|Reviews for The Bonds that Keep Us|
| Eryniel Alasse chapter 6 . 6/26/2015
Awww, this story is so sad! I wish that Legolas hadn't died, though; I'll admit that it makes the whole thing a little anticlimactic. While this story is pretty good (and I'm impressed that you managed to write it in such a short time), there are some things that need fixing:
- There's a good deal of spelling and grammar errors in this story. If you got a beta, you could have them edit the work and catch all the small mistakes that are common among all authors. I don't have a beta, as I self-edit, but I'm more the sort of person who would do beta-ing rather than the other way around.
- Your Sindarin, I'm sorry to say, needs a lot of work. I am a devout Tolkien fan, and while I don't claim to be fluent in Elvish, I do know enough to recognize most of the errors that you make. I know that most authors find it difficult to find the patience to look up elvish words and construct proper sentences, but it really does detract tremendously from your story if you simply make up words. And another thing - where are your accents, diacritics, and umlauts? Ai Valar, that's one of the most overlooked parts of Elvish, and it irks me more than everything else combined!
- A very large canonical error that you made is something that would make this whole story fall apart if it were corrected. When Aragorn becomes the king of Gondor, the battle for Middle Earth is *over.* When Sauron is destroyed, the armies of Mordor are disbanded, the Orcs and Uruk-hai scattered, and peace reigns at last among the Free Peoples. There is no way that a thousand Uruk-hai could combine forces and march on Minas Tirith.
- And even those events did come to pass, Aragorn could surely muster more than five hundred and fifty-three men. Besides, the numbers are not nearly so disproportionate as to spell certain destruction. Put it in perspective: Each man has to kill two Uruk-hai before being killed himself. Two well-placed arrows take care of that man's quota, and surely the defenders could manage more than two volleys before the attackers begin to scale the walls. That's not to say that every arrow will be accurate, or even fatal, but surely that could at least decimate the attackers before the hand-to-hand combat ensues. The Battle of the Hornburg at Helm's Deep involved a 2:17 ratio of defenders to attackers by the book, and they *won.* Those odds are far, far worse than a 1:2 ratio. Additionally, you should never, ever underestimate the value of a strong defending position such as a fortified city. Minas Tirith certainly is one, because its name in Sindarin quite literally translates to "The Tower of the Guard." All these things being said, Aragorn definitely should not have despaired before the battle even began. He's a commander, and such people have to keep on a brave face, no matter what the odds may be.
- Another detail that is worth considering is the time factor involved here. Two and a half weeks is a long time, anyone has to admit that. If Aragorn thought things were that bad (but they weren't), why didn't he just evacuate the city? Undoubtedly, he had the time to consider that as an option, and it would have occurred to him. If not, one of his advisors would have put it on the table. I think that would be a more favorable alternative than setting up defenses that you believe are doomed to failure.
All that aside, this story really does have a lot of potential, and it would be great if you'd be willing to come back to it some day and edit it. I hope this criticism can help, so please don't interpret this as a flame of any sort. This is just my editing mindset at work.
May the Valar guide your pen!
| Stormcutter684 chapter 6 . 1/29/2015
*chucks an apple at your head*
Sorry for my rage. And that Apple intended for your face. But um .. YOU KILLED OFF LEGOLAS! WWWHHHHYYYYYYYYYY?!
*grabs a barrel of wine and dumps on your head*
Ahhhh he died - why did he die?!
*takes deep breath* Kay. Kay. Other than the devastating death of Legolas .. It was a good story. :)
Full of emotion and anger and true friendship and also .. Death. *sniffs* may Legolas rest in peace!
A story that really got me going! Awesome fanfic.
| Moon Lantern chapter 6 . 1/29/2013
Balefire, this is a really amazing, heart warming and moving story! Hats off to you!
I'm glad you didn't make this a slash story, because bromance and true friendship are way better and way more powerful, in my humble opinion.
I was really moved by Aragorn's dream and letter, and the flashbacks, especially when Aragorn gave Legolas his bow.
I had a hunch that Legolas would die, and it was so heart wrenching when he did, I shed some silent manly tears just reading it.
I would have liked to see a state funeral for Legolas, where everyone especially Gimli, the Hobbits and Gandalf pay their respects, I think it would make the story more poignant.
Also, surely Legolas is more likely to arrive with the Mirkwood army? By the way, the Elves use scimitars (remember Haldir?), not the Orcs. They use falchions, or sometimes cutlasses. But apart from that, a really fantastic story!
| Naomi Bridges chapter 6 . 9/20/2010
Wickd! best story i've read so far and i've read a lot of fanfics because i have no life.
| bowman useless chapter 5 . 9/20/2010
here i wuz thinking he'd leap off the ship and start swimming!
| the BAsement chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
shame on legolas! but i sorta agree, i mean come on! they're leaving and when they come back (if they do) Gondor will have fallen so does it really matter when? by the time they come back it'll be new york (chuckle, jk)
| OrcSlayer chapter 3 . 9/20/2010
I was so surprised (when i read the book) that legolas was from mirkwood, that creepy dark forest in the Hobbit. That forest was so disturbing, how could legolas enjoy living there?
| fdvv chapter 2 . 9/20/2010
there's no way gimli's kin r coming to help. they wouldn't come the first time (the Battle of the Pelennor FIelds or the Last Battle) or the last time, even when Middle-Earth hung in the balance. sorry. i'll shut up. oh and aragorn would NOT say prissy. i just know
| v chapter 1 . 9/20/2010
aragorn just spazzed out, but understandingly. but he really shud think about the Mirkwoods sea longing. Man I hate that! everyone will miss the elves when they're gone! when will they come back? will my favorite race come back? (sob, sob)Poor aragorn, knowing his best friend lives somewhere in the world that he cannot reach. And that best friend outlives him so long he might not be able to remember him or Middle Earth. Or will they return? I'm sorry, I'll stop ranting.
| AdminElrohir chapter 6 . 2/17/2010
(yes I know... 7 years late BUT it is a review)
This has got to be one of my favorite stories on here. Well done!
| RiverOtter1 chapter 6 . 7/31/2009
Wow... That was... beautiful! So incredibly sad and heart wrenching... but beautiful. Wow, I'm speechless. So sad though. Though I guess it is neccasary to have death in stories. Without it, they wouldn't be half as good. Though I am still very sad. :(
Keep up the amazing work!
| linn152 chapter 6 . 3/29/2008
That was breath-taking, gut-wrenching, an incredibly depressing ending, and absolutely amazing to read.
I can't say I've liked many stories that end with one of my favourite character's death but your's is one of the very VERY few. That was fantastic and I really hope to hear more of your stories...soon?
Please? I'll bake you a muffin! Though chances are it'll be black. And I don't mean from the chocolate. *Fire alarms go off*
| Love.Heals chapter 6 . 2/28/2008
.You...you killed legolas! How could you? gr...lol good story but couldnt you have killed aragorn instead lol
| StarLight9 chapter 6 . 9/26/2007
Hi! This is a great story and I enjoyed it a lot! (althought I guessed right that Legolas was going to die :D) ANyway, nice work, and I'll certainly take a look at your other stories.
| sUnKiSsT chapter 6 . 11/2/2006