|Reviews for Monochrome Duet|
| Gadget boy chapter 32 . 6/25
It took me a while, but I finally reached the current chapter of this story, and you completely blew me away! The emotions and the interactions between the characters along with the new problems that they had to face with the LC survivors is just so well written.
Super excited for your next update and really hoping that you eventually reach the Fairy Dance Arc and beyond.
| EVA-Saiyajin chapter 32 . 5/27
Damn. That was one heck of a handling of an episode after all the build up.
| Marczeg Szar chapter 32 . 4/2
What a chapter!
I haven't felt like this while reading fanfiction for a long time. Thank you for this experience.
| Oreton chapter 32 . 3/21
There it is .. the end .. for now
Still Like how you fluidly keep the Story going. Its obvious that you are Plannung ahead. And its also nice that your notes after a chapter are about what happened and Not about what is going to Happen.
Gotty admit tho for me the Highlight was still when kizmel praised her ancestors to the heavens, Just to swear Them down right after. Hilarious.
That the Santa Stone would be used on kizmel went pretty much as expected. And agils rant was definetly Well placed.
And finally the Main Problem about kizmel following into the real world was adressed. Namely the Lack of a Body. Even tho she is from evolutionary View Not "wife" Material since Lack of the ability for procreation.
Im curious how the groups and guilds will Deal with the aftermath during the next crisis.
I Hope you keep writing so i can read a Lot more when i Return at some Point ..
| Oreton chapter 15 . 3/16
So far i really enjoyed myself Reading. Specially since you make actual chapters and dont botch together a bunch of words and Tap your own shoulder for a Work Well done that you reached 2k words per chapter Like some Others do but you fit the size of it to the content it contains.
And No self indulging bullshit what kinda evil Mastermind you are to have a cliffhanger after every 2k Word chapter .. Like its possible to do anything Else If its kept that short.
Its really nice too that you are very Well read about how the world works in the Original and try to keep it that way and Not completly butchering it without clue and simply make stuff Up that you didnt bother to remember or Change cuz you Just cant get the principle into your head
(Sorry im totally ranting and dissing the competition i know, but ive read enough to need to vent a Bit and No one Else Cares.. you propably neither, but you aint gotty choice!)
But what Had me really enjoying myself are the kizmel pov parts, they are Well thought Out and give an interesting perspective of the whole Thing.
Im wondered a Bit why there was No Major Fallout with that snappy violent btch asu. But soon concluded that there didnt need to be one and its only my own dislike of her antics that lead me to believe there was one.
On the other Hand should kirito Not have her in His friendlist until the 58? Floor murder case. Until the 25th they were Always in a Party and after that He should have secluded himself. Even If He didnt do it in you Story .. No reason to be Friends with asuna. Specially since in Canon we are told that they meet during Boss prep and Fight and usually got Major Arguments with each other.
On another Note what really got me every time, is when kizmel with absolut conviction disses her ancestors for their marvellous forsight how to protect their treasures. And how unforgiving she is about the tentacled methods .. hilarious simply hilarious!
Makes me Wonder what her reaction would be If she ever hears about or even See a specific Genre of cultured Art that includes tentacles and whose homecountry is internationally famous for this specific niche? If they find a way to get her Out into the world Like yui or Alice ... THAT would be an interesting reaction ID Like to read about
Keep Up your Work.. i might Post again If Something catches my interest
best regards N.O.
| perfectshade chapter 32 . 3/5
To be fair, Kirito isn‘t exactly a normal bundle of nerves and combat instincts. Point still remains though, and your Kirito has grown more balanced throughout the story as well.
I think I like how you reframed the reveal, without diminishing Kizmel‘s reasoning, to emphasizing Kayaba‘s callous treatment of people. Really drive home how the man is brilliant, but needed an entire ethics comittee before he started things like accelerated time. Which really creates an interesting subtext, raises the question of just how much time he spends in the 24 hpurs an ordinary person has in a day.(ignoring the limiters I think are implied in SAO)
I must say, I did not expect this. Kizmel‘s approach to battle tended to be more reasoned, less burdened in some ways than Kirito ever was. So I honestly would have guessed that she looks the man in the eyes, have all the emotions run throuhg her and then denies to make the challenge stating she is well aware that if she were to fight him now, she‘d die before accomplishing anything. Because Kizmel knows her „father‘s“ skill level well enough.
This is unexpected, yet well reasoned enough I believe to work perfectly fine! Ah, but I see Kizmel didn‘t grasp the extent of what Kayaba just admitted. He may be a maker first and foremost, but he admitted to have been the knight for eighteen years at least. Hastiness blinded her to some truths, only to realize the trick shortly but already caught in the web.
