Shop|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/25
que novio tan tacaño
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/25
si es duro aveces hacer cola para el cine no se como aguantan los trabajadores cuando uno y otro quieren pasar o enpiesan a insultarlos
| Dark Shining Light chapter 2 . 6/17/2016
Cute story! I loved it!
| zepticpadaen chapter 2 . 5/24/2016
LOL "Should I rent you a room?" Just do a lemon chapter next lol
| Cemsay chapter 1 . 4/22/2016
| Sayiri the Fox chapter 1 . 4/10/2016
Hmm not so bad.
| Gwendolyn Inman chapter 1 . 4/10/2016
awwwwww. I like it!
| Sappopo chapter 2 . 4/8/2016
Glad you plan on doing more !
| Whitelion69 chapter 2 . 4/8/2016
This is a very good 2-shot.
| EpicGaming263 chapter 1 . 4/7/2016
Omg this is perfect i love this so far
| LuckyNumber11 chapter 2 . 4/7/2016
Great story! I really like your writing style and I hope you can continue this story for more chapters!
| Winter Sprinkles chapter 2 . 4/7/2016
Nick has green eyes. It's on every zootopia poster.
| The Valeyard chapter 1 . 4/5/2016
Okay, feedback. :)
(1) Dialogue formatting. Dialogue followed by a dialogue tag (who said it and how) is always considered *one* sentence, not two. You've *almost* got it right, in that you're not capitalizing the first word outside the closing quote unless it's someone's name - but you're not punctuating them correctly. If your character's spoken dialogue ends with a period (a declarative sentance, as opposed to a question (?) or an exclamation (!) ), the rule is that you do *not* actually put a period before the closing quote; you use a comma *instead* of the period. You also must not put a comma *after* the closing quote, between the dialogue and the tag, regardless of what kind of sentence the dialogue is. In other words:
"Oh, I get it. They wrote your name wrong?", he joked.
"Nick, I've got to tell you something. And this "thing" is what has been bothering me for this past few weeks.", she said.
must actually be written as:
"Oh, I get it. They wrote your name wrong?" he joked.
"Nick, I've got to tell you something. And this "thing" is what has been bothering me for this past few weeks," she said.
(2) When it comes to dialogue tags, use "said", "asked", and "replied" as much as possible. You're pretty good about that, but be careful about omitting speech verbs in sentences like:
"HEY! You don't have to rub your rejection on my face, jerk!" her voice stern and clear.
(notice how there's no actual verb in the dialogue tag) And don't use "blurted" by itself as a speech verb; the correct form is "blurted out."
(3) Be careful of switching between present and past tenses in your text. In dialogue, you can let that slide a bit, especially in casual conversations, but your actual descriptive prose must always be consistently one tense or the other.
Hope that helps! :)
| Jakaynne chapter 1 . 4/5/2016
Nice One-Shot! Very cute :)
| Major Wolf chapter 1 . 4/6/2016
Cute little story. Nice job.