|Reviews for Asclepheus Expanded|
| Reborn Dark Phoenix chapter 4 . 6/19
Goddamn, that was a lot of action.
Before anything I must say the obvious that we're all thinking: I love Pyro. Crazy bastard reminds me of Joker, Tyrian and Carrey's Riddler if they were suddenly good guys.
I love the attention to detail you give the Brotherhood. And goddamn, these guys are insane. Our extremists today got nothing on these guys. You really went all out, nice job. Especially loved Ovan, maniacal fanatics are always a great villain. This kind of reminds me of the Purifiers. Though even they're tame compared to the Brotherhood.
Poor colony though. It's always the insignificant ones that go first.
Love the introduction of the Yautja, and yay, Bul'Vyr! And judging by his brother being there, this is were we see Liana becoming an orphan. Damn, almost makes me wish things would go different. Can't wait to see them in action next.
And the Alpha Squad. Badassery 101. Flint's a badass, Dakari and Dagar are badasses, Maori is a baddaas, Pyro-no question, Montoya is a badass (i mean, duh xD)... pommel throwing, grenade exploding badasses.
Now, I know I never gave much to go on for Montoya personality wise, but the last scene were he's sitting away from the others just working on his arrows, feels accurate enough to seem like me. I do the same, work a bit away from the rest and semi ignore them. I'm a tad bit anti-social like that.
DEM GLORIOUS PUNS.
My friend...you have ascended to greatness. They are...truly... "Goddammit Barb" worthy.
And now, THE HUNT.
Awesome chapter overall, really enjoyed it. Here's to part 2 *raises glass*
| Jago-Dakari chapter 4 . 5/2
END THEM RIGHTLY!
Honestly, that was a laugh and it did serve as a distraction, though i think for the next gag it should hit somewhere else more... painful. And i love the interactions of the squad with each other, Pyro being the resident maniac and Dakari (ME!) being the resident eccentric.
The Brotherhood of Flesh sounds to me like a very unhinged splinter sect of the original Xenomorph Cult. Going so far as to turn themselves into synthetic xenomorphs hellraiser-style... i think i detect a reference :Wink:. The ceremonial armour and weaponry sounds interesting, love to see artwork of it, though their martial prowess leaves much to be desired, then again they're far used to butchering colonists then fighting myrmidons. Though the Patriarch and his Praetorian guard put up a hell of a fight.
Timeline speaking, i presume this is near or at the end of the Yautja Human war. At a point were the official ceasefire is yet to take effect and skirmishes are still erupting. and nice to see the link to Al'dan there.
Looking forward to the next instalment.
| pyrojack25 chapter 4 . 4/30
Hooray! Fire and explosions works every time! And all we're missing is The 1812 Overture for the freaks and reference galore on those Yauja. And maybe a bit of a song called Firewater.
| Saberpoint chapter 3 . 12/22/2016
You mention the Yautja King and I thought Yaujta had a Matriarchal society, but then again you had that chapter already. Good timeline though personally I liked the narrative style you had a couple chapters back.
Good chapter either way, informative; looking forward to more.
| Reborn Dark Phoenix chapter 3 . 12/20/2016
Alright, finally got around to this, and I got to say that with a more concrete timeline for us readers, I feel like things will be a not easier to follow. Placing the timeline here was a good idea; saves you from having to do more flashbacks than needed in the other two stories.
Alright, for the timeline itself. I like It, it's a good summary of canon before you diverge into your own continuity. It keeps things clear and to the point; I get the feeling that you really wanted to add a lot more to It, but since we have so much yet to be discovered in the other stories, leaving this as is makes sense. The touch of the political and economic tolls of these events adds a lot of realism to the universe, makes it more relatable and vivid, more real.
Good work with the summary of the Myrmidon Corps here, their expansion and power. A nice brief expansion into what wasn't covered in Ch1. I get the feel like they're this continuity's SHIELD, with their divisions and whatnot.
Wait...Viktor, is that you?
The history of the war is done well enough, kept brief but detailed enough for us to get the main gist. Although, why did it take so long for the Corps to get involved? The Spec Ops division at the very least should've been involved from the start; the Yautja invasion seems like a High risk hostile element.
That mysterious ship discovered. Is that the basis of the Asclepheus?
Remind me again who the Acturians are?
