|Reviews for Propriety|
| Guest chapter 37 . 4/2
I apsaloutly love this story I couldn't stop reading it
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 37 . 3/29
The last chapter would read more smoothly if it were in chronological order. There's a real disconnect from the penultimate chapter to the last one because of the time jump. We see everyone who is waiting in the hallway hear a yell from the hospital wing, and then suddenly it's Christmas, which is a significant time jump. At this point, I assumed that everything just wrapped up neatly and you didn't want to write that part as it can be assumed, but then you went back with a flashback. Don't do flashbacks. Just write the story in order in the first place. It would flow much better that way.
You could rearrange it to have Snape's flashback, then Draco's, then a sentence or two to transition through the time jump to Christmas. I was afraid that the Christmas scene was going to feel tacked-on and disconnected from the rest of the story, but you did a good job bringing it back around and having that scene wrap everything up. The adoption papers, the new familiar, and the step forward in Harry and Draco's physical relationship all work to wrap up the story satisfactorily.
I read the first 9 chapters or so of this story before it was finished, and it was interesting enough that I put it on my watch list. Now that it's done, I have finally gotten back to it. I have to say I wasn't disappointed. Overall, this story is quite interesting. "Good Malfoy" stories are tricky to get right. Often it's unbelievable that suddenly Lucius or Draco saw the error of their ways and wants to be immediate pals with Harry & co. You've done a good job of establishing that Lucius was a spy and how that affected Draco and his public image and behavior at school. I also like the reference that Lucius made to Draco's "pigtail-pulling" as an explanation for Draco's picking on Harry in previous years.
One general comment I have about the story is that you rarely, if ever, identify who is speaking. The reader has to assume from context, and rather frequently it's totally ambiguous. Sometimes near the end of a paragraph of dialog it's finally clear who is talking, and then I have to go back and re-read that dialog with that character in mind. Just adding "Draco said," or "said Harry" here and there would greatly improve the readability of the story. Overall, the story is great, with a coherent and engaging plot, and it's a shame that the story is a bit awkward to read when it would be so easy to fix. In general, if there are more than two people in a room, label every bit of dialog with who is speaking. If there are only two people in a conversation, you can leave out the "he said" and the reader can assume that it's a back-and-forth. Even then, every few paragraphs you should say who is speaking so the reader doesn't get lost.
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 36 . 3/29
This was a good, quick resolution to the sucked-into-someone's-mind trope.
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 35 . 3/29
I like how you have resolved Harry's relationship with Draco. Harry finding out about the courtship wasn't as traumatic as I expected it to be, but it also wasn't just hand-waived away as a non-issue.
I have mixed feelings about stories that go tromping through people's minds. Often, they're rather unrealistic and too arbitrary. I'll reserve judgement about this one until it's over, though. I like the description of the different Harrys as aspects of his personality rather than separate entities, and I find it interesting that you've got only negative parts of his psyche to accompany his "core" self.
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 17 . 3/28
Well, now we have an inciting incident (or hints of one, at least) for Harry's injuries.
I like the consequences you've come up with for Ginny. She doesn't get off, but she's not just thrown to the dementors for the rest of her life, either.
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 14 . 3/28
So, it's getting out that Draco is courting Harry, but Snape is still apparently oblivious to the problem that he's created in not telling Harry so.
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 13 . 3/28
Yikes! I knew Ginny was mad, but this is pretty extreme.
I'm hoping that Neville finds out that Snape is Harry's guardian soon. I'm glad that you went into why he feels that he can't interfere and that he's determined to do so anyway if things get bad. Neville's a good friend. You're really showing him how he was by the last book rather than using his younger personality, which is much more common in fics in my experience.
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 11 . 3/28
I think there's only so far Draco can stretch that flirting before Harry figures out that's what it is. And I wonder what Draco would think if he realized that Harry doesn't know that they're courting. Or does he know?
| mrsMxyzptlk chapter 10 . 3/28
I'm really enjoying this so far. I like the contrast between Harry's introspection and the points of view of Draco, Snape, and Harry's friends. It's not clear whether Hermione is familiar with wizard courting traditions, but she certainly knows that the interest is their on both sides.
I'm wondering, of course, about what will happen when Harry finds out that he's been courting Draco without his knowledge. It's quite irresponsible on Snape's part to not explain to Harry that Draco's courting him. I imagine that he'll find out about the courting before anyone talks to him about same-sex relationships being acceptable in their society, so I'm expecting Harry to totally freak out and have a major panic attack in the not-too-distant future.
| marthapreston4 chapter 18 . 3/18
why dont they just ask harry where he stayed or use truth serum, I dont see the mystery of it since they could just ask
| Yvonne Park chapter 37 . 3/2
Good story! I wish that Draco and Harry would have been able to be more of a lovey dovey couple in here. Haha I would have liked I have seen some more kisses! Dang proper purebloods. Haha great job though! I really liked the interactions between Harry and Snape. They were so cute! :)
| Hope06 chapter 37 . 2/5
It took time for me to read this because I did not want to say good bye to this story. I will eagerly look forward to the sequal
| Rebecca897 chapter 37 . 2/1
Best I have read!
| BumpsInTheNight chapter 37 . 1/28
Great story. *frantically scribbles out rude words about what the crazies group needs to do with themselves now that they're caught* Wonderful job making me hate a bunch of people that I still know next to nothing about. Hmm, does that sound sarcastic? I can't tell if it does. It's not meant to. You did well with them. Every bit of new information about them just increased the rage. Many pats on the back for doing so well all around. Thanks for sharing.
| Saggyherman chapter 37 . 1/28
Congratulations, Fantastic story, I've really enjoyed reading it ;)