Well, this is a lot of master strokes. For all that Asuna takes the reigns exactly as planned and boy must that realization smart, Agil is carrying the aftermath and Rain didn‘t ask for any of this. Truly crazy time, to see a split, yet not in the groups.
Also, on a completely different tack, Kayaba admitting to messing with time should make some players wonder. As Asuna has said, their bodies are on a time limit, but now she can‘t know how much of that they have actually used. Half a year for each in game, or less than that? From the outside we know the nerve gear and Kayaba probably can‘t do that. The players don‘t. For all they know it started out normal and accelerated ever since, drifted out of synch. The uncertainty of real time being potentially at the mercy of Kayaba mustbe devastating. Also more or less easily brushed aside as its more of the same, yet horrifying all the same.
Okay, that was a tangent likely to not actually crop up, but I found it interesting to think about.
Just like the horrible idea that Kayaba patterned Kizmel and Tilnel after a flesh and blood child that did not survive. Possibly only Kizmel truly taking to existence. Though that would arguably be even weirder considering Kizmel‘s race(the visual one), fitting as a grieving mother eventually not logging on anymore would be.
That tangent done with, I do find that the reconciliation between Kizmel and Kirito works well. I had wondered about more anger in there, but much prefer this continuation of their pre battle chat the night before the boss fight. The tone is similar, and I think this is best to show that their relationship is pretty solid, with this causing more upset than anger.
About details... I have been very distracted as of late, so probably missed all of them :(
On the other hand, even with that I did get caught up in the excitement of Asuna‘s second(first full) day as the official leader already going to hell. Which really speaks about how captivating it can be, if I can still enjoy it when somewhat stressed out.
No worries on OCs? You have been using rarely utilized characters to great effect up to now, I have confidence you'll manage to use them well where appropriate. Helps that the pileup you just set up involves a lot of named characters already to smooth over OC appearances.
Now that I finally finished the chapter, I am happy about the read. Satisfying post fight interactions, and ending on a high strung note of the next crisis chasing the first. Right in time for Asuna to prove herself in a different way.
Thanks for the lengthy and pleasant read!
| eduard00 chapter 32 . 2/20
"Heathcliff. I know you to be my father, to be Kayaba Akihiko, because you act more the NPC than I do."
Sickest burn in this entire story.
| Guest chapter 32 . 2/13
Another excellent chapter, especially the Kirito/Kizmel moments and Agil finally getting to express his very justified frustration about the clearers.
But something I found very interesting, personally, was how Lind has evolved as a character. He started out someone who was almost hostile towards Kizmel and definitely defensive, and even relatively late into the game he was far from a friend to her, willing to openly discuss sacrificing NPCs before her.
To see him actually become someone who, out of genuine concern, told her to not consider laying down her life for the clearers and the population of SAO and actually see her as the person she is was pretty awesome development to me - as well as the fact that even after all that, he's still classic Lind, still that glory-hound.
Looking forward to the next chapter, whenever it comes!
| RohanVos chapter 32 . 2/12
Wonderful chapter, really enjoyed Kizmels reaction and how things are moving along!
| RedTheVariant chapter 31 . 2/12
ok I'm curious bruh. iv read another story where the game world somehow became fused with the zero no tsukaima world( thats familiar of zero) and the people had to deal with the political and physical repercussions merging two worlds. it would be cool if you did something similar. but I think that some is going on with both Kirito and kizmel and the effects of which could spill over into the human world. I don't want to say real world because really what's the difference? yea your a little digital but other than that
| Chevalier Lecteur chapter 31 . 2/12
Heathcliff leaning on his shield like a professor his podium is an amusing image.
"you act more the NPC than I do." That, That was epic.
Accelerated time, like in Underworld with Alice?
IT'S A TRAP! D
Thank you for acknowledging that they were fighting in an arena with 32 scattered players sprawled out.
I'm glad you didn't have it end there, it'll be way more epic to see them all take on Kayaba at the end. I'm curious of what you plan for the floors following the 75th.
Damn straight! You tell them Agil!
I quote: Rain hammered at the roof-.
I literally asked myself the question: Why is the new Vice-Commander trying to fix a roof?
I mean, Kazuto built a computer and found erased national records at 10. So he can probably make Kizmel a terminator body.
"Pulling his mustache out of his coffee" That is awesome.
A knock on the door interrupted Agil's bragging about being the only other one married out of all of them.
Poh Uh Oh.
I'm glad Asuna moved the Knights into a new headquarters. I also hope she kicked out Kuradeel.
Poh with an army UH OH.
I wonder if Poh was able to access the terminal under the Black Iron Castle?
So if Kayaba was Kizmel's father in accelerated time, was Koujiro Rinko Kizmel's mom?
