Reviews for Come Undone
Tzarista chapter 26 . 7/6/2006
great story
Writer Wannabe chapter 26 . 10/6/2003! I just finished reading this story, and I swear I can't find my breath! It's beautifully written, the characters are extremely well portrayed, especially Anakin. You completly understood his personality in each situation that was presented to him, and it was clear what made him turn fully to the Dark Side. I can't believe this. This is just too perfect.

I also liked how you wrote the relationship between Anakin and Padmé; you focused on all the angles of their marriage.

YodaFeet chapter 26 . 3/23/2003
I have one word for you- TEARS! When Anakin started crying, I started crying! And I am crying now! I wouldn't be surprised if EpI turned out just as you have written. Very well written! Very dramatic and emotional- hey, it brought me to tears! I look forward to more work in the future, thank you so much Paulie! Bravo, job well done!
bibphile chapter 11 . 2/19/2003
"In his heart, Obi-wan admired her taste in wines far more than he did in her choice of men,"

This disturbs me. I know that Anakin's bad qualities have been overshadowing his good one lately. Still, it seems as if Obi-Wan has fogotten that Anakin is his friend as well as his Padawan (for a little longer, at least.) Even the banter at the end feels forced.

This chapter leaves me with a feeling of dread. Of course, given that Anakn will fall, maybe that was your intention.

I love Anakin's attention to Padme. I just wish that Obi-Wan could have some opinion of it other than 'Well, that would be great if he wasn't a Jedi.'

"I did not say I agree with them Anakin." That's the second time Obi-Wan has pulled a 'I didn't say that this is my opinion' without saying what he thinks. I find it rather irritating. I also find it very Obi-Wan. Nice work.

Anakin is, of course, being rude. I expect no less with Palaptine's influence.

How come Anakin isn't in worse shape? I thought he couldn't hold his alchool.

I look forward to the next chapter.
bibphile chapter 10 . 2/12/2003
Very nice work. I really like Padme's reaction when Obi-Wan asks if Anakin hurt her.

Why did he ask anyway. I know Anakin has been volatile lately, but is there any particulal reason to believe that he would hurt Padme.

The langhing at the end is nice too.
bibphile chapter 8 . 2/7/2003
Very nice chapter. Palpatine is written wonderfully. Palpatine just spoon feeds Anakin the praise and approval that Anakin so desperately craves. You have acurately portayed Palpatine as a master of manipulation.
bibphile chapter 7 . 2/4/2003
I really like the bit about Obi-wan soothing a 12 year-old Anakin when he was sick. We needed to be reminded of their past together. It's sad that right now Obi-Wan can't seem to muster an emotion but frustration when it comes to Anakin.

Of course, Anakin isn't making anything easy.

Poor Anakin, being fooled by Papatine. Of course, the Senate and the Jedi Council are fooled by him. Not to mention the galaxy as a whole. If it weren't for one little Chandrilian Senator, Palpatine whould have a perfect record. I guess Anakin's not that unique.
beachglass5387 chapter 5 . 2/2/2003
wonderful chapter! keep writing!
YodaFeet chapter 5 . 2/1/2003
Hey! I'm so excited! I love the way this story is going along, your writing style adds so much more drama to the story! Email me again sometime, we have a lot to catch up on! I'd like to know how the other story you were talking about is coming along-or if you've decided to drop the idea. Thx so much for the updates! Keep up the good work!
bibphile chapter 5 . 1/31/2003
First you made an mistake. It's not "Coresaunt"; it's "Coruscant." Okay, now on the the important stuff.

"That is beside the point!" Is Obi-Wan trying to alienate his Padawan? I know he's shocked. I'd like to think Obi-Wan wouldn't have said that if he'd had time to think. But I'm not sure.

You've left me curious to how Obi-Wan is going to spend the rest of the night. Meditating? Worrying? Worrying while trying to meditate?
beachglass5387 chapter 4 . 1/29/2003
wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! THat was an awesome chapter. No chance of a happy ending, is there?
beachglass5387 chapter 3 . 1/29/2003
Yay! I love the part about Obi-Wan's cooking :)
bibphile chapter 3 . 1/28/2003
Beautiful. I really like Obi-Wan's meditation scene.

trust your feelings not just your senses

I love that line.
beachglass5387 chapter 2 . 1/25/2003
dun dun dun! update soon, please!
bibphile chapter 2 . 1/24/2003
Good work. I especially like Anakin pausing to consider before refusing to tell Obi-Wan where he is going.

Anakin saying that the council never listens to him was nice too. Very telling.
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