|Reviews for Its not all sunshine and carrots|
| Chipster-roo chapter 12 . 3/13
I'm really sorry about Milly and Daisy...
Overall, this is a great chapter. I like its title, since several characters make silly decisions.
First, there is the scene in which Selene and Storm discuss how to keep Skylar safe. It is well-written, and the moment when Skylar reveals she knew about their plan all along is funny. This is followed by the passage with Hawkbit and Dandelion and how they lose their turnip just like in the series; that was funny too.
Bigwig has good intentions when he wants to protect Skylar, but expelling her from the owsla is quite harsh. The scene that follows, with her reaction, is well-written. It's funny how Blackberry and Clover fail to get her sarcasm, and totally believe she's going to quit the owsla to become a mother, and later on tell this to the three main bucks. The mother part might happen at some point, but I highly doubt she would ever give up the owsla.
Skylar's solo farm raid is the most interesting part of the chapter. I like how you described the battle with Tabitha. The scene with the human seams to bear a slight resemblance to what happened with Hazel at the end of the original book, except that this scene is told from Skylar's point of view instead of that of the humans; I'm glad you did that. The whole scene is well-written. It's nice to see that, after she finally gets set free, she ends up at the roundabout, instead of immediately going back to Watership Down.
Most of the last part of the chapter, including Hickory and Marigold's visit at Redstone and the entire roundabout scene, unfolds mostly the same way as in the series, with a few slight differences; this is well-written. I like the last paragraph, in which Pipkin and Skylar tells their stories, although Skylar doesn't get formally reintegrated in the owsla...that will come later, I guess.
I'll be looking forward to future updates. It's going to be interesting to see what happens next.
| White Hunter chapter 12 . 3/13
Nice work. I'm sorry about the loss of your animal friends. I know how it feels. a few years a go, my family and I had to put our Jack Russel down because he had developed a cancer, he was 15-and-a-half at the time this occured. His name was Komet and he was one special dog to our family. I hope to read the next chapter soon.
White Hunter, howling out to you and creativity.
| White Hunter chapter 11 . 7/6/2016
Nice work on this chapter, hope to read more soon!
| Chipster-roo chapter 11 . 7/6/2016
I've had a rather bad day, and this chapter cheered me up. So thank you for that.
I'm sorry about your dog, I hope she makes a full recovery.
I think you should keep Storm. In this chapter she blends in rather well with the others.
A short but interesting passage is when Skylar thinks about how Blackberry, Primrose and Clover are beautiful, while she is "nothing special". That's subjective. I never found Primrose particularly good-looking. Just what qualifies as “beautiful” varies depending on the person/rabbit, but in the end it doesn't matter: as Pipkin tells Campion in season 3, "it's what you're like inside that matters" or something like that.
The whole subplot about Fiver admiring Skylar and the others teasing her about it, was handled very well, especially in the scene where she breaks down. Pulling off something like that convincingly is a hard task, but you succeeded. Good job.
How this is going to work out in future chapters is probably going to be interesting, especially since Bigwig seems to be getting possessive of his sister.
It's nice to see Skylar and the others come up with the rescue plan themselves.
The rest is handled pretty much the same way as in the series, so I have nothing to say about that. However, Woundwort announcing that Skylar is to be his mate was really unexpected. I have never seen anything like this in any other fanfic. This is an interesting concept, and I doubt we've seen the last of it.
There are two things I think you could improve. Firstly, you mention "musk rats" a few times, but it's supposed to be written in one word.
Secondly: "Woundwort enters followed by Vervain, Moss, Pipkin and Campion". I think this is the first time Moss appears in this fanfic, so how do the others know who he is?
Overall a great chapter, and I'm looking forward to future updates.
| Chipster-roo chapter 10 . 6/6/2016
This is very exciting!
I liked this chapter overall. Kidnapped was always one of my favourite episodes of the first season, and you handled it very well.
Your character Storm so far seems rather interesting, even if she didn't do much so far. But having the rabbits be friends with elil is a nice concept that should be done more often (Skree wasn't very convincing...)
It seems you're shipping Skylar with Fiver...I had already seen a few hints about this in Fiver's behaviour over the past few chapters, but I didn't know if it was going to go any further. Anyway, Skylar not realizing that Fiver admires her is funny.
I found a minor mistake near the end of the chapter: when Fiver, Primrose and Kehaar go to search for Pipkin, Kehaar doesn't know who to search for.
The part with Campion was very well written. The way you are developing Skylar's relationship with him is very good.
And that's it for the first season. I can't wait for the second one!
| Chipster-roo chapter 9 . 6/1/2016
I really like Skylar being an owsla captain just like Bigwig.
