|Reviews for Man in Moominland|
| Chipster-roo chapter 13 . 8/1/2020
This was a great and well-written chapter!
The interactions between Thingummy, Bob and Snorkmaiden were well-written. The discovery that they have stolen The Ruby was handled well. The Thingummy and Bob's decision to flea may have seem like a good idea at the time, but it will probably turn out to have been a mistake. Stealing Moominmama's purse was pretty nasty on their part.
Little My continues to provide comic relief throughout the chapter. I also like what you did with Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll, and Martin's portrayal is also handled well. In the end, the parents mysteriously vanish...hopefully they can be rescued before it is too late.
Looking forward to more! Until then, I'll try to catch up on PotR.
| cefmlp chapter 4 . 6/27/2020
I don't see that much Moomin fanfiction on this site, so I'm looking forward to what you are doing.
| Dvyddr chapter 12 . 3/9/2020
Oh boy! Episodes 5/6 of the 90s Series were the origin of a serious childhood trauma for me, with the appearance of the Groke and all that.
Anyone else scared of her as a child?
Anyway great stuff, especially the attention to detail and how you combine several stories of the various source-material, really great how internally consistent everything turns out.
I think your story is a great way to explore moominvalley again.
| Chipster-roo chapter 12 . 1/28/2020
A rather short chapter compared to the preview few, but it remains really exciting, dramatic and overall well-written.
The arrival of the two newcomers, Thingumy (nice name) and Bob, is handled well. They seem pretty nice, despite the fact they probably stole something from the Groke, hidden in that fancy suitcase.
The Groke's return was handled really well. Snorkmaiden's escape was extremely suspenseful. The scene that follows, with everyone preparing for the battle, was well-written. The Groke runs away in the end, but she will probably come back. Hopefully all this can be sorted out without getting hurt.
Little My remains hilarious as usual; the portrayals of Martin and Sniff among others are also pretty great.
Looking forward to the next updates!
Also, thank you for your recent review to my fanfic Possibilities; I'm glad you liked the chapter! I will try to explore Blackberry and Primrose's friendship more in later chapters, and other funny scenes with Bigwig.
| Muminpappan chapter 11 . 10/11/2019
love this so much
| Chipster-roo chapter 11 . 9/19/2019
To be honest, I'm starting to enjoy this more than WD Beyond the New World. Much less torture and murder here.
The Ruby is the best trinket. The scene with the Groke was pretty dramatic, and Martin's idea of throwing the Ruby to distract the Groke while they made their getaway was nice.
Little My remains my favourite character, rightfully calling out Sniff when he deserves it. Splashing Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden was a dirty trick but makes for a funny scene. The Witch is also becoming a really interesting character, and one has to wonder if she really is evil, or if she just has a misguided approach to protecting her grand-daughter.
The ending is a good cliffhanger. Looking forward to the next updates.
| Guest chapter 11 . 8/11/2019
YES! YES YES YEESS! You updated! Thankyouthankyouthnkyou!
| Guest chapter 11 . 8/10/2019
I'm really loving this . Keep up the incredible work!
| Guest chapter 10 . 7/3/2019
This is so well written! I love Martin very much, he's a wonderful oc. I've been waiting for an update for a few months and am honestly excited for when the new chapter to come out. Keep up the good work.
| Chipster-roo chapter 10 . 4/28/2019
I liked this chapter.
The best line was "Young witches aren't allowed to fly solo before being certified by a professional!"
Little My remains my favourite character, and it was really funny how she simply let Sniff crash head first. Speaking of Sniff, I like the way you portray him here.
Martin does a good job at leading the rescue efforts. The scene where he built a compass was well-written, and it was very nice how he sent the powder back to the witch.
The search for that mushroom could get interesting. Let's see how this turns out in the next chapters.
| Chipster-roo chapter 9 . 10/14/2018
This was a good chapter, overall. Little My was responsible for several funny passages. The introduction of Alicia is handled well, and the way Sniff falls in love at first sight, only to change his mind as soon as he learns that she is a witch, is funny. The sleeping spell is an interesting subplot; I'm looking forward to seeing how Martin and the others will resolve it...
| Chipster-roo chapter 8 . 4/14/2018
Sorry for the late review, real life has been messy recently...
It's a good chapter. The flight scenes are very dramatic, and it's nice to see Little My play an important role in the mission. She is becoming my favourite character.