Anyway, Fantastic chapter! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
| Light15 chapter 32 . 2/12
Lots of loose ends, questions ive had hanging around in the back of my mind seem primed to be tied up with a nice bow on top in this next arc. a surprising few sao fics ive read have tackled the hollow area, the ones that do seem to be mostly crack fics so i am quite eager to see what you have in store. Rebellion getting some work done is nice to see, can't wait to see how that goes
| Tawnis chapter 32 . 2/11
Okay, first off, I knew this one was going to be good, but seriously: Best. Chapter. Yet.
The way everything came together, the structure, the pacing, the feels, even with the story still ongoing, the amount of well executed payoff in this chapter was tremendous. You've really outdone yourself my friend. :D
"Because you act more the NPC than I do." Damn, now that's what I'm talking about! Absolutely stellar line.
I really liked that it was Lind of all people who brought up the main argument for Kizmel not fighting. I've said it before that their interplay is one of my favorite character dynamics and you handle them in most cases with such a deft touch (which I think is great) that I could see it easily being missed if you're not looking for it. I'm sure we'll get something else big between them one day that all these little bits will serve to amplify it nicely.
I had a feeling this is when that little thing you reminded us about would come back into play. I've always thought this would have been the place to use it had it not been written into cannon after this. XD It wasn't used in exactly the way I expected, but it was used better, so yeah, well done.
Speaking of, I love Sachi's involvement in this part. Even if it's never stated, and even if he never really consciously realizes it, through her actions and the flak she gets for it after, Sachi validates one of the hardest decisions Kirito has ever made in a way that words never could. She is the only person who could have done so... that set up was just fantastic. Bravo.
When Kizmel thinks "You have no right to call me daughter" it would work better if you changed the "she" in the previous paragraph to "my daughter".
Interesting hint, and very much in keeping with Kayaba's style.
"Today you could've (saved) a life."
You go Agil! Very nice speech and very fitting that he was the one to give it.
I've never seen "school" used in that context before. Was that a typo? Seems like you meant forced or something like that.
Okay, so I've got some more stuff to say about their talk in the Cabana, but I'm going to PM that later because I don't want to drop some huge spoiler if I guess correctly on an upcoming reveal again. XD
"Take me home." Just... T.T ... the feels.
After Klein thanks Sachi, it's not immediately clear that he is now talking to Agil.
It should either be: more LIKE "real" people of Aincrad. or: more "real people of Aincrad".
Ohhhh, Kumari and Kruegar were GA... Oh... Kumari and Kruegar were GA. That got interesting very quickly.
Given how things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if Kumari forgets about the KoB and joins Klein and co. If you count Griselda, that's 4/10 women, me thinks Kirito be rubbing off on him. XD
I like that Kayaba left some random loot in the KoB storage. Feels like it was intentionally left as a reward for fighting a bonus boss.
"however briefly - but genuineLY"
Well... that was certainly a one, two, three punch before the cliffhanger. That's a lot of spinning plates and while I think I know how a few things are going to go, I certainly can't even begin to guess it all. Really looking forward to how this all plays out.
For Kayaba, he does seem more genuinely cruel in this version, but in more a sense of cold detachment than actual malice, which seems like what you were going for. We spend more time with him here and his actions are much more personal so it makes sense that the readers would think of him more in that regard than in cannon. I like how you handled him.
In terms of OC's I get your previous history with them, but they do fill an important role. In fact, I'm quite impressed you've gone this far with using so few. Sometimes a story needs an element that does not exist in the source material to work. So long as the OC has a purpose and isn't just there for the sake of being there, I don't think you'll have any issue. Give yourself a break, Kumari's been pretty interesting so far, I'm curious to see how she's going to play into the ongoing story.
As always, perhaps more so, can't wait for the next one. :D
| silverhawk88 chapter 32 . 2/11
Jeez what a ending with the battle between Kizmel and Kayaba and I about started to worry when she died then seeing her rez with the stone? OMG! Also seeing Kayaba confirm that she wouldn’t die when Aincrad was beat is a relief. I am equally curious to see what makes her different.
I have never seen a story where Asuna takes charge of the KoB. There is a lot of new things to look forward to and to have Rain as her second should be interesting as well.
Also that accelerated time sounds familiar…Also this sanctuary sounds very ominous. Wonder what PoH is up to? To say that it could kill every player, man o man the stakes have just gone way up! And you end the chapter on a high note leaving high expectation for the next chapter. To keep me occupied till then I may re read monochrome again and read Oath as well.
Great job on this chapter. I am honestly impressed to see what you are going to do next.
| orion0905 chapter 32 . 2/11
Well, that explains why this wasn't the climatic clash. And now we have laughing coffin doing stuff... why can't those guys just stay dead. Hopefully after this they will.
I can only wait for the next but also yay more oath should be great to see that updated again.