All in all, another nice addition to the Asclepheus-verse. Helps cement things down nicely and give us a good history. Here's to the next one, and whatever other events to come. Keep up the great work!
| Jago-Dakari chapter 3 . 12/16/2016
Ooh, a timeline. me likey!
I'm liking how you're starting out with Prometheus and then deviating at the end of Aliens, like how the comics did. And cool to see how the resulting 'Gold Rush' nearly spelt humanity's demise. Amazing what happens when greed pops it's head up.
The structure of the Myrmidon Corps, the generations of Myrmidons from it's inception, it's divisions and the individuals leading them is a nice touch. i'm seeing a little reference here :wink:
Also seeing that the cause of the Human/Yautja war was a matter of self defence against hunters shows a great deal of Yautja Pride. Also shows that Yautja tactics focuses of crippling the heart of the enemy, in this case Earth. Then everything starts going downhill when they were driven back after one pivotal battle. goes to show that even though the Yautja are more technologically advanced, they simply don't have the numbers for a war of attrition.
And then we lead up to the current events. A Robotech style discovery of the ship and the rebuilding of it. The crew and major characters and also an attack by the Black Yautja.
all in all, a concise and detailed timeline of events that make up the setting, though me personally would like more to see. but as a timeline, there are other things to add to it as events come and go.
Hands starts shaking you see that? That's Inspiration! It's contagious, y'know!
| Saberpoint chapter 2 . 9/10/2016
Wonderful chapter, it was very interesting and it appears you have a very detailed vision of your universe. It will be fun to possibly see your characters interact with some of these other species you've mentioned. If they are still around in the present time your stories are set.
I also noticed that the Yautja were not part of the alien coalition that defeated the Invaders. So either they were in a seperate part of the universe or were to primitive to be part of the coalition. Interesting, definately looking forward to more details about your universe.
| Reborn Dark Phoenix chapter 2 . 9/7/2016
First off, I liked how you incorporated HG Wells' work in here. Imagining the Kamads waging war against the War of the Worlds invaders is pretty cool.
Anyways, this was a pretty thorough history of the Kamad empire, and I really enjoyed it. Adding in their ancient heroes and legends of old was a very nice touch. I would say that my favorite of them was the Bulwark; sounds like a total bad-add.
Also good job with going into how the Kamads formed their empire and destroying the Invaders. I also liked the concept of the Imperial Senate, with representatives from all the major worlds in the empire. This really reminds me of constitutional monarchy, and I honestly find that really awesome. The Kamads sure are fair rulers.
It'd be a shame if a tyrannical Kamad rose to power.
And as for those tails that are to be told another day...I eagerly await them :D
Now if you still need other ideas for later chapters-maybe talk about the Alurians, or the Dwarvians (did I spell that right?). Despite them being of little to no importance up to this point, I think it'd be cool to see how they influenced the imaginations and faiths of us primitive races :)
All in All, another great chapter. Keep up the great work, and here's to the next one :)
| strangebritprops chapter 1 . 7/26/2016
I know you strongly advised to read Asclepheus and Al'Dan first, but I decided to read this first, what with it being about the Myrmidons (because of how I'm possibly going to be designing and making some armour from Asclepheus, as we discussed) and I have to say, it's a great read as it's own thing.
Obviously there may be things that I missed because I haven't read the other stories, but even without it's very informative and doesn't seem like you HAVE to read the others first.
That being said, for future chapters reading the others may be suitable, who knows?! But this one doesn't!
| Reborn Dark Phoenix chapter 1 . 7/21/2016
This is a pretty interesting story on the Myrmiddon Corps origins. The science used to explain the way they eventually came to be is pretty cool, but got my attention most were the candidates that were th final and successful Myrmiddons.
The fact that their drive and resolve is what was necessary to have them turn into super soldiers reminds me of Captain America and his transformation in the MCU. Like Erskine says, it's what was inside that truly mattered. That was pretty great, a cool take.
I enjoyed how this was done in a documentary style fashion. I don't see much of that, so good to see a nice change.
I eagerly await what else is in store here in the Asclepheus-verse, and what else we'll learn. Keep up the great work :)
| Saberpoint chapter 1 . 7/18/2016
I know you recommended reading your other two stories, but after reading it this feels as if it could stand on its own. It feels like its a long prologue than a documentary. Enjoyed it very much, you're excellent at writing narrated parts.
| Memnon45 chapter 1 . 7/15/2016
This helped a lot and explained how the myrmidons came to be.