The premise of this story is so very intriguing that I would truly love to read it only... the thought of Hermione with Ron is so violently repulsive that I truly can't bring myself to do it. Bet it's a fantastic story, though.

I could do with a lot less detail on the habits of horny teenagers, but I'm glad you at least had the good taste to fade to black instead of showing us even more things no one needs to see.

"You were told that he was 'near the Mad King's Castle'. That's not exactly helpful."

If you've ever heard of the last kind of Neuschwanstein, it's certainly plenty helpful

One thing that does bother me a bit is the nomenclature, though: *evil* voodoo priests and witch doctors are called bokors. An houngan is a practitioner of "white" magic, as the voodoo faith understands it. Female ones are called mambos, just as an aside. The kind of person who'd cast curses or create zombies, though? Definitely bokor.

This has really been much better than I expected. You're very skilled at character voices. Everyone sounds very convincingly like their canon equivalent.

Interesting take. Not sure I agree with all your characterization choices, but this seems well done so far.

Dumbledore's box of trinkets is probably going to be the biggest deus ex machina.

Oh please let it be a HarryxLuna story, I have nothing against Hinny, but HarryxLuna is a great pairing

Luna is so precious! Oh my gosh she is soooooo adorable!

Yo I just realized, where the fuq is Hagrid?! I was reading the recruitment but, and wondered about the canonical thing where Voldemort recruited the giants and Hagrid was sent to try and stop it. But that didn’t happen year five, and where at the end of year six at this point (I believe)

Guess who’s screwed? Daphne and Tracy are screwed that’s who!

…and the nag was killed, woohoo

Oh thank you for not doing that

I swear if Hermione decided to get into a relationship to manipulate Allen I’m going to skip a chunk of chapters

Yes Hermione! Alan‘s a SOB!