|Reviews for Kaitō Kokoro|
| XenaSorceress chapter 1 . 7/14/2018
Whew, that was... steamy, to say the least. Can't believe I made it through all that without melting from embarrassment. Another piece of amazing writing from you, KH freak! This has to be one of the better stories from you that I've read so far. I feel a lot more comfortable reading this story and found it enjoyable as always. It's nice to see how you're steadily improving through practice, your skills are slowly getting better with every story you write. The dialogue feels so much more natural here, though there are a few awkward spots here and there, and the narration has drastically improved. I like how you added a few touches of delightful humor to the story, it added a nice comedy flavor to the whole thing. My favorite part is probably when Feli was playing hide and seek with Kiku and Nihon, I found the whole scene genuinely hilarious and funny, and had a good chuckle when Feli asked for Kiku one last time, to Nihon's exasperation. This time, my main criticism really just lies with the actual story than your writing skills. It's extremely similar to Hakkōna, to the point where I recognize the parts that you directly copy-pasted from Hakkōna. While I won't stop you from writing stories this way, I do have to say I strongly discourage it. It can be very off-putting to see an author recycling already used plotlines and twists, it comes off as very lazy. While I know for a fact you are far from being that kind of author (I could only dream of writing as many stories and doing as much research as you do), it still can send the message that you can't bother with even rewriting a scene over again for a different story (I'm sorry for how harsh that sounded, but I hope it got the message across). I'm fine with you writing similar stories and using the same tropes a few times again and again, but copy-pasting plot points and paragraphs is a serious no-go in my book. But as I said before, I can't stop you from writing the way you want to, this is really just me nitpicking for my own tastes. Putting that aside, though, huge kudos to creating yet another enjoyable story! I hope you continue to improve and write, you've quickly risen in my ranks to become one of my favorite authors! I'll keep cheering you on from here on out, so I have high hopes for you and your future stories! Thanks for keeping the Hetalia fandom alive, it makes me really happy that people like you are ensuring that it doesn't die down anytime soon. Keep on writing with the passion you have now, you'll go far in the future with it! Good luck!
| ImNotAStalkerchan chapter 1 . 2/3/2017
I really love this story! I think that you did great! Thank you for taking the time to write this magnificent piece of literature!
| YaoiBunny8702 chapter 1 . 12/13/2016
Wow. I really loved this. Before I had read this story (since I actually read this one before any of your other works), I had never imagined such a concept, but the way you wrote itit was so fluid and perfectly articulated, and I don't think anybody could have written this any better than you. Thank you for gracing us fellow readers with this beautiful piece or work, and keep up the great work.
| Wolfakins chapter 1 . 8/1/2016
That was... AMAZING! Holy Crap! I have so much I want to say about this! I loved how most of it flowed together and how I got to read both sides of the story. During the first couple paragraphs I was a little confused onto what was going on, but I was quick to catch up on it. I love how placing Kiku in the role of the Obake and Feli as the human make the story blend together. An a Clouded Leopard was a beautiful choice! They're very beautiful creatures! I loved how their relationship grew over time. It didn't fell too rushed and it worked well with the events you had in place. When Feli had to go back to Italy I found tears threatening to fall because it was so sad ;-; I'm happy Kiku chased after to bring the story back up and running! The funniest part, in my book, would have to be when Kiku kept switching between 'Kiku' and 'Nihon', even thought it did tire him out.
As it got past the middle part, and things started getting heated, I was actually expecting you to cut away and jump to the next morning. But, boy was I surprised! I guess I forgot to check the rating... Oh, well. I loved it anyway! I'm personally glad you wrote into it! (I'm not creepy, I swear!) It was detailed and straight to the point; very well written. Of course, with time and practice, better stories are written. I have no right to compare your stories to my own as I do not get feed back on Lemons like you can. All I am saying is that if you ever choose to write more, it will just keep getting better and better. I always enjoy a good lemon. And you, my friend, have a good lemon :D
I'm glad everything turned out well between both Feli and Kiku, as well as acceptance from Lovino and Romulus. Feli deserves Kiku as his 'mate'~~ Great story and continue writing! :D
| Nintendofg4life chapter 1 . 7/20/2016
Sorry I haven't reviewed this yet. You put so much effort in this story, it honestly shocks me. You are a really good writer. I'll go review your latest geritapan story. Keep up the good work :)
| Arthur Kirkland's Scones chapter 1 . 7/9/2016
THIS IS GR8 M8
| SakurAndrea chapter 1 . 7/8/2016
Hello! Sorry I didn't reviewed the day you posted this amazing story! I actually read it as soon as it came out! Though it was pretty late and I fell asleep XD
Anyway! Thank you for another great story! I really love the idea of japan being a youkai and the fact that it is slightly similar but yet completely different from hakkona made me enjoy this story so much more! I really, really like your stories (and the fact that they are Axis centered makes them even better XD ) thanks you for another great story!
| Magentacrazedgirl8 chapter 1 . 7/3/2016
I liked it! It wasn't bad for your first m-rated story! I hope Feliciano and Kiku are Ok! That was a bunch of sex..
| hisuiryuu chapter 1 . 7/2/2016
I love this
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2016
This is literally some of the best smut I've ever read, no joke. On an awesome scale of 1-10 you would be Prussia
| Estelluerite chapter 1 . 7/1/2016
Waterheart Dragon tragically died of multiple nosebleeds while reading this hazardous story. It is far too delicious, and poses a dangerous threat to potential readers.
-Waterheart Dragon's messager ghost
| Jazz chapter 1 . 6/30/2016
Do you still remembered that I would leave a review by weekend? Okay, that was a lie NOW. Fortunately my mother returned my laptop immediately and at the same time my neighbor opened up his wi-fi! Oh how lucky I am! Now I can review this story now XD
My god! The plot is an artwork I say. I also like how you allude some of this in Hakkona :)
Oh. If you want to improve your writing skills in yaio then you should ask a fellow fanfic writer, Asreoninfusion! Both of you are yaio lovers and she writes lemon fantastically! Why don't you try chatting with her sometimes so she could give you some tips on how to write a lemon? That way, you could improve on your skills in writing lemons but that doesn't mean you have a bad start here.
| Jazz chapter 1 . 6/29/2016
Yes! It's the most powerful and my most favorite command X)
Of course. But it's too bad that it doesn't fit my schedule ToT
Sure! Go ahead sweetie _
Oh and by the way, I might not review this one for awhile. Expect Saturday or Sunday since well. . . I'm just on an internet cafe as of now and my laptop would be away for awhile until weekend. So yeah, that explains it :\