It was rather nice to see what happened to Stinky. He really deserves it. I don't know how much more trouble he will cause, especially with his new sentence...
The final scene with Martin and Snorkmaiden is really cute.
The glider has been wrecked and it probably won't be rebuilt anytime soon. I don't know what's going to happen now...
I'll be looking forward to updates to your various stories.
| Chipster-roo chapter 7 . 12/31/2017
Overall I liked this chapter. Several scenes, including the first one, are sweet. I like the extensive descriptions of the plan to recharge the laptop.
Perhaps my favourite scene is when Little My sneaked onto the glider. That's really great.
I'll be looking forward to finding out how Stinky will suffer for his nasty prank. Also updates to your WD fic.
Also a few months ago I posted another story. I don't know if you read it, but if you did I hope you liked it...
Happy New Year 2018! :)
| Gyromice89 chapter 7 . 12/31/2017
Oh, boy they are in trouble for sure. I've watched a lot of air crash investigation episodes and I've seen an episode where a worn cable was snapped when the pilot was in the air.
Wonder how their gonna get out of this disaster.
Thank you for updating.
| NebulaDreams chapter 6 . 12/27/2017
As this is the longest Moomin fic posted so far (and still going), I thought it would be fitting to do a review of it. I’ve enjoyed reading what you’ve presented so far and want to read more of it, however, there are a few elements of the story and the prose that detract from the otherwise good writing, but I’ll get to that later.
Everything is in character, of course, and it’s clear that you wrote them with love for the original books and cartoons (On a side note, I love Ulrich’s speech at the beginning since it’s brimming with this love for Tove Jansson’s work). The most noticeable addition to the cast is Martin Park, being plucked from his humdrum life as a student to an unfamiliar, yet fantastic world. We’ve seen this a lot before with many other fandoms, and it’s a risky move to pull off, but he’s well written, if not a bit too good at what he does. The tidbits we get about his life work well when he’s in Moominvalley, and it gives him a reason to act the way he does when he’s interacting with the characters, considering his fatherless background. It’s especially interesting to see him bring modern technology to that antiquated world, as it provides some good 'fish out of water' situations with the pre-established characters. He doesn’t distract too much from the other characters as well, making him a natural part of the cast even if he is unusual in that world.
The writing style has a lot of attention to detail as well, which makes the world feel believable, especially in the first chapter when Martin is still in Helsinki. The descriptions of the landmarks, as well as the specific names of the streets he crosses shows that you’re well researched, which fits your background as a teacher.
However, that level of detail is also a double edged sword. Even though the writing is technically good, it’s also the weakest aspect of this story, as it suffers from overwriting. You don’t leave a lot of room for the readers to draw their own conclusions about the characters; you prefer to explain every detail about them, from the infodump of Martin’s backstory at the beginning and Moominpappa’s past in Chapter 5 to parts of the story where you tell us the behaviours of the characters as they’re speaking. This paragraph stuck out to me in particular:
‘“And suppose you make some mistake in your design?" asked Sniff, suppressing a shudder. The kangaroo-like troll was scared stiff of heights and the very idea of riding one of those weird contraptions up in the air gave him goosebumps.’
Parts like these really take me out of the story, which is a shame because you’re good at other types of description. You have a good balance of the protagonist’s introspection and action, and the writing can flow well when it does this correctly. When you have those blocks of text that go too much into exposition, however, it drags the pacing down. You should let the writing speak for itself.
Another issue I have about the writing is the use of dialogue tags, as you have a lot of said bookisms, such as ‘he chastised him sternly’. With this example in particular, both the verb and the adverb convey the same thing. Pick one. It’s a nitpick, sure, but it’s another element of the writing that breaks the flow.
As for the individual chapters themselves, it takes a lot from the source material, which again, is a double edged sword. Some of the scenarios like the gang fetching Hattifattener seeds from the island to fuel Martin’s laptop are original and make good use of the protagonist. Other stories like the ant-lion situation as well as certain scenes like Moomintroll’s encounter with the masthead feel like repeats of what had already happened in the books/anime. It’s not bad, but it would be nice to see you write more original plots, even if they involve the same characters.
As it is right now in its unfinished state, it’s still an entertaining read. I hope to see more of it in the future, and I wish you the best for your other projects as well.