Most of the rest of the chapter consists of the episode but with Skylar staying with Hazel and Campion, which provides the opportunity to develop their relationship. This has a lot of potential, and I hope you will develop it more in future chapters.
I found two minor problems in the chapter.
"then the first bird speaks from the bowl" This is the first time you mention that the voices are birds.
"Hazel tugs at the cloth" You didn't describe the fact that there was a cloth stuffed through the broken glass.
I understand that you may not be able to update every day. I will be busy myself over the next few weeks. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Murron Bartlett chapter 8 . 5/31/2016
Wow, this story just gets better and better.
I had three chapters to read in a break from relentless studdying and I am glad I read them all in one go.
That's nice that this chapter ended so positively. I always knew Bigwig was not as cold and tough as he made himself out to be.
I do hope you continue writing and I also hope that some humans put in an appearence soon lol. That would really put Skyla to the test.
Once again this is a really good piece of work. Keep it up.
| Chipster-roo chapter 8 . 5/29/2016
This chapter is good.
You follow the episode very well. I like the fact that Skylar and Selene stay with Bigwig and the others instead of getting trapped in the caverns with Hazel, Fiver and Hawkbit.
So Campion is Skylar's brother? That was unexpected. I don't know how important that will be later on, but she has a point, she already has Selene...and Bigwig.
I'm looking forward to future chapters.
| Chipster-roo chapter 7 . 5/28/2016
Well...this isn't the best chapter so far, but then A Tale of a Mouse is my least favourite episode of the first season. But it isn't bad. I don't think you should do any major changes to the chapter, overall, I think it was handled rather well.
One thing I think you should change, however, is the scene where Hannah meets Skylar and in chapter two, you said that Selene and Hannah were friends. Other than that, I can't think of any possible changes.
| Chipster-roo chapter 6 . 5/27/2016
The idea of having a doe in the owsla has been done in another fanfic, but the site that hosted it went offline a while ago, unfortunately.
Anyway, I liked this chapter. Although none of this happened in the series (unless you're using this to replace A Tale of a Mouse), the idea is handled very well, and I'm glad Skylar and Selene passed the test. They deserve to be in the owsla.
Also, it's nice to see Skylar notice Fiver's problem and tell Bigwig about it.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Murron Bartlett chapter 5 . 5/27/2016
I'm really enjoying this story.
I like the way you wrote both your characters and setting, because you really portray a convincing world that the rabbits live in.
I think the main characters will go far, especially Skyla. She seems really strong and tough to me. She is a good protagonist.
I also liked the way that you portrayed my favourite rabbits from the series, Bigwig and Fiver. I always like it when they appear in stories.
A really good piece of work and I hope you continue.
| Chipster-roo chapter 5 . 5/26/2016
That was a nice chapter, following the events of The Vision very well.
It's nice to see Skylar fighting the weasel. That flying kick is really useful. I just hope the weasel won't come back a third time.
I like the fact that Skylar and Selene are interested in joining the owsla. They seem to be really useful to the warren. Let's see how they will do in the training exercises...
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Chipster-roo chapter 4 . 5/25/2016
I like these daily updates.
All right, so everything so far happened between Escape from Efrafa and The Vision.
Selene's backstory was really well written. It was very touching when Skylar offered to be Selene's sister.
The part with Fiver and Hawkbit was handled very well so far. And it is rather worrying that Fiver actually decides to leave the warren. At least Skylar managed to warn Bigwig in time.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Chipster-roo chapter 3 . 5/24/2016
I didn't expect a new chapter this fast!
Thank you for mentioning me at the start. I appreciate that.
This chapter was really good. It answers all my questions I had at the end of chapter 2. So this takes place after Primrose and Blackavar escape. I can understand Skylar thinking that Bigwig is an Efrafan with that mark.
I really liked your description of Skylar's escape. I laughed when she managed to take down Vervain.
The only problem I find with this chapter is when you say "before I got 10 meters away from Efrafa". In the series, the rabbits never used any measuring units.
Although it may be a little early to judge, I really like your OC Skylar. It would have been nice if a character like her actually appeared in the series...
Please update soon!
| Chipster-roo chapter 2 . 5/23/2016
It's nice to see a new fanfic in the WD section.
The first chapter is very interesting. You introduced both characters rather well. I really wonder about Skylar's old warren though, if it is Efrafa or even Darkhaven, or some other place.
The farm scene in the second chapter is nice and well written.
This ending is very good. I wonder if these “male rabbits” are really the Watershippers, or Efrafans...
This story has a lot of potential. Please update soon!