|Reviews for Deck of Cards|
| pleasedeleteaccount1245 chapter 1 . 1/25/2006
Interesting fic, I didn't catch on until the end that Schuldig was just a kid, now I'm curious about how he got so many problems.
| Minerva Solo chapter 1 . 1/31/2003
I'm going to disagree with Seph Lorraine adn say I like the present tense in your fics. There aren't many who can write it well, and it creates a tone that's innappropriate for a lot of fiction, but you make it fit. It can do a great deal for a story, especially by way of involving readers in the action and thoughts of teh characters to an extent past tense fiction rarely does.
I did warn you I'd be going through your fics and reviewing them, didn't I? Nice to know i've made a good decision _ Keep writing, this stuff is amazing!
| Lupin chapter 1 . 1/30/2003
another fascinating look at the Crawford-Schuldich dynamic...young!Schuldich is rarely written, and your portrayal of him is one that i've seldom seen; it's interesting how he's more apathetic-compliant than rebellious in this fic. Crawford, too, is kinder than many make him out to be. but you make it all work so utterly well. *in awe*
it's bloody -hard- to find good Schwarz fic that isn't yaoi, and i'm glad i came across this piece. thanks for sharing it.
| Xander7 chapter 1 . 1/29/2003
Just want to say that I really like your fics. I think they don't get many reviews maybe because most people are like me who read offline most of the time. It's hard to come across good Craw&Schu-centric ones. Anyway, keep writing.
| lux chapter 1 . 1/27/2003
One of the reasons I really like your Schwartz stories is that the interplay between Crawford and Schuldig always makes me laugh. Funny without being funny. Little twinge of melancholy too. Very Nice.
Speaking of "When The Pawn Hits", I've been dying to find out what happens next [insert obnoxious pleading noises for next chapter and that Right Soon].
Thanks again for sharing your talent.
| Seph Lorraine chapter 1 . 1/27/2003
A very good piece, very short and simple- though a bit illusive in the sense of actually having a plot. It's still good though.
I feel the need to make a comment about your present-tense writing. Usually present-tense is only used for writing reviews, reports, and such, not for fiction. It takes away from your writing to continuously use it for your entire story.
It's also a bit distracting that you don't use many pronouns (Actually, I don't remember seeing any). Try to limit the usage of names. Like so: Instead of...
"Crawford faced the window, looking out over the city. Crawford had lived here for three years now. Crawford was well familiar with the streets that crossed below him."
"Crawford faced the window, looking out over the city. He had lived here for three years now. The darkhaired man (or stoic bodyguard, Oracle, etc.)was well familiar with the streets that crossed below him."
The paragraph contains 3 sentences all beginning with Crawford, and is a bit redundant. The second one seems to have an easier flow to reading.
Those are just some pointers. Please don't believe that this is a negative review- it is not. It is only some constructive criticism I felt I should share. I really do love your fic. It's quite good. Crawford and Schuldig fics have a serious lacking in the world- there just aren't enough of them. It's good to see good ones like this ever once in a while.
Love your fic. _